Month: November 2013

Our Swell Post-Christian World

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

I think I’ll watch Miracle on 34th Street this afternoon. It’s a wonderful fairy tale. It’s also a great movie about fairy tales.

In my time the biggest fairy tale ever told is that the world doesn’t need Christianity anymore, it can get along just fine without Jesus.

Uh-uh. Yeah, sure looks it. How many stories have I seen this morning–just this morning–of people rioting, stabbing each other, having apoplexies, etc., during the course of their “Black Friday” shopping? There was no such thing as “Black Friday,” not so long ago. Some ad men invented it, and people went for it. You can’t get them to hear the Gospel, but they’ll kill and be killed for Black Friday.

And then there’s the rest of the news: the new urban craze, “Knockout,” which used to be known as unprovoked assault and battery; our elected officials’ most current lies; this new sexual liberation movement, that new wrinkle in public education to support the new sexual liberation movement…

Yeah. Post-Christian civilization.

Even if Christianity were a fairy tale, which it isn’t, it would still be a thousand times better than what our ruling nincompoops are pleased to call reality. But it isn’t the Bible that’s the fairy tale.

It says something about our wise men and our scholars and our whoopee crowd that they can’t even make up a fairy tale that doesn’t suck.

A New Kind of Fantasy

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Sometimes I think I would enjoy writing a fantasy novel in which the lead character is a coward and an idiot who can’t do anything right. For instance, the Knight turns to him and says, “Soon the battle will begin.” And Mr. Screw-up answers, “What? What did you say? Did you say battle? Man, no way–I’m outta here!” Think Bill Paxton in Aliens or True Lies, and you’ve got exactly the kind of character I mean.

Or, “Sir, did you not know that this is Camelot, and the stronghold of King Arthur?”

“Camel lot? Like you can buy used camels here? Fooey! And what’s this king, Arthur Whatsisname? King of what? Why can’t anyone around here talk sense?”

This could be fun. But it could also get very tiresome: the writer would have to take care not to cross the line. And of course, in addition to the fun of shaking up fantasy cliches, there would have to be a point to the story.

I think some of you can probably guess what that would be.

Here’s hoping you all had a nice Thanksgiving.

 

I’m Not Writing Anything Today

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

In a few minutes we’ve got to hit the road to my sister’s house for Thanksgiving dinner, so I have no time to write my daily blog piece.

I just hope my sadly deluded brother didn’t receive his Organizing For America talking points for browbeating his family over the dinner table, trying to trick them into thinking Obamacare will be good for them. Oh, that’s right–they decided not to do that, after first wasting millions of dollars trying to set it up.

Meanwhile, Patty has Grandma’s old autograph book, with entries starting in 1910. Until we found that book a little while ago, I never knew Grandma’s actual first name was Minerva. That’s a cool name! (And no, I never thought her name was really Grandma.)

Of course her children wanted to sign her book, too; and they did. The youngest, Aunt Florence (she wasn’t an aunt then), in signing the book, reminded her mother that she was “one of the twins”–just in case Momma forgot that she had twins, or forgot what she named them. The other twin, Aunt Joan, wrote the same thing.

I am thankful that we found that book. It does bring Grandma back to me. She used to rub away my headache when I got one. And I confess now that only a few of those headaches were real.

Again, folks, sorry I wasn’t able to write today.

 

Three Cheers for Godzilla

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Sometimes I have to step back from watching civilization destroy itself. Of course the American Humanist Assn. is suing a school district because a teacher prayed. Of course 100 million people are going to lose their health insurance, thanks to their own government which many of them, in their stupidity, voted for. Of course a Methodist bishop promises to go on performing sodomite parodies of marriage in his church.

I can’t write about that stuff today.

But I will write about a Thanksgiving tradition at our place.

Every year, on the day after Thanksgiving, my wife and I watch Godzilla vs. Megalon. I told my friends in a Pogo chat room and one of them asked, “Is that football or basketball?”

