‘My Iguana’ (2015)

Baby Green Iguanas

Gotta get ’em while they’re babies

This is the first time in my life, since I was a toddler, that I have no pets. God knows I miss the one’s I’ve had. Including my iguana, whom I had for 17 years.

My Iguana

Anyhow, this lizard thought he was a mammal, ’cause that’s how he was raised. He did everything but purr. All right, he didn’t fetch, either. But where we were, that’s where he wanted to be; and he was awfully good companionship.

Yes, I know a lot of people have had grouchy mean iguanas who’d bite you as soon as look at you. But it’s all in the way they’re raised.

Sort of like people.

‘Memory Lane’ Contest, Day 10

Laughing Happy Iguana Stock Photo 768171682 | Shutterstock

Here is where you post your memories, if you want to enter our Memory Lane Contest. It’s open to all, first-timers welcome–and you can win a prize.

I’m remembering my iguana, my pet for 17 years–nice big lizard who thought he was a mammal. My wife, my mother, and my neighbor all made tasty salads for him.You collect a lot of memories in 17 years, and here’s one of many fond ones:

When Patty and I played board games on our dining table, or in bed, my iguana liked to climb up there and join us. He never interfered with anything we were playing, and we were happy with his company. Dammit, I still miss him! He grew up thinking he was a mammal, and acted accordingly.

Now it’s your turn–memories, please. And you can enter as often as you please.

Why I Love Reptiles

Henry Lizardlover's Iguana Behavior, Body Language

It’s easy to understand why anyone would love a cat, a dog, or a bunny. They’re cuddly, they can love us back, they can be trained to perform useful work, and can even play with us.

But I love lizards and turtles, too. I’ve had many different kinds as pets. You can’t teach them to do jobs, I’ve never known a lizard to play, it’s hard to be cuddly when you don’t have any fur, and as for loving us back–well, I’ve had a few lizards and turtles who did a pretty good imitation of it, and maybe it wasn’t an imitation after all.

Dogs and cats, rats and bunnies, goats and horses–they’re mammals, like we are. That means we have a lot in common. We can get into each other’s heads, as it were. You can understand what your cat wants, even though she can’t tell you in words. Your dog can understand what you want, etc.

But what about a lizard or a turtle? (Those of you who are wondering why I’ve left out snakes–well, I’ve had no experience with snakes.) These are very, very different from mammals. No parental care: the eggs hatch and off they go.

But I’m here to tell you that you can win the trust of a lizard or a turtle. They will lose their fear of you, certainly seem to enjoy it when you handle them; and if they’re big and smart enough to be allowed the run of the house, they’ll often seek you out, and seem to be happy in your company. And if treated kindly and gently, they can learn to do things that they’d never ordinarily even think of doing! You should have seen my iguana cuddled up with his doggy and catty friends. Unthinkable, really. But he’d been around long enough, and thoroughly hand-raised from the time he was a tiny little green thing, to be able to adapt to many unusual situations.

To me a bond with a reptile feels special because I know how different they are, I know what a great gaping space a turtle and I have to bridge before the turtle wants me to tickle the top of his head and the underside of his neck. A turtle in the wild who allowed anything like that would have to be totally crazy. To have the little slowworms (legless lizards: charming little souls) scooting over to me to get fed and petted–well, really, that made me feel like something very fine was happening to them and me. It felt like a glimpse into God’s restoration of Creation.

When I had an art class to teach, I used to take my iguana to school because the kids liked to draw him, and feed him wild strawberries. He behaved himself all day, with perfect manners. He had a bond of trust with me that he extended to most other humans. He and Patty hit it off from the git-go. He and Patty’s dog were instant friends.

Reptiles are capable of much more than we expect from them; and to have had a role in bringing it out–well, what can I say? I love it when that happens!

The Family Iguana

I had my iguana for 17 years; but this Japanese family had theirs for 23! Theirs even looks like mine, and the video brings me close to tears. (Average lifespan in captivity: ten years)

Iguanas are social animals, and they have to be socialized. Like mine, this iguana was thoroughly integrated into family life and the result was a wonderful pet. My iguana loved to cuddle with people–or dogs or cats, if no people were available. Would you believe it? He died in 1978, and I miss him still.

As you can see, these are really big lizards. But they start out little, and that’s when you should start teaching them how to be good. Believe me, they learn.

The only thing they can’t do as pets, assuming you raised them right, is… be furry!

WordPress Problems Solved (Mostly)

Image result for images of relief

Yesterday afternoon I finally made contact with one of WordPress’s “Happiness Engineers”–that means “tech support,” but sounds nicer–and, after a long struggle, got my old Stats page back. It’s still missing one feature I’ve always rather enjoyed, but maybe we can fix that after Christmas.

I salute the WordPress staff, because I know working with me can’t be easy. I don’t understand computers and I don’t speak the language, so it’s hard for me to explain what the problem is. Then again, if I could explain it all that clearly, I could probably solve it myself. Anyhow, this guy named Cesar patiently hung in there until my site was back the way I wanted it. Very well done, sir!

Look, I’m like my old iguana, okay? He had a perch when he was about seven inches long and weighed two or three ounces. He still had that perch when he was over three feet long and weighed ten pounds or so, and he couldn’t use it anymore without falling off. So I took it out of his cage and replaced it with a nice big new one suitable to his size.

And what did he do? He sat on the floor and sulked! Refused even to look at the new perch! Finally I had to re-install the old one; and he immediately climbed up, parked himself on the new perch, and lovingly draped his tail over the old.

Image result for happy iguana

P.S.–That stuff about the $300 “WordPress Business,” I am told by my webmaster, need not concern me: it was supposed to be taken care of automatically at her end, and will be.

So now, as Mel Allen used to say, back to baseball!

Big Lizard Makes Nice Pet (Sometimes)

The iguana in this video reminds me of my own iguana who was my pet for 17 years. I always fed him by hand. He had a passion for red foods, like strawberries, watermelon, or tomatoes, and if one was painted in color on the dish he was using, he would try to eat it.

Iguanas are social animals, and if you get one that’s too young to have formed any bad habits, and constantly handle it and interact with it, that iguana will grow up into a nice pet like the one pictured here. Mine was as gentle as a lamb, and almost as large. A baby could have safely played with him.

Warning: Do not treat a full-grown iguana with disrespect. A friend of mine had a very big iguana whom he had not properly socialized: this critter could be mean. And sneaky, too. One day my friend picked him up and stuck his tongue out at him.

Chomp!

Sorry, but I got quite a laugh out of that.