Only a Thousand Comments Left to Go!

G’day! Byron the Quokka here–and pardon me for eating my breakfast while I deliver this announcement; but if I don’t chow down on this crunchy yellow leaf, someone else’ll get it.

We have now more than 79,000 comments in the bin, and we’re shooting for that glorious milestone of 80,000. This time last year, we would’ve easily collected 1,000 more comments in half a month. This year? Well, let’s see!

The lucky winner who posts Comment No. 80,000 will win either an autographed book or one of those cool T-shirts that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.” The King of Rottnest Island wears one.

Ah! And how do you suppose he got to be king of Rottnest Island in the first place? Eh? He won a bloomin’ comment contest, that’s how! He was universally admired for that: everybody demanded he be king.

All comments are eligible, except for the following: comments abusive to anyone else at this site, f-bombs and other profane expressions, ads thinly disguised as comments–which means someone thinks we must be really stupid–and comments just too dopey to bother with. Beyond that, anything goes.

Don’t Forget the Comment Contest!

The Quokka has to be the most photogenic animal on the planet! Photo via  Rottnest Island | Niedliche tiere, Tiere, Süße tiere

Crikey, here I am again! I guess if you’re a quokka and your name is Byron, you can forget about getting any rest around here.

I’m here to remind you we’ve got a comment contest going, shooting for that milestone of 80,000 comments. We currently have just over 78,800, which means we have less than 1,200 comments to go. Come on, everybody, saddle up!

Ordinarily the winner would get an autographed book or a really cool T-shirt, but I thought we needed something a bit more exciting.

See that nice ocean in the background? How would you like to win a ship to sail upon that ocean? But you can’t see the ship I’m talking about–because it’s under the water!

That’s right–you could win a submarine! Just be the lucky blighter who posts Comment No. 80,000. Feel just like Captain Nemo! Only without the giant squids, of course.

Comment Contest: Win a Term as President!

Palace of Versailles to host huge rave this summer and it's easy to go for  cheap - Mirror Online

How would you like to be president of the Untied States–with absolute power to do any flamin’ thing you want?

Well, now the exalted rank of POTUS can be yours… if you’re the lucky reader who enters Comment No. 80,000 on this blog!

Yes, we have it on unimpeachable authority (heh-heh!) that the Constitution is soon to be retired, with the country governed from now on by whatever Mandate pops into a president’s or governor’s head. Imagine the fabulousness of handing down your first Mandate! And everybody has to obey it–or else! “From now on all doorknobs must have smiley faces on them!” “All persons whose names begin with R, report to The Camp!” “Odd-numbered days are now Barack Obama Day!” I mean, you could go just complete crazy…

Best of all, you won’t even have to be elected! Just win the comment contest. And the next thing you know, you’ll be moving into a Presidential Palace (just like the one in the picture!) and getting set to Change The World!

Comment Contest–It’s On!

71 QUOKKAS!!!!!! ideas in 2021 | quokka, happy animals, cute animals

Never let it be said a quokka backed away from a challenge!

We are shooting for 80,000 comments on this blog, and we currently have a few more than 78,500. Only 1,500 to go!

Byron the Quokka here, launching our latest comment contest. Whoever posts No. 80,000 will win an autographed book or this cool T-shirt that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.”

Back in December, it would’ve taken just two weeks to run up 1,500 comments. Well, Big Tech has put a stop to that.

But imagine how amazed and disappointed, how emotionally crushed they’ll be, if they see that level of readership returning to this blog. They’ll wish their mothers never met their fathers.

So come on, sound off! All comments are eligible except for abuse of fellow readers, f-bombs, or stuff that’s just too stupid to publish. Otherwise, anything goes!

What Do We Have to Do to Grab You?

Australia, curious Quokka with bicycle on Rottnest Island Stock Photo -  Alamy

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, sizing up a bicycle. This one would need some modifications before I could use it, but for a human it’d be just right!

I am trying to pump up the view numbers for this blog; but you know Lee, he’s too cheap to give out bicycles.

