We has helded a Emergintsy Meating tooday of our Stoodint ((see! i rememmber how to spel it!!)) Soviet to maik Up “new” Roules for fiting The Corny Vyrus hear at Collidge!!! Hear “are” sumb of our Smartist New roules!!!
*Masques yiu Must ware themb “at” al Tymes,, evin wen yor’e Eeting!!!!! No moar taiking “the” masques off Ever!!!!!!!!!!
*Frumb nhow On yiu has got to “stay” at Leests Siks Feeet Aprat wile hasing Sex!!!
*Frumb nhow On yiu has to ware At Leest twoo (2!) Shurts and threee (3!) shoos at Al Tymes!!!
Thare “are” “a” Lot moar of themb but i has fourgot waht thay “are”!!! My pen it runned oaut of Inc wile i was “trying” to rite themb daown and i cuddnt rite “a” Noat to no boddy to borro thare Pen!!!!
Theeze hear Meshures thay wil Keeep us Saife fromb the Vyris!!!!!!!!!!
I seen a cool Moovie yeasterday it “was” “on” TV and It was caled L. Sid butt i misssed “the” frist fiew Minnits so i never cood figgre Out witch One was Sid!
In thiss hear Moovie thay hadded the New Grean Deel!!! i cood tel becose Noboddy thay hased no Cars!! Insted thay road arownd “on” Hoarses and thay wared Mettal Cloathes and thay got Rid “of” Elecktritcity tooo!!!! I aslo nevver fowned Out “ware” this was Sapposed To Be butt it “was” Some Countree ware thay got the New Grean Deel!!! i did wunder wye thay Didnt has No Buysickles!
Thare was a awffle Lot “of” Fiting “in” This Moovie,, ovviusly thay wher Fiting to keeep The New Grean Deel;, thare must Of Bin peeple tryin To Go back to Jett Plains and Air Condisioners!!! The good gyes like Sid thay Must Of won becose thare wasnt No Cars “in” the “hole” Moovie!!!
I whish i knowed ware al This Stuff it hapened!!!! i tryed To gess witch Countree it was “bye” Looking at the billdings and Thay looked lyke The kined of Billdings “that” thay Has in Arkinsaws!! and aslo The peple thay looked lyke Arkinsaws peeple!!! but thay was al speeking Inglish so mayby i amb Rong and It “is” Somb otther Countree i heered thay speek Inglish “In” Marzipan oar sumb plaice lyke That!!!
Wel i got To Go nhow,,, we “Are” has a spatial meting “of” “the” Stodent Soviet to maik a rool hear at Collidge that Evvry Thing that gets sayed by “anny One” butt Us it is hat speach!!!!
Heer at Collidge we has Discuppered “that” Thincking “is” jist anether fourm “of” Racism,, and eevin Werse, it herts Yore Brane!!! So us at the Stodent Soviet we has past a roole that fromb Nhow on thare woont be No moar Thincking hear at collidge!!!!
And besydes,, us Interllecturals we dosnt has to Thinck at alll!! So we nevver do it!!! All we has got to Do is wattevver The Centrul Camitty thay says we got to Do!! This hear it “is” Reel Jenuwine Smartness becose “the” Party it is nevver Rong!!!!!
Our Stodent Soviet Party Bosss she toled us “how elss do yiu spose Trans Gender it got Inventid?? If peple was Thincking, it “nevver” woodve got Inventid!!! And that gose for Evvry Thing that “is” “in” Socile Jutstus!! And” she sayed aslo “al that evver Got dun bye Thincking is jist ownly Opresstion and the Paytree Arky!!”
So we “are” goingto Ograniyze Antie Thincking Squawds to go al round “the” Campas to checke on peeple and Sea iff thay “are” Thincking and iff thay Are,, whel—whatch Out!!!!!! thay whill be sari!!
Reely this heer it Is Not teereny,, it “is” foar thare Own Good!!! Becose Settled Scyance it prooves that it dont taik That Mutch Thincking to putt Hoales in yore Brane!!! And then watt”s Lefted over it whil Fall Out!!! The good nooze is iff it All falls Out then yiu woont be Doing “no” Moar Thincking. Thiss is watt hapened to Addem Shift oncet and “he” been All Rihght evver Sincet!!!
Damb that stopid Biggit Lee and damb “that” Feeby too!!! Thay sayed yiu “cood” eet Fligh Payper it wood “be” “jist” Like Frentch Frys and i beleaved themb so i eated Some AND NOW I CANT TALLK and it “is” Alll thare Fawlt!!!!
The Stodent Soviet it was maiking “a” Liszt of wirds no boddy wil be aloud to Say becose themb wirds thay “are” Not Inclussave and aslo hat speach and thay was assking stodents to “Put” moar wirds “on” The liszt and then I red that stopid Stuph that lee and feeby thay writed abuot yiu “can” has Fligh Payper and it whil “be” Jist The saime as Frentch Frys AND NHOW AL MY TEETHS THAY ARE STICK TOGETTHER and my mowth it is Stuck Shutt!!!!!!!!!! and it hapened to Two otther membranes of the Stodent Soviet tooo thay cant tawk no more Ether!!!
Nhow no boddy thay evvir sayed “that” Inclusovniss it is eezy!! Thats wye we has to wirk “so” Harrd at It!! Well dambit i dont “know” watt to Do nhow!!! Yiu wood “think” a Interllectural lyke me I cood eazally figgure it out but i jist “Cant” get Un Stuck!!! This it is Horrabull!!!! and aslo i am feeling kynd of Sick!!
Finly i hadded to go “to the” Infirmerry and the Norse she sayed i wood has to put Baby Oyle in my mowth and wheight fore the gloo on the Fligh Payper to dezolve!! Watt a Awful time i hadded!!!!!!! But she says i wil come Un-glooed in anether cupple of Hours and than she “can” pull the Fligh Payper out!
Yiu jist Cant “trussed” any Thing yiu reed ennymoar!!
Waht a supprise i Got this weak! Wuld yiu beleave “it”? I has ben ellected to the Stodent Soviat!!! Like i dint even “know” thay was having a Ellection, but i gotted Two Rite-In Votes “and them” it was enuhgh to Pro-pell me “into” grateness!!
So whe haved our meeeting “Last” nihght and Our Cheef Comisar she sayed I “has got a” Challinge “for yiu;: we shuld auhght to come up whith” a New Socile Jutstus Thing that nobody at no Othar Collidge thay hasnt not done befour!” and we comed up whith a hole lot of idears but thay al beeen done somware Else “alreddy.” And she kept saying No, no, “yiu gots to Think of” som thing it is orginel!!! and yiu wuld be amayzed how Hard that is!!
Whe was intruppted for a minit by some racist in the audients he sayed No “wonder thay” call it A Looniversity!! So six of us we beet him up “and” sentintsed him to Sensertivity Traning that whill shut him “up” for a wile!
Wel whe was At It al nihght and hear it Is waht “whe finely” comed Up whith!!
Fromb now on it willl be The Stodent Sovite whe wil tell Evry Boddy who thay gots to has Secks whith and thay woont be aloud To Do It with no boddy Else! We will doo This “becose” thiss hear it is Waht is fare and thare willl only Be “Fareness” at this collidge anymore!!! Whe wil assine al The other “stodents” thare Secks Pratners fromb now on and yiu wil be Kicked Out of Collidge unles yiu has Secks whith who whe telll yiu to!!!
Whe are pritty sure No Other Collidge “thay has” done this yet and whe Cant weit to see al the Other Collidges follow suet!!!