Neither–it’s Godzilla, King of the Monsters. It’s Japanese monstervision at its finest. See the destruction of cities made from the Toho Film Company’s most exquisite miniatures. See the “USMC” tattoo on the shoulder of the guy who’s supposed to be the high priest of something-or-other on the Lost Continent of Seatopia. See the robot, Jet-Jaguar (“The name suits him!” says his creator), suddenly increase his size several hundredfold–never mind stretching the metal awfully thin–and hear the scientist wisely muse, “He must have programed himself to do that.”

It’s still more coherent than the daily news.

Join Jet-Jaguar as he flies across the Pacific Ocean–and there is no explanation as to how this robot is able to fly those enormous distances, especially with no provision made for fuel–to the sanctuary of Monster Island, where Godzilla lives with all the other monsters. Join Godzilla as he swims back to Japan to save it from Megalon, a giant beetle unleashed by the Seatopians to punish Japan for nuclear tests done by the United States and Russia.

It’s still more coherent than anything that goes on in Congress.

Get this movie and give your brain a day off!

Swell Book, Lousy Title

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

How many of you would be tempted to throw out a book entitled The Wierdstone of Brisingamen? Is that or is it not one of the worst titles ever?

I recently discovered this in my collection, a 1970-something edition with a special introduction by one of the true giants of fantasy and science-fiction, Andre Norton, who heaped praise on it. So how bad  could it be? I decided to re-read it, because I couldn’t remember anything about it.

It turned out to be really good.

Author Alan Garner—Wierdstone, first published in 1960, was his debut novel–liked to set his fantasies in the real world. The more of the real world that’s in the story, he reckoned, the more believable it’ll be. This story is set in Cheshire, England, where Garner was born and raised. In fact, most the details of the landscape are real.

The fantastic elements of the story all derive from bona fide Norse and Celtic folklore, with a pinch of King Arthur. Readers unfamiliar with these traditions may have trouble with the proper names.

Anyhow, the descriptive passages are truly excellent, the story itself moves along very fast, and we are amazed to discover that Garner himself, years later, called Wierdstone “one of the very worst books written during the last 20 years.”

But don’t listen to him. Find a copy of Wierdstone and enjoy it.

Video with New Hymn for Defeated Churches

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To help the institutional churches express themselves more clearly, a new interdenominational hymn has been written: Throwing in the Towel, to be sung to the tune of Bringing in the Sheaves. Here are the lyrics.

Triumph for abortion, joy for same-sex “marriage,”

Now we understand: the bad guys always win.

We the church surrender, we the church cry “uncle!”

Now we understand there’s no such thing as sin.

Chorus

Throwing in the towel, throwing in the towel,

We know when we’re licked, we’re throwing in the towel (repeat)

We have been defeated, we have lost the culture;

Gates of hell have finally ‘gainst the church prevailed.

Sorry, Lord, we blew it, we just couldn’t do it,

Satan’s team has won and we the church have failed. Chorus

UK School Threatens to Brand 8-Year-Olds as Racists

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Home of the Magna Carta and the English Common Law, the United Kingdom nowadays comes out with one outrage against liberty after another. For instance:

The headmistress of a Staffordshire public school recently threatened parents: if their children did not participate in a field trip “to explore Islam,” kids as young as 8 years old would be perpetually punished. The exact quote from Headmistress Lynn Small’s letter to parents:

“Refusal to allow your child to attend this trip will result in a Racial Discrimination note being attached to your child’s education record, which will remain on their file throughout their career.” ( http://godfatherpolitics.com/13380/students-labeled-racist-years-dont-go-islamic-field-trip/ )

Littleton Green Community School is operated by the county of Staffordshire.

Ms. Small further warned parents that she would make “a thorough and detailed investigation” into any student who was absent on the day of the field trip.

Despite public outrage and terrible publicity, this little tin fascist has not been fired from her post. In fact, the kids still have to go on the field trip, or else. Why?

Because it’s “part of the National Religious Education Curriculum together with the multicultural society in which we live, [and] it is a statutory requirement for Primary School aged children to experience and learn about different cultures,” babbled Ms. Small.