Well, I’m convinced we have to offer much fancier prizes in all our contests. Like this, for instance:

Pharoah's Chariots

Yes! A genuine ancient Egyptian war chariot, built out of genuine spare parts, ideal for making your neighbors physically sick with envy! Or for starting a war.

Don’t mind the illustration, I already know it’s hokey. Crikey–how are you supposed to drive the chariot and shoot arrows at the same time? Even on Rottnest Island we know an ancient Egyptian war chariot had two blokes in it, one to fight and one to drive.

The chariot we want to offer as a comment contest prize has room enough for two quokkas. And did I mention it comes with the horses? That’s right, we provide the horses, too. None of this “horses not included” scam!

I don’t know where so many readers have scurried off to, these last few days, but I do know this: You can’t outrun a chariot!

Win a Ziggurat!

The Great Ziggurat of Ur | Ancient Origins

G’day! Byron the Quokka here. You know I’m always telling Lee, “You’ve got to learn to think big!” And of course he doesn’t listen.

So we’re going ahead without him, and offering a prize that no one else would dare to offer–your own personal ziggurat! Yeah, just like the ones they had in ancient Mesopotamia. And talk about big! You’ll need plenty of room for this baby.

This fantastic prize will go to whoever posts the first comment after the 500th view of this day; and we’ve got about, oh, 450 to go, so giddee-up!

You can’t even imagine how jealous your neighbors will be as your ziggurat takes shape and begins to loom over them like a mountain of doom!

Note: Some assembly required.

Beverly, Where Are You?

933 Quokka Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

Ahoy! Hallooo! Where are you?

Beverly won the comment contest two nights ago, but we haven’t heard from her. Yo, mate! How are we going to send you your prize, if we don’t know where you are? You can win an autographed book or a T-shirt, your choice. But if we don’t hear from you, what’s a quokka to do?

Confound it, this was a big comment contest! It deserved fireworks. 75,000 comments–not bad, not bad! But I’m up on stage with the Oscar, as it were, and the star has never come out so I can give it to her.

Oh, fap… Beverly, you’ve won! So let’s hear from you already.

We Have a Winner!

Quokkas are the cutest animals ever! | Cute animals, Happy animals, Quokka

Well, we couldn’t quite do it by midnight last night–Lee made a mess of it–but a few minutes after midnight, Beverly came along to win the common contest–and we now have over 75,000 comments here!

As you can see from the picture, all of us here on Rottnest Island are celebrating.

G’day! Byron the Quokka here: and the business at hand is to congratulate Beverly and find out which prize she wants–the autographed book or the T-shirt that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost –Lee Duigon.” (Note: We’re out of Vol. 1, Bell Mountain, so don’t ask for that one.) We’ll also need your mailing address, Beverly. You can email that to Lee if you’d rather not put it up here for everyone to see. Not that “everyone” reads this blog… *sigh*

Thank you, one and all, for your comments–going back ten years now–and for sticking with us even as Big Tech tries to cut us off from our audience.

And there’ll be another comment contest–and maybe even other kinds of contests–in the future. So please keep clicking this site!

And no, I am not going to scold anybody to click the Like button. Waddaya think this is–YouTube?

 

Comment Contest Winner?

See the source image

Oh, fap. I seem to have won my own comment contest. It seems the comments stopped coming, oh, seven hours ago and we only got up to 74,999. And then Mr. Stupid forgot and added a comment himself.

I disqualify myself from winning the contest.

Forty minutes to midnight. Anybody out there, in one of those time zones where it’s, like, already tomorrow morning, or still this evening?

Come on–one more comment. You’ll win a prize.

Let’s Do It Today!

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, to tell you we have 74,974 comments–which means we only need 26 more–just 26 more!–to reach that glorious 75,000-comment milestone.

We don’t really need all day to round up another 26 comments, do we?

And the winner gets a dandy prize, your choice–an autographed copy of one of Lee’s books, or this cool red-and-white T-shirt that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost”: a guaranteed conversation piece.

Let’s bring in those comments, boys ‘n’ girls, and show the Big Tech censors that they can’t make us cry uncle!