Memory Lane: Froggy the Gremlin

“Plunk your magic twanger, Froggy!” Did any of us ever know what that was supposed to mean?

This is extremely rare color footage of the great Andy Devine hosting the vintage 1950s kid TV show, Andy’s Gang–co-starring his wicked little sidekick, Froggy the Gremlin.

I was crazy about Froggy when I was seven or eight years old. I even had a squeezable replica of Froggy, although it didn’t talk. Which was just as well, because when Froggy talked, other people got in trouble. A great little mischief-maker was our Froggy!

Oh, how I wish–oh, how I wish that Froggy would moderate presidential debates! Now that would really be worth watching.

Memory Lane: Lincoln Logs

First you imagine it, and then you build it with your own hands–how cool is that?

Remember these? Good old Lincoln Logs. Many a fort and log cabin I built with these, most of which wound up being inhabited by toy dinosaurs. And the surprising thing is, they’re still around. You can still get them–a toy that encourages a child to use the ol’ imagination.

I’d encourage you to get your child a set of Lincoln Logs for Christmas, but I don’t want to be blamed when the kid refuses to play with them and just sits around doodling with some stupid video game.

Instead, get a set for yourself and then enjoy hours of relaxing fun, building things on your table or your floor. Maybe the kiddies will see it, and catch on. Sort of like the kids watching Tom Sawyer whitewash the fence (to dredge up another goody from the ancient past).

Hey, it’s worth a try–and if it doesn’t work, well, you’ll still have your own set of Lincoln Logs. Maybe you can build one of those little houses that someone will want to steal.

Memory Lane: DIY T.V. Repair

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One of the pleasures of my childhood was when the TV set would stop working and my father and my uncle would fix it, right there in our living room. Which meant they had to take it apart first.

I didn’t know this at the time, but my uncle was an inventor with lots of patents to his name. He worked for RCA, on the cutting edge of electronics. As for my father, there was no appliance in his home that he couldn’t take apart and put back together so it worked; and he could explain how everything worked, too. By contrast, I live among all kinds of hi-tech stuff without a clue as to how any of it works. It might as well be magic.

So my father and my uncle would take the TV apart, and its innards–mostly vacuum tubes, which I found endlessly fascinating, and it looked like there were hundreds of them–they would carefully spread out on the floor. Somehow they isolated the tubes that were probably at fault, and took them to the local hardware store to be tested on a tube-tester like the one pictured above. I loved that! It was even cooler than the machine that used to shake cans of paint. My daddy liked to take his kids along wherever he went, and I was always up for a trip to the hardware store.

Having learned which tubes needed to be replaced, they would buy them, come back home, and put the TV back together–and voila! Good as new.

I would give an awful lot to be able to watch them do that again.

Memory Lane: Ramar of the Jungle

If we might return, however briefly, to a more wholesome time, before they set up Satanist clubs in grammar schools, here’s one of those antique TV shows that set my imagination on fire when I was a kid.

Ramar of the Jungle, produced in 1953-54 and then in syndication for years, starred Jon Hall as medical missionary Dr. Tom Reyolds, and told of his adventures in the heart of Africa. Lots and lots of wildlife footage, which I could have sat and watched all day! Between that and Mark Trail comics, it’s no wonder I grew up to be Mr. Nature. Oh, and Ramar went to India, too, and had equally astonishing adventures there.

Do any of you out there remember this? Quite a few full episodes have been preserved on youtube, if you’ve got half an hour to spend on nostalgia.

And I hardly need add that my friends and I played “Ramar” a lot, making up our own adventures. Kids were still allowed to use their imaginations, back then.

I regret we haven’t used them more wisely when we got older.

Who’s Been Messing With My Computer?

We had big computer woes this morning, and I think I know who–or what–is responsible.

Gremlins.

In fact, I think it was the same gremlin who freaked out William Shatner in the classic “Twilight Zone” episode, Nightmare at 20,000 Feet. This ambitious gremlin tried to wreck an airliner, but Shatner stopped him. So now he plays it safe and just goes after computers.

I’ll have to have a word with my cats: next time this  critter comes after my computer, they are to run up and bite his ankles.

Memory Lane: Miller Dinosaurs

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Remember these? They’re some of the glorious wax dinosaurs produced in the 1950s by the Miller Company.

These have always been among my all-time favorite toys. Dinosaurs and long-lost giant mammals have always fascinated me, and I think these Miller toys from my childhood had a lot to do with that.

Amazingly, I still have a couple of them–a large Stegosaurs (left, in the picture) and a small one. It’s amazing because these toys were incredibly fragile. The sabertooth tiger’s tail, the Triceratops’ horns, the mammoth’s tusks–these would break off if you just looked at them too hard. The Brontosaur’s head had a penchant for snapping off, but you could always tape it back on with black electrical tape–and in any position you wanted, too.

Miller also produced wonderful Space Aliens, which I’ll visit some other time: I liked those, too.

Dinosaurs and mammoths and the like are not here anymore. All I know is that the God who created them pronounced them good and has the whole universe at His disposal.

Maybe someday He’ll show us where He’s put them. These are among the most radically cool examples of all God’s stuff, and I’d just love to see them.

Memory Lane: One Summer Night

Grandma Moses’ barn dance–not quite what we had, but close enough

I wouldn’t want to let this summer pass away without one last visit to a summer long ago, a weekday summer night. Come on–let’s go to my house.

