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Well, That’s This Morning

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

robbie picture

I took Robbie to the vet’s today, first thing, and we were there a while. I don’t want to go into a lot of detail; it makes me want to sit down and cry. There is a time when a stiff upper lip won’t cut it anymore.

Suffice it to say she has all sorts of problems requiring assorted treatments and no guarantee that any of it will work. This poor cat has had everything. She’s 18 years old. Go figure.

So I missed physical therapy today, the hip is killing me, don’t know how I’m going to manage to write for Newswithviews today, blog posts will be hard, too… And wasn’t there a book I was supposed to be writing?

Lord, give us strength. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

 

‘Different Strokes, Different Folks’ (My Newswithviews Column, May 23)

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Optical Illusions Art Gallery - Little Passports

When optical illusions burst into politics… watch out!

Why do people see the same things so differently? I don’t know why; but I do know it can lead to problems. Sometimes very big problems.

Different Strokes, Different Folks

I see a cat, you see a dog. We can both be wrong, but we can’t both be right. Turn right or turn left, you’ve got to make a choice.

How strong is our nation’s commitment to peace and order?

I’m afraid we’re going to find out the hard way.

Holy Moly! Progress!

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Premium Photo | A lizard is standing on its hind legs ...

I have rehab today, but first get the blog started and have some breakfast.

Now, because I was thinking about something else altogether, I got up from the table without holding onto it and went into the kitchen without having to brace myself against the door frame. It wasn’t until I was in the kitchen, rinsing out a dish, that I realized what had just happened.

Ooh, ooh! Let me try it again!

Huzzah! I can do it! I have actually made a bit of progress! Calloo, callay, O frabjous day!

I also want to make some progress on my book–Ozias, Prince Enthroned–so I’ll need to set aside at least an hour for that. So if my blog turns out a little skimpy today, at least I can tell you it’s in a good cause.

Byron’s TV Listings, May 18

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Garage Sale Finds: What was on TV March 19th through 25th, 1983

G’day, ladies and gents! Byron the Quokka here, with TV that’ll make your socks roll up and down, courtesy of Quokka University. What a weekend! Here are a few samples.

2:15 P.M.  Ch. 07  WIDE, WIDE WORLD OF PSEUDO SPORTS–Sports

Hosts Randee the Wallaby and Patty Platypus bring you the best in pseudo sports! This week: Mozambique’s 12th annual Breath-Holding Contest; Bare Hands vs. Hornets’ Nest; Underwater Arm-Wrestling from Iceland. Sponsor: Uncle Joe’s Calamine Lotion.

2:30 P.M.  Ch. 12   MOVIE–Science fiction, with goofy overtones

In My Grandmother, the Morlock (Scottish/Austro-Hungarian, 1998), Rory Calhoun stars as a time-traveler looking for his car keys. This was the first movie that depicted Morlocks as middle-class wine snobs. Heathcliffe: Sir Laurence Olivier. Grumpy: A Cartoon Character. Mrs. Sangfroid: Willa Cather.

Ch. 18   YOUR A** IS ON THE LINE!–Game show in deplorable taste

Created by the Belarus Bureau of Attitude Adjustment, this is the suspense reality show of the year! Only one of the contestants will escape the firing squad. Everybody else, “Dos vidanya, comrades!”  Competition will be in Making Silly Faces, Imitating Moths, and Winning at “Clue.” Guest judges: The June Taylor Dancers.

3:03 P.M.   Ch. 44   MY NOT-SO-LITTLE MARGIE–Sitcom (please remain seated)

What would you do if your baby girl grew into a giant? Bigger than the house! Bigger than any classroom in school! And really hard to feed! This week: Margie (special effects by Ray Harryhausen), already 55 feet tall, wants to go to the senior prom with the smallest boy in the class–cricket-sized Hobie Lundrith (Al Damato)! How will this romance turn out? Mr. Gandy: A man who thinks he’s an owl. Debbie the Hired Assassin: Debbie Reynolds.

Well, folks, there you have it–just a little foretaste of the nirvana that awaits you. Did you know I have Patty Platypus’ autograph?

Quokka selfies: Is Instagram's welfare warning 'overkill'?

(I’m pretty sure that’s me; and I THINK the guy is Dean Martin! Wow!}

Byron the Quokka, signing off.

Huff! Puff! Wheeze!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

275 Tired Lizard Stock Photos - Free & Royalty-Free Stock Photos from Dreamstime

I feel you, bro…

I am out of gas!

