Byron’s TV Listings, Dec. 9

A Review of the 1973 TV Guide Fall Preview Issue | Cavalcade of Awesome

G’day, boys ‘n’ girls! Byron the Quokka here, with Quokka University’s “Save Your Sanity” campaign–save it by watching these cool TV shows. Like for instance…

7:00 P.M.  Ch. 06  MacTavish of the Jungle–Adventure

A Scottish crossword puzzle expert (Jose Valdivielso), marooned in the jungle, has to live by his wits! This week: Chief O’Brien (Phil Rizzuto) hears a rumor that the cannibals are coming; it’s up to MacTavish to cool him off before he explodes. Featuring the June Taylor Dancers, “Song of the Coccyx.”

Ch. 18  NINNY NEWS WITH BILL BANIPAL–Assyrian Empire news

“Ninny” means “Nineveh,” the ancient capital of the Assyrian Empire. What would the news look like if that empire still existed? If it ruled the world? Anchor Bill Banipal, with some aunt of his, tackles questions that have troubled hardly anyone at all, ever. Sponsored by Turtle Wax and Fong’s Dental Floss!

7:12 P.M.  Ch. 88   MOVIE–Unbearable suspense

Directed by Luther Rackley, who once played in the NBA, and starring Susan Sontag and Red Buttons, Oedipus Wrecks (363 minutes) updates the classical Greek tragedy to modern times and makes it about a small towing firm down on its luck. Written by monkeys! Queen Jocasta: Barbara Billingsley–with Jerry Mathers as the Sphinx. Voted “Most Appalling Film of 1958.”

8 P.M.  Ch. 29  COLLIDGE BOLE–Game show for doozies

Hogmouth University’s team of crash test dummies–they have yet to score a point, but keep winning their matches–takes on Yale’s “Straight A’s Brigade.” Last time they were here, Yale scored negative 32 by incorrectly finishing the sentence, “What goes up must come ____.” Moderator: Some guy from OPEC.

Well, now, how’s that for stellar television! My nest could be filling up with water and if I was watching Ninny News, I’d never notice till my potato chips got wet!

Quokkas Setonix brachyurus marsupials native to Rottnest ...

Me and Cousin Feezy checking out a seemingly abandoned bicycle.

By Poplar Demand… Crazy Dog Zoomies

I couldn’t find the tortoise zoomies video that I was looking for, so I’ve gone with one of my all-time favorite critter videos.

Somewhere behind these crazy antics there must be a story. And I’ll be there are two very different sides to it.

Sock Puppies!

I never saw Pomeranian puppies till now. Gee, they look like animated pom-poms! But as you can see, they are totally fierce and if they ever did to you what they do to this sock… you’d wind up two feet taller.

If a Shepherd Has No Sheep…

A border collie is supposed to herd sheep: they were bred for that. But here’s a border collie herding ducklings–and doing a good job of it, too. I wonder: was she auditioning for a job with sheep?

Why Isn’t This Parakeet Scared?

Does this bird have a death wish–or does he know, somehow, that the cat won’t hurt him? Try this outdoors and it’s bye-bye birdie. But in the human home… animals learn to be more than they thought they could be.

Cats Climbin’ Curtains

My iguana gave up climbing curtains when he accidentally tore one down–he did not like to repeat accidents, and took pains not to–but it’s hard to imagine any cat caring about what he did to the curtains. There’s always more curtains somewhere else.

Four-Legged Fishermen

So two dogs decide to go fishing…

No, it’s not a joke. They really did–and look at all the fish they caught. Huge salmon, almost as big as the dogs. How many did they catch, and what did they do with them? Inquiring minds want to know.

Parrots: ‘Fear No Cat’

How do the parrots in these videos get the upper hand over these cats? I mean, who’s supposed to be the predator–eh? Somehow the parrot has the cats’ number. We need an enormous federal grant to study this mystery!

On the Same Team: Cats & Dogs

Y’know, some of these videos are actually heart-warming. We see dogs and cats, young and old, taking care of each other. Domestication is a good thing.

Cats and Consequences

No one can beat a cat at jumping backwards. Of course, cats don’t do that for fun. They launch themselves when startled… which, as you can see in this video, can happen in very many ways. Some of them the cats’ own fault.