Tag: bell mountain series

My New Books Are Coming Along

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The Fugitive Prince is No. 5 in my Bell Mountain series. Collect all seven!

Another few chapters and I’ll be done writing the first draft of The Throne (Bell Mountain No. 9), which I began in April. I don’t know why this book went so fast. I do know I’ll miss it terribly when it’s done. Like, my baby has grown up and moved to Manchuria.

I know what the last line of the story is, and I know the incidents leading up to it. I just have to get them into the right order.

Meanwhile, we at Chalcedon/Storehouse Press are trying heroically to get The Temple (No. 8) ready so it’ll be on sale in time for Christmas. I just finished the last proof-reading today, and we’re waiting for a cover from artist Kirk DouPonce. I have no idea whether it can possibly be done on time.

But then I really have no idea how I write these books in the first place. I ask God for the story and He gives it to me–sometimes a little bit at a time, sometimes in a big flash.

If you would like to join the few, the proud, who have enjoyed these books, you can get started right here just by clicking “Books” and having a look around.

While You’re Here…

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Just skimming the headlines this morning reminded me of that old Car 54 theme song, from 1961–only worse, of course. Great Scott, what a mess!

But as long as you’re here, why not help this blog fulfill its purpose, and take a look at my books? Just click “Books” and you’re there.

True, in my Bell Mountain series you will search in vain for any mention of Planned Parenthood, Black Lives Matter, Obama, the Republican Party, Democrats, homosexuals, exciting new forms of “marriage” endorsed by Satan himself, or special martial arts that enable 9-year-old girls to annihilate able-bodied grown men. I have purposely left them all out. You’ll just have to read about a world in which none of those things has even been thought of.

Liberals and progressives will be unhappy if a lot of people read my books. They will even be unhappy if just some of you read my books.

There are seven in print, with No. 8, The Temple, in pre-production and No. 9, The Throne, still being written.

Read the amazon.com Customer Reviews.

You know what? I wish I was you, so I could read these books without already knowing what’s in them.

 

The Books That THEY Don’t Want You to Read!

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Didja ever notice how Big Fanta, or Big Fantasy, tries to keep you from reading books by little guys like me?

They don’t want you reading any of my Bell Mountain books (just click “books” at the top of the page, to see them). Why not? Because They are They, that’s why. They’re the same They who want to stop you buying a decent pillow, who try to stop you from investing your money in certain sure-fire schemes that are just bound to work.

Big Fanta keeps Bell Mountain down because They don’t want you reading anything but what They think you should read…

[And here I have to stop, because I’m still not sure I’ve captured the exact tone of this genre of commercial. It must be successful, or you wouldn’t hear and read so many of them. I will have to keep working at it. So far, I’m afraid most people just don’t respond to the Big Fanta boogieman.]

And Suddenly It Hits Me…

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So there I am, plugging away at my new book, The Throne (No. 9 in the Bell Mountain series), without the foggiest idea how the story’s going to end.  I’m used to this by now.

For years I wrote very differently. I had detailed biographies for every character. I had color-coded index cards, each subplot assigned its own color, so I could lay them out on the table and move them around and around until I found the best arrangements. I would be months and months at these preparations before I wrote a single word of the manuscript.

I’ve been writing The Throne since April. Each day I sit down with my pen and paper and say a prayer, asking the Lord to give me the story He wishes me to tell, and to make my work fruitful in His service. And He always gives me the story. This has been my method for each and every one of these books.

I’ve also been asking Him, lately, to show me how to end The Throne.

I was going upstairs yesterday afterno0n when, in just the time it took to climb the last two steps–whoom! I had the ending. Like a whole picture being flashed into my head. The whole thing.

Now all I have to do is write my way to it.

Sometimes I start with the ending and have to wait for the beginning. Or I start with a few key scenes in the middle of the story. Maybe even just one scene.

It’s a cool way to write, and I enjoy it. Thank you, Father.

 

An Interview With One of My Characters

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I’ve seen other authors do this, so I thought I might try it myself. So I wangled this interview with Fnaa, a supporting actor in my Bell Mountain series. Fnaa is only ten years old when he first appears in The Fugitive Prince, so cut him some slack. (Note: I have never before interviewed a fictitious character, but I am told it’s a nice skill to have if you want to work for The New York Times.)

