Tag Archives: oppressed millionaires

NFL Getting Despised Back

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The reddish-orange areas are empty seats.

This weekend was the 100th anniversary of the National Football League, the pro sports league that leads all the others in showing disdain for America, and fans celebrated by staying away in droves (https://www.breitbart.com/sports/2019/09/08/weak-1-seats-still-empty-for-several-teams-as-nfls-100th-season-kicks-off/).

Acres and acres of empty seats at one stadium after another–in Cleveland, Jacksonville, Miami, and Charlotte, just to name a few. The Breitbart article has pictures of all the fan-starved stadiums.

According to one commenter, CNN–yeah, CNN: what would possess you to watch it?–reported that the sea of empty seats was due to–wait for it!–“fans are disappointed that no team signed Colon [sic].” Colin Whatsisname is the mediocrity who started this whole schtick of “Take a knee to show you much you loathe America.” All this toxic waste about “oppressed” millionaires. The guy hates our country, calls it a racist hellhole. He’s made millions of dollars doing it. Y’know, resuming an active career in football would probably mean a big pay cut for him.

Hey, NFL! We’re America, and we know the NFL is not our friend!

Go to an NFL game? I won’t even watch it on TV.

You Can Help Oppressed Zillionaires!

When lavishly-paid football player Colin Whatsisname made world news by refusing to stand for America’s national anthem–because, you see, this is an oppressive country, a real racist hell-hole–he inspired a great philanthropic endeavor: the Fund for Oppressed Professional Zillionaires (FOPZ).

All over this evil land, millionaire celebrities are feeling oppressed. Even the president feels oppressed, no matter how many opulent taxpayer-financed vacations and getaways he takes.

Well, FOPZ is going to do something about it! We want our rich and pampered athletes, entertainers, and government big shots to feel happy and contented. It’s just not enough for them to be rich and powerful and famous. We want them to be happy, too.

So here’s the deal. The dollars that you contribute to FOPZ will be used to purchase some of those hateful ordinary working people for use as human sacrifices. Yes: those nasty little nobodys who pay Colin Whatsisname’s salary, and pay for the president’s vacations, each month one of them will be sacrificed upon an altar, the ashes to be put in plastic vials and sent to whatever celebrities are feeling oppressed lately.

Whether you’re a multimillion-dollar athlete, rock star, rap artiste, reality show star, or government official, FOPZ is dedicated to easing your feelings of oppression by catering to your sense of entitlement.

Hey! You’ll run out of money before we run out of little people to sacrifice.

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