Tag Archives: comment contest

A Quick Word from Byron the Quokka

G’day! That’s my friend Quimby, allowing tourists to play with him; but if you watch carefully, you’ll see me and my cousins, Nestor and Francesca, in the background checking out the bicycle.

Remember, we now have a comment contest going, with 47,000 as the goal. Whoever posts comment No. 47,000 wins a fantastic prize. I think it ought to be a bicycle. I keep telling Lee that his readers would think very highly of him if he mailed one of them a bicycle.

Well, we’ve got 45,150 comments now, and I want to prove that nobody can run a comment contest better than me–you really do need a quokka for this kind of work.


Important Announcement! (from Byron the Quokka)

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G’day, it’s me, Byron the Quokka, with a super-important announcement!

We now have just over 45,000 comments on this blog, and Lee says I can start another comment contest as long as I don’t promise that the winner gets a bicycle.

So OK, new comment contest, with the finish line at 47,000, which means that the next contest will be for No. 50,000, a real milestone–and those dumb  wombats said we’d never make it! But first this contest. Whoever posts Comment No. 47,000 wins the prize.

I don’t know what he’s got against giving away bicycles. [Editor’s Note: Byron, it wasn’t ours to give! How many times do I have to tell you that?] So I guess an autographed copy of his new book, The Temptation–and if you’ve already got it, you can ask for a different book.

I don’t know. A bag of pretzels and a can of Foster’s, that might really get people hopping…

And by the way, hopping is better than walking. Ask any quokka.


And the Winner Is…!

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Yes, we have a comment contest winner! Byron the Quokka kept tugging on my pants-leg to tell me: “And the winner, posting Comment No. 44,000, is Phoebe!” (That’s his cousin, Eliza Williams, in the background. She is the only quokka with a surname.)

Phoebe, you have won an autographed copy of The Temptation (Bell Mountain No. 11), so please email me your mailing address so I can send it out. Byron wants to hand-deliver it, but I had to tell him no, that’s not on–first I’d have to fly him to New Jersey from Australia. We will just have to rely on the U.S. Postal Service.

Shoot! The contest is over. I was enjoying it. Well, we’ll just have to start a new one. Does 47,000 comments sound unreasonable? That’ll give me time to think of a really gaudy prize for No. 50,000.

To all of you who’ve played, thank you, it was fun, and we’ll do it again.

P.S.–Going down the stretch, this contest was very, very close! So if you were one of those readers who just missed, you’ll get a chance to try again.


Countdown to a Contest Winner (plus Byron’s Baby Picture)

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Byron the Quokka is so excited about the impending climax of our comment contest, he has trotted out his baby pictures. That’s him in the pouch. His mother is very proud of him for growing up to be the kind of quokka who can run a comment contest. It turns out quokkas are very found of comment contests and always seem to have one going among themselves.

Anyway, Byron predicts that we’ll have a winner today, before suppertime–so I’d better keep my eyes peeled. It was 87 degrees here yesterday, and now today it’s in the 40s again, so I don’t feel like I’d be much good for anything more challenging than waiting for someone to win the comment contest.

As Byron never tires of saying, “It could be you!”


Comment Contest: Only 50 Left to Go!

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Byron the Quokka has found another bicycle which he wants to offer as the prize to whoever wins our current comment contest. Sorry, Byron, it’s not our bike to give away. The best we can do for a prize is an autographed copy of my new book, The Temptation.

At the moment we have 43,950 comments–just 50 shy of 44,000, just 50 shy of a winner.

The contest is open to everyone, and all comments are eligible except for the following: any comments abusive to anyone else on this site; comments containing profanity or blasphemy; commercials thinly disguised as comments (shame on you!); and comments that are just too inane to be published. Other than that, anything goes.

I’ve got to hand it to Byron: he’s done a good job of running this contest. Who knew quokkas could be such capable administrators? But I don’t think he understands how expensive it would be for me to be giving away bicycles. Money does not loom large in any quokka’s way of life.


In Case You Don’t Win…

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If by some statistical misfortune you don’t win the comment contest, there’s always this.

