What are these fuzzy little characters trying so hard to tell us?

I don’t know. My cat, Robbie, knows at least 50 different ways to say “Give me something to eat.” She and her sister, Peep, also excel at pulling wistful little faces. They’ve practiced this a lot over the years and have gotten really good at it.

This reminds me of how my box turtles used to torment our dog, Rags, by strolling around his doghouse and eating his dog food. There was nothing he could do but bark his head off, which didn’t impress the turtles at all. They were box turtles: if he tried to bite them, they could just seal up their shells. Poor Rags, he got quite exasperated.

Here we have a Greek tortoise and… well, a kitten. A kitten who is up for the confrontation. I wouldn’t want to be in that turtle’s shoes.

It is said of the famous Hittite general, Elmer Arbogast, that whenever he saw sleepy kittens coming his way, he ordered a full retreat. Who can blame him? (Never mind those snarky comments made by certain Assyrian chroniclers.)

Anyway, we dare you–we double-dare you–to stay awake for the duration of this video!

Please excuse the headline. I was only trying to make it punchier.

In certain bait shops they’ll sell you a little brown paper bag full of live fiddler crabs. What they don’t sell you is instructions on how to handle them. The crabs are in constant motion (who can blame them?), trying to escape. Somehow the kittens in this video reminded me of those crabs. Only fuzzier.

On a par with Godzilla vs. Megalon! See it now! Gasp in awe as ferocious predators crawl up the legs of someone’s pants! Good thing no one was wearing them at the time. See them pit tooth and claw against somebody’s belt! Thrill and shiver at the sight of a pocket brought to hideous life by the insertion of a kitty’s head! And then try to go to sleep at night…!

Marlene had one of these for us earlier today, in the comments section–kitten video from “Funny Cats and Nice Fish.” They make a lot of great kitten videos, including the one you are about to see–or have just seen, because you watched the video before reading the text. Maybe you don’t read the text at all. Shoot, I could have written anything down here, and some of you would never know it.

We all know what expensive curtains are for. They’re for kittens to use in playing hide-and-seek. And for climbing. My iguana always climbed the curtains, and our cat Buster needed a lot of persuasion before he gave up that habit. The curtains in this video look like they could support several climbing cats. You’ll know when it’s too many…

I’ve only known one human being who reacted to an Easter egg the way these kittens do, and I’m afraid he wasn’t quite the ticket. I can’t give you his name and address, in case someone sees it and tries to sell him life insurance.

Anyway, short but sweet–watch the kittens go wild over the egg.

I apologize for posting this video so late in the day. I was overcome by its high levels of cuteness, and have only just now recovered.