“Call in the forensics team!”
Living proof that college actually makes you stupid! When they’re not mistaking a Catholic priest for a Ku Klux Klanner, college “students” freak out over the ordinary litter found on campus sidewalks.
That’s when the kampus kops swing into action, *Investigating* little bits of trash that might constitute a lynching threat. God knows what they’d make of a discarded Lifesavers wrapper. Does it have White Supremacist cooties on it?
Complete the sentence and win a tin foil hat: “I believe everybody ought to go to college because __________.”
Meanwhile, at the Looniversity of Portland, if you see any kind of “interaction of intolerance” that makes you feel just a teeny bit uncomfortable, they’re advising you to… call the police!
Kampus Kops battling microaggressions. What a thriller that’d make.
“Ooh-ooh, officer, I just saw somebody tearing up an American flag and it made me feel soooo uncomfortable–!”
No, no. They’ll only act if it was the Rainbow Gay Rights Weird Sex Flag that you saw somebody disrespecting.
Defund the colleges now. All of them.