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All Right, We’ll Have Another Comment Contest

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G’day, faithful readers! Byron the Quokka here–and Phoebe has convinced me to start another comment contest, and Lee wasn’t sure about it, so I said, “Leave it up to me! It shouldn’t be too hard to get this blog humming again.”

As of just now, we have 61,981 comments. We shall set the next target at 64,000, in memory of the famous $64,000 question. And the prize will be–

Sixty-four thousand dollars! [Blood-curdling scream offstage.] Poor chap, he just can’t take a joke. He won’t even offer a bicycle for a prize. So of course it’ll be an autographed copy of his new book, His Mercy Endureth Forever.

Now, how long will it take us to rack up some 2,000 more comments? Search me! But as long as we have fun doing it, who cares?

We have half a year left to achieve the blog’s first-ever 12,000-view month, which we’ve only just missed twice already.

I wonder if we could offer a scholarship to Quokka University. That’ll pack ’em in. But I’ll have to wait till he calms down a bit before I mention that.

Prizes Sent!

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Just to let you know: Lee has sent out the comment contest prizes to “Watchman” and Ina. I don’t know what the holdup was, they’re only books. Meanwhile, behind me there’s another one of those bicycles that somebody left just standing there, obviously they don’t want it–what a swell prize that would make! I have also suggested that maybe the winner ought to win a boat, but he won’t listen.

P.S.–Some readers want to know why I’m called Byron the Quokka, when I live on Rottnest Island with all the other quokkas. It would be like calling some guy who lives in New York Alfie the Human.

Well, crikey–how would you like to have a middle name like “the”? I can’t answer the question and it would only exasperate me to try. Let some mysteries remain mysteries!


Zero Comments (I Warned Him!)

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What if they gave a comment contest and nobody commented? Huh?

told Lee he’d better get those prizes shipped out. I warned him. But did he listen? Oh, no, that’s only Byron the Quokka talkin’–no need to listen to him!

This is exactly how the Trojan War started…

Finally! We Have a Winner

Snap a selfie with the friendliest fauna the quokkas on rottnest ...

This rose is for Ina, who has posted Comment No. 60,000 and thereby won the comment contest. Congratulations!

As soon as we get our copies of His Mercy Endureth Forever, we’ll mail an autographed copy of it to Ina, all the way out there in Scotland. We have heard that there are no quokkas in Scotland. I saw Rob Roy on TV once, and there were no quokkas in it. I could hardly believe my eyes.

On behalf of Lee and Patty, I, Byron the Quokka, hereby award Ina her award.

And that takes care of comment contests for a while. Next stop, 65,000.

Will We Have a Winner Today?

Australia, Curious Quokka With Bicycle On Rottnest Island Stock ...

Well, here I am with another one of those nice bicycles that people leave standing around, obviously they don’t want them–but just try getting Lee to offer a bike as the prize in one of his comment contests.

G’day! I’m Byron the Quokka, we are shooting for 60,000 comments, and all we need is… drum roll, please!…just nine more! We should get there today, unless the viewership for today turns into a total disaster.

Who will post the dramatic 60,000th comment? It could be you! And then you’d win an autographed book.

I trust I’ll be back before long with the announcement of a winner!

73 Comments to Go!

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G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with just 73 comments to go toward that 60,000-comment milestone–and a winner in our current comment contest.

I thought it might be nice to make a boat the prize, but Lee is still thinking in terms of an autographed copy of Bell Mountain No. 12, His Mercy Endureth Forever.

His Mercy Endureth Forever

It’s taking a long time to get this book printed, I guess because everything’s been slowed down by The Great Quarantine Etc. We still owe a copy to “Watchman,” who won the last comment contest. If Mercy still hasn’t been printed by the time we reach 60,000, you can ask for an earlier book in the series. We’re out of Bell Mountain though, so don’t ask for the first book. To see them all, go to the home page and click “Books.” I don’t know how anybody can resist that giant hyena, though. We don’t have those on Rottnest Island–which is probably a good thing.

Well, one more blog post this afternoon, and then we’ll do some editing of No.13, The Wind from Heaven.

So Where’s the Comments?

Quokka | Of course I find the angry quokka... | Pursuedbybear | Flickr

G’day–or not so good, dependin’ how you look at it. Byron the Quokka here, getting blamed because I’m in charge of the comment contest and there ain’t a single comment yet today. Honestly! Some of the other quokkas are so impatient! I don’t see any of them volunteering to take my place, do I?

Plus I’m trying to create a world-class university here on Rottnest Island, and who has time for comments on a blog? Only me, it seems!

I must remind all readers that we are taking comments from humans only. There’s this wombat named Goose (go figure!) who thinks we all want to sit around reading his lame attempts at crepuscularities (“Where is a wombat womb at?”–crikey, not even original!), so he’s good for about 30 comments a day, all of them deleted.

Any road, let’s see what you humans have to say!

Only 500 Comments to Go!

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G’Day! Byron the Quokka here–and we’ve only got 500 comments left to go to reach 60,000,

And here I am, standing in front of a couple of lovely bicycles which people have just left there, beats me why. The winner of the contest will get an autographed copy of Lee’s new book, His Mercy Endureth Forever… instead of a nice bicycle. But no one listens to me.

But the poor divvil has enough on his plate today without me bothering him about bicycles.

Quokka U. Progress Report

Meet the Quokka

(While Lee and Pat make vain and futile efforts to buy basic household goods, turn we now unto Quokka University…)

G’day, folks! Byron the Quokka here–at Quokka University, no less, where exciting things are happening. We’re shooting for Sept. 31 as the official opening of our first semester–so sign up now! “Ipso loquitur mannimota,” is our motto.

We have signed up Violet Crepuscular’s former high school boyfriend, Otto Claptrap, to give a series of special lectures on topics of compelling intellectual interest. Here are some of the titles:

*”Whose fault is it if you get blown up after walking onto property clearly posted as a mine field?”

*”Why do people go on cruise ships when they’re just going to do the same things they could have done on land?”

*”Is dinosaur soft tissue edible? If so, who’s eating it?”

*”Why am I lecturing to a bunch of quokkas and other marsupials?”

Meanwhile, someone is tugging my tail about the comment contest. Hey, lay off! I can’t make readers comment, can I? Caw, it’s as the spirit moves ’em, isn’t it?

Last I looked, there were less than a thousand comments to go to No. 60,000, a major milestone. But I can’t run a contest and track down Mr. Claptrap at the same time. I had to negotiate all his fees, y’know. Whatever else you say about him, at least he’s cheap!

A Thousand Comments to Go!

Celebrating quokka's birthday at Rottnest Island - 91.7 The Wave

G’day! Byron the Quokka here–and I only just noticed we have 59,000 comments!

The goal is 60,000. That’s a big milestone, and whoever posts Comment No. 60,000 will win an autographed copy of Bell Mountain No. 12, His Mercy Endureth Forever.

So there are just a thousand comments to go, in this comment contest that I’m supposed to be running. How long will it take to get there? I keep telling Lee it’d happen a lot faster if he offered a different kind of prize–I mean, is a boat that bad an idea?

We could offer a scholarship to Quokka University, if we gave out any degrees and if we knew how much it ought to cost to go there. Meanwhile, a boat’s a great idea. But I only work here, I don’t get to decide.

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