It’s hot up here in the bedrooms. Not many houses had air conditioning, back then. So my brother and sister and I climb onto the spare bed because it’s right under a window. Besides, there’s something interesting going on outside.

This window overlooks the neighborhood school and playground. It’s all expanded and paved over now: no more space. No more children playing here.

But this is a summer night, the sun is down, and adults and teens have gathered on the school blacktop for a dance. They do this once a week, or every two weeks, throughout the summer. You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, you do the Hokey-Pokey and you shake it all about: that’s what it’s all about… I remember them dancing to that. I remember people laughing. There’s enough light left so you can see them dancing, round and round, hand in hand. They’re still at it when the three of us get tired, and fall asleep with the faint music of the dance acting as a lullaby. They’ll all be gone home by 10 o’clock, but we’re just little kids and we can’t stay awake that long.

That’s the dance. Elsewhere, it’s fireflies and katydids, and maybe the people next door sitting on their porch with a cold drink or two, softly chatting.

There is nothing like this anymore: not around here, there isn’t. Maybe I dreamed it. No blacktop, no playground, no dancing, and no space for dancing anymore. No Hokey-Pokey. I have the feeling that if you suggested everybody get together for a dance at night, middle of the week, in a public space if you could find one… they’d think you had a screw loose somewhere.

But I’m here to tell you it was real.

Memory Lane: Mickey Mouse vs. The Blot

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Remember this sinister figure? It’s The Blot, as in Mickey Mouse Outwits the Phantom Blot.

Originally published in 1939, the comic-strip serial has been reissued a number of times.

Before I was old enough to read a real novel, there was Mickey Mouse and The Blot, in one of those big, thick comic books that used to sell for 25 cents instead of 10. Oh, did that story rev up my imagination! I only got to read it once, because the comic book belonged to someone else in my family–it was so long ago, and I was so young, I don’t remember who–and I couldn’t take it home with me. But I never, never forgot that big black Blot stalking around, and brave Mickey going undercover for the police. I haven’t seen it since, but those images have stayed with me.

I dunno… We didn’t have computers, or smart phones, or video games. But some of the children’s entertainment, from my childhood–man, it was vivid! It probably had a lot to do with turning me into a writer: that, and God’s providence.

It was low-tech, sold for pennies–and it was great.

Memory Lane: ‘Leave It to Beaver’

You all remember this show, right? To certain persons, Leave It to Beaver is the quintessential icon of the 1950s, an era loathed by libs ‘n’ progs–mostly loathed for the good things about it, which were many.

All right, my wife says she always had a problem with Mrs. Cleaver doing housework in high heels and always looking like she was ready to go to a tea party. And Mr. Cleaver had a distressing habit of always being right. But was it such a terrible thing to depict parents as something other than rumpled, dope-smoking, clueless, morally bankrupt, and way, way less intelligent than their smarty-pants kids?

For me the enduring wonderfulness of this show rests in two supporting characters: the fantastically insincere and smarmy Eddie Haskell, and the long-suffering Mr. Rutherford (played by Richard Deacon, certainly one of the funniest TV actors ever), father of the aptly nicknamed Clarence “Lumpy” Rutherford. Unlike Mr. Cleaver, poor Mr. Rutherford never, ever knew what to do.

 

R.I.P. Phyllis Schlafly… American Hero

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Conservative icon Phyllis Schlafly–patriot, benefactor to her country, who stopped the Equal Rights Amendment and made respect for the lives of unborn babies a cornerstone of American conservatism–died Monday at the age of 92.

I’ll always remember Mrs. Schlafly because I had the privilege of interviewing her in 2009. It was not a good time for her to be giving interviews, because she was recovering from an injury sustained in a fall off a stage during one of her speeches. If I’d known about that, I wouldn’t have troubled her. But I didn’t know, and rather than bite my head off for not knowing, Phyllis Schlafly made time to discuss a hot public official with a reporter that she’d never heard of, writing for a Christian education ministry (me, writing for the Chalcedon Foundation).

We talked about the proposed new Constitutional Convention, or “ConCon,” which was a pretty hot topic in 2009 and, in fact, pretty close to becoming a reality. Mrs. Schlafly opposed it. When she was done presenting her arguments, I opposed it to. She was extremely gracious and even more persuasive. ( http://chalcedon.edu/faith-for-all-of-life/restoring-spiritual-capital/conconcontroversy-new-constitutional-convention-in-the-works/ ) She had a knack for bringing up points that you never thought of before, but should have.

In 1972 the Equal Rights Amendment was all but a done deal. But then Phyllis Schlafly rolled up her sleeves and started asking questions; and when the American people heard the answers–or, more often, the failure to answer the question–the deal got undone. Mrs. Schlafly kept up the fight for ten years until the ERA finally ran out of time in 1982, having failed to get the last three states needed for ratification.

And no, she wasn’t afraid to oppose something cleverly labeled “Equal Rights Amendment” in hopes of scaring off the opposition by raising an eyebrow and exclaiming incredulously, “You’re against equal rights?” Tricks like that didn’t work on her.

Phyllis Schlafly will never be forgiven for proving, time and time again, that the Smart People of America are really anything but.

She will enjoy the Kingdom of Heaven forevermore.