For less money than you’d pay for an order of steamed pork dumplings at the Pink Lotus–and they’re very nice dumplings, I hasten to add–you can get a Kindle copy of my new Bell Mountain novel, The Temptation. And if you’re really feeling like a sport, you can get it in paperback.

What would happen if all thousand of this blog’s subscribers bought the book, all at once?

Well, I would run outside and do a cartwheel, at risk of splitting my pants, my publishers would jump for joy, and leftids would feel downhearted. And a thousand people would have a nice book to read.

So much for the commercial.


Comment Contest: Unbearable Excitement

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Byron the quokka is about ready to jump out of his skin with excitement. Well, he does take these things to heart. Ever since I made him in charge of the comment contest, he can hardly sit still.

There are a mere 127 comments left to go before someone posts No. 44,000 and wins the contest–and an autographed copy of The Temptation. Byron keeps checking because he wants to make the announcement. Unfortunately, the bicycle he wanted to give away as a prize belonged to someone else who has since gone home with it.

Everyone can play and all comments are eligible, with only these exceptions: comments abusive of anybody on this site; comments containing blasphemy or f-bombs; commercials disguised as comments; and, of course, comments too blindingly stupid to be published. Other than that, anything goes!


Comment Contest: Less than 500 to Go

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Byron the Quokka is concerned that the comments aren’t coming in as fast as he anticipated. So he has decided to up the ante.

Now the prize will be that wonderful bicycle you see in the picture behind him. I don’t know how a quokka goes about obtaining a bicycle. I don’t see how Byron’s feet can reach the pedals.

But whoever posts Comment No. 44,000 will win either an autographed copy of my new book, The Temptation, or that really nifty bike that somehow fell into Byron the Quokka’s opportunistic little paws. “The wheels actually turn!” he claims. We currently have 43,539 comments, so that leaves a mere 461 to go.

So come on, out there–think of something witty, pithy, or unforgettable to say and post it as a comment!

Just hurry up and do it before whoever that bike really belongs to shows up and takes it away.

I think there’s a future, though–don’t you?–in offering other people’s property as prizes in my contests. There’s gotta be a political theory that goes along with that…


Now We Are 70

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And the joke’s on me, ’cause I don’t have life insurance!

Anyhow, today I’ve made it to threescore and ten. It’d be nice to be working on Bell Mountain No. 13, only the weather has not been cooperating and I don’t have but the tiniest hints of what that book might be about. So I propose to eat brownies, smoke a cigar, and indulge myself in dinosaur videos while ducking the nooze. I’ve already heard more of that than I wanted to hear today.

I was going to go to the Y and celebrate by playing basketball; but with my finger in the shape it’s in, I dassn’t go anywhere near a basketball, One false move, and it’s an out-of-body experience for the Leester. I’ll just have to wait till I’m a little older before I play again.

Most important: Today’s the day our friend and sister Evelyn gets interviewed by NPR about her long opposition to same-sex fake marriage, and we all ought to be praying for her. May the Holy Spirit give her words to speak, words of power and conviction–because only God knows who might be listening. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

So I’ll be around all day, checking in from time to time, hoping to see a great big spike in my book sales [laughs hysterically], exchanging pleasantries… and closely monitoring the progress of our present comment contest! I can’t leave it all to Byron the Quokka; he’s so easily distracted. And of course the hymn shop remains open all day.

See you in a bit.


Remember the Comment Contest!

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I have enlisted the services of Byron the Quokka, pictured above, to remind everybody that we’ve got a comment contest going. Not much action on this blog today!

Byron says we currently have 43,447 comments, which means we are only 553 short of a winner. His arithmetic is impeccable. Yes, whoever posts Comment No. 44,000 will win an autographed copy of The Temptation–unless I can come up with something gaudier: maybe one of those supermarket robots that wanders around the aisles looking for spills.

All readers are eligible to play, and all comments are eligible except for the following: remarks abusive to anyone else on this site; comments containing profanity or blasphemy; ads thinly disguised as comments, as if we couldn’t see through that; or comments simply too inane, jejeune, or vacuous to bother with. Other than that, anything goes.

If you’ve already won a contest, don’t be shy–try to win again. Just don’t make a habit of it. I mean, if the same person wins all the time, that could make me look bad…


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