Why do we care what happens in England?

Because the tin fascists who subject America’s schools to Common Core absolutely cannot wait to do things just like this!

I promise you, pilgrims, it’s coming right at you.

Get your kids out of public education. Now.

Update: Shortly after this story broke, Head Teacher Small apologized for “inaccuracies” in her warning letter and asked parents to disregard it. “Inaccuracies”–well, that’s one way of putting it. But it seems the public uproar over her PC tantrum has convinced her not to brand as racists any children who don’t make the field trip.

But she still isn’t fired, and it’s still possible for some idiot schoolmarm to give a child a permanent “racist” label for whatever stupid reason she pleases.

 

Runaway Science

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Even in these days of the colossal Global Warming Hoax (“Hide the decline!”), we are still offered Science as the last word in authority and truth. Even the Bible can only be true to the degree to which it conforms to Science.

But it’s instructive to see what Science gets up to when it’s feeling frisky.

In 1851, Dr. Samuel A. Cartwright identified a new mental disorder, drapetomania. In a paper read before the Medical Association of Louisiana, Dr. Cartwright, man of science, identified drapetomania as psychological quirk that made “Negroes” try to run away from slavery. If they were mentally healthy, you see, they would be satisfied to remain slaves all their lives. It was only mental illness that would make them aspire to freedom.

As a preventive measure, Dr. Cartwright recommended harsh whippings. As a cure, he recommended cutting off the runaway slave’s big toes.

If he were around today, he would be writing about homophobia, transphobia, or some other imaginary problem.

God is not a man, that He should lie (Numbers 23:19). But scientists are men, and some of them lie like rugs (“Hide the decline!”). And some of them are just plain loopy.

 

The Top 5 Things Not to Say at a Fancy Dinner Party

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

I’ve been watching a lot of Agatha Christie’s Poirot lately on youtube, and can’t help being impressed by the high society of the 1930s, in which Hercule Poirot finds his milieu. The formal dinner jackets, the lavish gowns, the jewelry, those long, long dining tables heaped with silver and crystal… And I’m so afraid that I’ll embarrass myself, if I ever get invited to one of those wingdings.

To guard against my making a fool of myself, I have prepared a list of five things never to say at the dinner table. If I can just avoid these, I ought to do all right in high society.

1. “So what is the best treatment for toenail fungus?”

2. “Gee, I bet this stuff cost a fortune!”

3. “I saw this great midget wrestling match once…”

4. “Are you really going to eat that? I tried it once, and I was on the pot all night! And if that weren’t bad enough,” etc.

5. “I was reading about this famous autopsy…”

You can be sure none of these remarks would ever issue from Poirot’s lips.

 

Costco Labels the Bible ‘Fiction’

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

In a Costco store in Simi Valley, CA, thousands of Bibles carried stickers that read, Fiction $14.99.

Fiction, of course, is something that is not true.

As reported by Fox News and other sources ( http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/11/18/costco-bible-is fiction/?intcmp=obnetwork ), someone at Costco said the placement of the “Fiction” stickers on the Bible was a “human error” that has since been “fixed.” Then they clammed up about it altogether.

I visited my local Costco to see if they were labeling the Bible as fiction there, but there they didn’t have any Bibles at all.

Has Richard Dawkins been named CEO of Costco? Was it just some sophomoric atheist in the stockroom playing a childish joke? Or could it have been someone who reasoned that, since Americans treat the Bible as fiction, it might as well be labeled fiction?

When I think “fiction,” I think of the giants of fiction and fantasy–Al Gore, Bill and Hillary Clinton, and that arch-fictioneer in the White House, whose “If you like your current health insurance plan, you can keep it” ranks as one of the all-time great works of fantasy. Betcha Costco has all of them labeled Non-fiction.

Meanwhile, I heed St. Paul’s advice: “Let God be true, but every man a liar” (Romans 3:4).

Update: As of today, Costco has “apologized” for labeling the Bible fiction.

But who is going to apologize for treating it like fiction?