What Do We Have to Do to Grab You?

Australia, curious Quokka with bicycle on Rottnest Island Stock Photo -  Alamy

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, sizing up a bicycle. This one would need some modifications before I could use it, but for a human it’d be just right!

I am trying to pump up the view numbers for this blog; but you know Lee, he’s too cheap to give out bicycles.

Well, I’m convinced we have to offer much fancier prizes in all our contests. Like this, for instance:

Pharoah's Chariots

Yes! A genuine ancient Egyptian war chariot, built out of genuine spare parts, ideal for making your neighbors physically sick with envy! Or for starting a war.

Don’t mind the illustration, I already know it’s hokey. Crikey–how are you supposed to drive the chariot and shoot arrows at the same time? Even on Rottnest Island we know an ancient Egyptian war chariot had two blokes in it, one to fight and one to drive.

The chariot we want to offer as a comment contest prize has room enough for two quokkas. And did I mention it comes with the horses? That’s right, we provide the horses, too. None of this “horses not included” scam!

I don’t know where so many readers have scurried off to, these last few days, but I do know this: You can’t outrun a chariot!

Win a Ziggurat!

The Great Ziggurat of Ur | Ancient Origins

G’day! Byron the Quokka here. You know I’m always telling Lee, “You’ve got to learn to think big!” And of course he doesn’t listen.

So we’re going ahead without him, and offering a prize that no one else would dare to offer–your own personal ziggurat! Yeah, just like the ones they had in ancient Mesopotamia. And talk about big! You’ll need plenty of room for this baby.

This fantastic prize will go to whoever posts the first comment after the 500th view of this day; and we’ve got about, oh, 450 to go, so giddee-up!

You can’t even imagine how jealous your neighbors will be as your ziggurat takes shape and begins to loom over them like a mountain of doom!

Note: Some assembly required.

Beverly, Where Are You?

933 Quokka Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

Ahoy! Hallooo! Where are you?

Beverly won the comment contest two nights ago, but we haven’t heard from her. Yo, mate! How are we going to send you your prize, if we don’t know where you are? You can win an autographed book or a T-shirt, your choice. But if we don’t hear from you, what’s a quokka to do?

Confound it, this was a big comment contest! It deserved fireworks. 75,000 comments–not bad, not bad! But I’m up on stage with the Oscar, as it were, and the star has never come out so I can give it to her.

Oh, fap… Beverly, you’ve won! So let’s hear from you already.

We Have a Winner!

Quokkas are the cutest animals ever! | Cute animals, Happy animals, Quokka

Well, we couldn’t quite do it by midnight last night–Lee made a mess of it–but a few minutes after midnight, Beverly came along to win the common contest–and we now have over 75,000 comments here!

As you can see from the picture, all of us here on Rottnest Island are celebrating.

G’day! Byron the Quokka here: and the business at hand is to congratulate Beverly and find out which prize she wants–the autographed book or the T-shirt that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost –Lee Duigon.” (Note: We’re out of Vol. 1, Bell Mountain, so don’t ask for that one.) We’ll also need your mailing address, Beverly. You can email that to Lee if you’d rather not put it up here for everyone to see. Not that “everyone” reads this blog… *sigh*

Thank you, one and all, for your comments–going back ten years now–and for sticking with us even as Big Tech tries to cut us off from our audience.

And there’ll be another comment contest–and maybe even other kinds of contests–in the future. So please keep clicking this site!

And no, I am not going to scold anybody to click the Like button. Waddaya think this is–YouTube?

 

Comment Contest Winner?

See the source image

Oh, fap. I seem to have won my own comment contest. It seems the comments stopped coming, oh, seven hours ago and we only got up to 74,999. And then Mr. Stupid forgot and added a comment himself.

I disqualify myself from winning the contest.

Forty minutes to midnight. Anybody out there, in one of those time zones where it’s, like, already tomorrow morning, or still this evening?

Come on–one more comment. You’ll win a prize.

Let’s Do It Today!

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, to tell you we have 74,974 comments–which means we only need 26 more–just 26 more!–to reach that glorious 75,000-comment milestone.

We don’t really need all day to round up another 26 comments, do we?

And the winner gets a dandy prize, your choice–an autographed copy of one of Lee’s books, or this cool red-and-white T-shirt that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost”: a guaranteed conversation piece.

Let’s bring in those comments, boys ‘n’ girls, and show the Big Tech censors that they can’t make us cry uncle!

Urgent! The Last 100 Views

Here's Your Weekly Dose Of Cute! (#42) | Cute animals, Cute funny animals,  Cute baby animals

(Special bulletin from Byron the Quokka, whose job it is to keep up with these things.)

G’day! Big news about the current comment contest–the push for 75,000 comments.

We have less than 100 comments to go, to reach that milestone! Do we really need all week to come up with 100 comments?

The winner gets an autographed copy of one of Lee’s books–or a cool red-and-white T-shirt that says, “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.” You get to choose.

Waddaya say we wrap this up in just another two days–or even less? Show the Big Tech censors that they can’t stop us!

I cannot wait to hand out this prize!

Comment Contest: Less Than 300 to Go

shirt

The censors are hacking away at this blog, but we’re still here and still running a comment contest, struggling our way to Comment No. 75,000.

If you post the winning comment, you’ll we one of these unique T-shirts in glorious MAGA red and white, with a quote you can’t read in this crummy picture but which looks great in real life: “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost –Lee Duigon.”

Or you can win an autographed copy of one of my Bell Mountain books.

Anyone can play, anyone can win, and all comments are eligibile, EXCEPT… comments abusive to anyone else on this site, or which contain profanity, or which are just too, too inane for words.

Come on! Only 300 to go! Let’s wrap this up in a few days! Show those Big Tech censors we’ve got some fight left in us still.

We Can’t Give These Shirts Away!

shirt

These unbelievably cool T-shirts are prizes in our current comment contest. The goal is 75,000 comments, we have just under 500 to go–and today there’s not a single comment here. Not yet, at least.

I know this is a lousy photo. What it says on the shirt (glorious MAGA red with white lettering) is, “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost –Lee Duigon.” Wear it to the next BLM rally and get physically assaulted!

I’m just itching to give these out as prizes, but where are the comments?

The contest is open to everyone, and almost anything goes… except profanity, personal attacks on othe readers, or comments just so hopelessly stupid that they cry out for deletion.

If you don’t want the shirt, you can win an autographed book. Your choice!

Win a DIY Statue of Mervyn Puncho!

Ronaldo statue: Sculptor Emanuel Santos takes another shot at bust - BBC  News

Who says we never have any good prizes around here?

Yes, it’s Mervyn Puncho, a legendary celebrity who needs no introduction, so I won’t give him one. And if you can win the current comment contest, he’s all yours!

True, he’s missing from the neck down. You’ll have to sculpt the rest of him yourself. Won’t that be fun? Or you can just mount the head on the hood of your car and make your neighbors jealous.

So let’s go! We’re looking for 75,000 comments, we have less than 1,000 to go, it’s taking forever and if Mervyn Puncho can’t speed things up, then I give up.