Q: Fnaa, mostly what you do is impersonate King Ryons. In fact, you’re a dead ringer for him–even I can hardly tell the two of you apart.

Fnaa: Well, you should learn how. We don’t want to get stuck because you forgot who’s who.

Q: What’s it like to have a whole city full of people thinking you’re the king–when you aren’t? [long pause] Do you want to stop fidgeting and answer my question?

Fnaa: The little girl who’s a prophet or something, she said I could do it. She said God wouldn’t mind.

Q: But all those people cheering you–isn’t it kind of overwhelming?

Fnaa: What’s ‘overwhelming’?

Q: It means ‘too much to take in all at once,’ overpowering, awesome–

Fnaa: [Rude noise] I know what it means! It’s fun to take the tax money and throw it back to the people on the street. They really go for that! And it’s fun to call those high-and-mighty big shots names like ‘Fatty’ and ‘Baldy.’ Yes, I love all that–but it’s not like I want to do it all the time. Let King Ryons be king for a while.

Q: Didn’t you feel a bit guilty, allowing that good man, Prester Jod, to go on thinking you were King Ryons?

Fnaa: I’ve got to go now.

Q: But we’ve only just started the interview–

[Fnaa ducks back into the book and disappears. He makes one last comment: “If people want to know about this stuff, they ought to read the books! Why don’t you sell them some of your books, dummy? And that was that for the interview. ]

Progress Report: ‘The Temple’

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I just don’t feel like writing about current events today. Backed up by half a billion dollars of American taxpayers’ money, Planned Parenthood has been caught on videotape bragging about all the money they make by selling parts of babies slaughtered in the womb. And those moral imbeciles on Capitol Hill are beating their breasts and wondering what has gone haywire with our culture.

You, you numbskulls! You are what has gone wrong with our culture.

“Oh! But couldn’t we just have the gay marriage and the trans-women and the drugs and the rap music, and leave out the sale of baby parts?”

Uh-uh, sugar-plums–it’s a package deal, like cable TV: and you’ve bought the whole damned package.

But enough of this. Supposedly, this blog exists to drum up interest in my books and hopefully sell a few of them. So let’s try to do that.

Bell Mountain #8, The Temple, is getting its final edit before typesetting. We’re also waiting for another glorious cover by Kirk DuoPonce, and I need to draw a map and dash off some cover copy, and hopefully the book will be ready for release in time for Christmas.

What’s it about?

Well, King Ryons’ puny little army has invaded the vast dominions of the Thunder King, Lord Orth is converting the barbaric Abnaks to belief in God, and, in the city of Obann, under cover of law, Lord Chutt is trying to steal the boy king’s kingdom out from under him. And I don’t dare even hint what Ysbott the Snake is up to.

In other words, I’m continuing the story from the first seven books, and meanwhile I’ve written some 25 chapters of #9, The Throne. By God’s grace I’ll have it done by winter-time and it’ll be just as good as all the others.

As for #7, The Glass Bridge, a Customer Review on amazon.com the other day considerably raised my spirits. “The best series since Chronicles of Narnia,” the reader said.

Well, I don’t know about that. But it’s nice to know that somebody out there thinks so highly of it.

Dont Read That Guy’s Books!! Joe Collidge REPRINT

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From July 3, 2015

I wasnt going to come and do this blog today, becuse I had to do work for my Gender Studies degree and it was those Self-Esteem Crosword Puzles that all filled in already, not like them Sexist crossword puzles with the empty boxxes. But my prefesser he said I have to come and tell peple not to read that guys books. Well I hasnt read them I said, but he told me to come here anyhow, and also he tole me everthing I need to know about the books.

So I am telling you dont read Bell Mountan, it is suposed to be fantersy but there isnt nothing in it but Heteronormatifity and Climate Change Denail and most of all a whol lot of religin stuff. Ther ouht to be a law aginst readin books like that, and also aginst the law to rite them. I hope Hillery is presdent soon so she can make it aginst the law.

And also the books that come after that Bell Mountan they arnt any good ether. I am glad I hasnt read them, and yuo better beleve we got no books like that here in collidge. I warn yuo, if you reed any of thes books you will nevver becom a interllectural.