Physical therapy. Go to the store. Write the Newswithviews column you forgot to write yesterday. Quick–five blog posts, please! Oh! And you have to finish a chapter of that book you’re writing.

It calls to mind my old newspaper reporter days. Always on the hot seat. Deadline for this, deadline for that–and oops, another story just came in that you have to write and edit and set type and paste onto the front page. You’ve got 20 minutes.

Anyway, it’s done. And now I must spring up to clean the cat’s litter boxes (she has two–eat your hearts out, other cats). Because it’s almost suppertime.

See you in a bit. I like to post those critter videos after I eat.

Now I Have a Cane

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Sphinx – Mythology Unbound: An Online Textbook for Classical ...

“What goes on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening?”

Such was the riddle of the sphinx; and when Oedipus answered “man,” the sphinx cast herself off a cliff.

Well, I have a cane now. Bat Masterson, that’s me (or could be, if I had a derby). It shouldn’t be too hard to learn to use it properly. When I had to borrow my Grandpa’s cane, forty-some years ago, I didn’t do it right and it threw my back out. Very painful, and for a long time!

I have now experienced by riddle of the sphinx in person. I’d just as soon have missed it. But these things sneak up on you.

Physical Therapy, Day 4

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230,300+ Physical Therapy Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty ...

Don’t worry, I’m not going to subject you to a history of my physical therapy, I know it might easily wind up boring my readers. But I never expected anything like this to become a part of my life; and I daresay that probably applies to most of us.

The therapist who worked on me today recommended I get a cane. He was a little bit scared he might offend me, but I wasn’t offended. Gotta do something about the mess my hip is in. Anyway, there must be a lot of things a student of the sword can do with a cane, besides just hobbling around with it.

A friend of mine from basketball had a hip replacement and came back from it to play again; and he made a good run of it until the other hip blew out. No more basketball for him. I will try very hard to avoid that.

The next session will be on Thursday–my 75th birthday. Confound it, I still have books to write! And a wife and a cat to love. Bring on the crabcakes! And bring on the prayers.

What’s Your Pleasure?

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103 Gray Tree Frog Stock Photos, High-Res Pictures, and ...

(“What’s your pleasure?” said the Tree Frog…)

I’m noozed out, I’ve got physical therapy to go to this morning–and what should I post in my blog?

I’m hoping Byron the Quokka comes up with some TV listings; but boy are we wide open for reader suggestions and requests! I’ve got an open slot and I’d rather not fill it with nooze. Been doin’ that all week, and my soul is tired.

What’s your pleasure? Video? Nature? History? A progress report on my next book? (Yes, we’ve made some progress.)

I’ll be back around noon, eager to see your replies.

Physical Therapy, Day 2

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189,700+ Physical Therapy Photos Stock Photos, Pictures ...

Between having to go for physical therapy, and having to write my Newswithviews column, I’m running hopelessly late with my blog. But those are things I have to do, no backing out.

I got worked over pretty good by the therapist. I mentioned that this was the first time I ever had to pay someone to pull my leg. And what if it were to pop loose–like those little dolls we used to have, whose arms and legs could be pulled off? Not a comforting thought.

I also had to do some work with those big squeezy balls that I thought only featured in Fail Army videos.

Anyhow, my hip is bad and they’re trying to fix it for me… so I’ll just have to find some way to rearrange my schedule.

I’m Off Sports

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2,500+ Softball Practice Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty ...

Sunday used to be the day for Sports! Softball practice in the morning, baseball on TV all afternoon and into the evening. Later in the year, football. When we weren’t playing sports, we were watching sports.

Yeesh, the time I wasted!

No mas, no mas. The seats Patty and I used to get in Yankee Stadium now cost ten times as much, if not more. A 5-cent pack of baseball cards, with gum, now costs $5–without gum. Not to mention Gay Day at the ol’ ballpark. I thought you used sports to get away from stuff like that.

Oh, but playing sports, and not just watching!

It’s as bad as politics. You want to learn what’s dirty about politics? Join a men’s softball team. Whispering, backbiting, forming little cliques that politic against each other–all that fun you can have without ever picking up a bat. Or try basketball at the YMCA. Guys you know in ordinary life as friends and co-workers turn into werewolves on the basketball court.

Sports brings out the worst in people. After a lifetime of playing and watching sports, that’s what I’ve learned.

Have you noticed there are no “sports” in the Bible? Except for a passing mention of the gladiatorial games in Ephesus (1 Corinthians 15:32)–trust the Romans to provide that.