there are no moderate Democrats

The International Bigfoot Research Alliance (IBRA) has joined the search for “moderate Democrats.”

“This search has become a job for cryptozoology,” said IBRA Director Freddie Fungo. “All these years of hunting Bigfoot has prepared us for the biggest challenge of all–to prove the continued existence of moderate Democrats.”

The fact that they have not caught Bigfoot seems to have made no impression on them.

“Moderate Democrats were fairly numerous as recently as 2,400 B.C.,” Mr. Fungo said, “and as late as 1623, Sir John Mandeville reported an encounter with a good round dozen of them somewhere in the Everglades. And of course we know from history that Grover Cleveland not only existed, but was twice elected president.

“So they must be somewhere! It’s just a matter of looking in the right place. When we do find them,” he predicted, “they’ll be in the last place we look.”

And then, he said, “the challenge will be to protect them from poaching by today’s not-so-moderate Democrats.”

You don’t need me to tell you about last night’s Democrat “debate.” And if you missed it, here’s some video of a penguin rookery. Same thing, only shorter.

I’m starting to get a creepy feeling about these events. They’re starting to look and sound like TV game shows, washing out any serious civic purpose that they might have ever had.

We have a problem in this country with voters who don’t understand what a president is, or what a president’s supposed to do. So they’ll vote for some nothing candidate because he or she belongs to their own identity group. But then you look at the debate setting and you wonder if anybody takes this seriously at all. Maybe it really is just a kind of popularity contest. Maybe it doesn’t matter which goof gets elected.

In a dangerous age, in a fallen world, our political process is turning into a farce, a comic opera. They tell us to keep our eye out for the moderate Democrat. What moderate? There’s no such thing. Every one of them’s a Far Left wacko.

That Democrat National Convention this summer ought to be really something. Something like a penguin rookery where all the penguins go mad and try to kill each other.