A Quokka’s Good Morning

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, having breakfast. I don’t know whether you’ve noticed this or not, but a lot of leaves taste even better after they’re all dried out and crinkly. That’s my cousin Fabio in the background: a very picky eater.

Quokkas Chase June Taylor Dancers

If you’re wondering why the June Taylor Dancers weren’t mentioned in this week’s TV listings, it’s because they suddenly bailed out on us. This video shows our two police quokkas, Feezle and Wellington, trying to arrest them. Should’ve been able to run them down, but somehow they all got hold of bicycles.

Quokka University regrets any ennui or weltschmerz that might have been engendered by the absence of the June Taylor Dancers from this weekend’s Quokka UTV schedule. They’ll be sorry when they see how easily we can replace them.

By Popular Demand! The Quokka Tango

Phoebe says we need some quokka video here, and I say so, too. So here’s me, Byron the Quokka, eating a nice fresh leaf for energy and celebrating with a little dance. You humans ought to try it!

The Quokka Hop!

We went out to Wegman’s to get an anniversary cake–and hum-baby, the traffic! Lucky to get back in one piece.

I was going to show a video of caecilians, so you’ll know what the folks in Scurveyshire will soon be up against, but this hopping quokka video stole my heart. I am glad it stole nothing else.

I’m not able to identify this particular quokka, but Byron says it looks like Uncle Shinbone hurrying off to a lost city rumored to exist somewhere on Rottnest Island.

And now it’s time for Patty and me to celebrate our anniversary. See you this evening!

Special! Guest Quokka Leaf Video!

G’day! Byron the Quokka here with a special treat sent to us by Phoebe–top-secret video of a bunch of us quokkas snacking on leaves. We call them “ponga leaves” so that humans won’t come along and take ’em all.

We can never understand why humans don’t like leaves. You don’t know what you’re missing! And they’re good for you, too. A woman named Smith ate leaves and lived to be 120 years old. You could look it up!

We hope you appreciate this wee glimpse through a keyhole into the lovely motel room of quokka cuisine. I am working hard on my metaphors!

Bonus Video: Quokka Kisses, with Meerkats

Nooze has left a bad taste in my mouth. Time for an antidote: quokka kisses! Along with some frisky meerkats, at Wildlife HQ Zoo. Would you like to trade places with this keeper?

Quokka Home Movies

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with some of my family’s home movies. I wanted to post footage of us playing Clue, but everybody else wanted to show the juggling. We love watching humans juggle! It’s sort of a quokka thing–maybe because we are so no good at juggling, ourselves.

Special! Quokka Video

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with a special quokka video. This is my cousin Brando, named for his uncanny resemblance to Marlon Brando. “As alike as two peas in a pod!” his mother said, after she saw Mutiny on the Bounty.

Brando is well-known for his flawless table manners, which you can easily see as he chows down on a leaf. What style! And he chews with his eyes closed, just to show you he can do it.

Baby Quokka Grows Too Big for Pouch

(Okay, Byron, this had better be good! I passed up a really cute baby rhino video for it.)

After about three months, things get exciting for a baby quokka and his mother: he’s growing too big for the pouch, and he needs to be weaned off milk and onto real food.

Before we titter at quokkas for being fooled by a robot quokka, remember who shut down their whole country because of some guy’s cockamamie computer model.