‘Excuse Me–Is This Your Brain?’

They’re still trying to find the owners of nine brains that turned up loose on the sidewalk of a village in upstate New York some years ago.

Excuse Me–Is This Your Brain?

“If only we had a college or a university nearby, it’d be easy to track down nine people with missing brains,” said police chief Agnes Morehead. “They’re always losing their brains–and half the time they never miss ’em.”

The fact that the brains are somewhat undersized “points to higher education,” said the chief. “After all, it’s not like they had any use for ’em.”

If you have any information which might re-unite one of the brains with its owner, contact the Squalid Village Police Dept.

Excuse Me–Is This Your Brain?

Nine loose brains have turned up along a street in a little village in upstate New York–yes, just lying about on the street ( http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2015/05/possible_dog_brains_found_in_st_lawrence_county_a_mystery.html ). And no, I’m not pulling your leg.

Police turned the brains over to a local veterinarian, who thought they might be dog brains, although he’s blamed if he knows how they came to be reposing on the sidewalk. Another authority thought the brains were more likely sheep brains.

No one is considering the possibility that these are undersized human brains, either mislaid by their owners when not in use, or else that fell out during strenuous exercise and have not as yet been missed.

Shouldn’t there be at least an advertisement in the local weekly? FOUND, in such-and-such a place, NINE BRAINS. To report a missing brain, contact the Governeur Village Police Dept.

We all know there are large groups of people who function without brains all the time–academics, college students, journalists, liberals, etc. Nevertheless, a lost brain can become a serious inconvenience, especially when playing bridge or trying to write a grocery list.

UPDATE; A check of the county voter rolls has shown nine voters who have only just recently registered as Democrats. Police are checking allegations that the Party requires new recruits to dispose of their brains before they can receive food stamps.