So if you read any of thos books by that guy, yuo are a Racist and a Homo-phob, and yuo hate woman and want to reck the Planet but we wont let you. Also yuo are stopid and Anti-Sceince and aslo you are a Religis Fanatick who beleves in God wich prooves yiu are not a interllectural.

Well thats all for now, I has to go bye some Amerikkkan flags to burn becose tomorow’s the forth of July and we doing a big Protest for extra credit.

A Wild and Crazy Book: ‘The Mabinogion’

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What kind of kook comes up with a title like The Mabinogion? Well, strictly speaking, this book doesn’t have a title. It’s just some ancient stories that wound up in a collection in the Middle Ages, and later on the woman who translated them from Welsh into English decided to call it The Mabinogion because the first four stories end with lines like “With that this Branch of the Mabinogi ends.” Nobody knows what a Mabinogi is supposed to be. It may be a 19th-century editorial error.

Some of these stories were already terribly old when they were copied down 800 years ago. So old, in fact, that by the Middle Ages no one understood them anymore. We don’t know who first told these tales, or when, or whether anything in the stories is a reflection or a messed-up memory of something that really happened. All we know is that they’re really cool stories that people have been enjoying for a very long time.

My favorite is Math Son of Mathonwy, which is the Fourth Branch of the Mabinogi, whatever that means. It tells the story of Gwydion the Magician, who couldn’t find a wife for his son and so wound up making a flower-maiden–yes, that means a girl made out of flowers–to be the young man’s bride. Or is it Branwen Daughter of Llyr, in which the gigantic Bran the Blessed wades across the Irish Sea to rescue his sister Branwen from a cruel mis-marriage?

Back in the 20th century, Evangeline Walton rewrote the Four Branches of the Mabinogi into coherent fantasy novels, which were reprinted in paperback circa 1970, when the success of The Lord of the Rings created a nearly insatiable market for fantasy. Walton’s series, starting with The Island of the Mighty is really quite good. I enjoyed those books, and still have them.

But the original (if we may call any translation an original) is much wackier, and tantalizing. I keep asking myself, what are these stories really all about? I love to delve into the roots of things, but I don’t think anyone has yet dug all the way down to the roots of The Mabinogion.

These ancient tales, whose meaning has been dissolved by time, have provided much inspiration for my own Bell Mountain series. Not that I would dare rip off such startling scenes as “the cauldron of rebirth”–if one of your warriors is slain in battle, toss him into this big pot and he’ll come out a virtually indestructible monster–but I don’t mind borrowing a proper name or two.

Just dipping into The Mabinogion from time to time revs up my imagination. I think it might work some magic on you, too. Give it a chance.

Good News for ‘Bell Mountain’ (and for Me)

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On Thursday this blog went wild with 260 views–and that was good for my Bell Mountain.

For the first time ever, the Bell Mountain paperback made the amazon.com Top 100 list for Science Fiction and Fantasy. It was ranked #43 when I discovered it there, so it may have done even better earlier.

To order a copy of Bell Mountain for yourself, or any of its sequels, all you gotta do is click “Books” and then click either the amazon.com logo or the little shopping cart.

You could also browse the archives of this blog and read various reviews of my books; and I invite you to check out the amazon.com Customer Reviews. Honest, folks–people do enjoy these books! Give yourself a treat, why don’t you?

You will also be helping this blog live up to the purpose for its existence.

We Have a Comment Contest Winner!

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Actually, we have two of them–a tie. No, I’m not going to say, “In that case, nobody wins.” Nope–I’ll send out two First Prizes. Come to think of it, there weren’t any second or third prizes. Anyhow, both comments are recorded as having come in at the same time, so that’s two winners. They will receive each a signed copy of one of my books, their choice of title.

Way down the road I’ll have another contest for Comment No. 4,000 (this was for 3,000). I hope it doesn’t take a whole year, this time.

Don’t be expecting really lavish prizes like mink stoles, or new cars, or rings of power. I need to sell a lot more books before I can move up into that neighborhood.

To everyone who posted comments–thank you, and keep ’em coming! 🙂