Once you go down there, you can never come back up
Back in September some perky publicist pitched me a book “re-telling Bible stories without an angry God.” I didn’t think we needed anything like that. We’ve already gotten enough to incur a spiritual pollution. So I told them to get lost.
Would you believe it? He’s back! Back with another invitation to read and review this monstrosity. I mean, come on! “Gay lovers in the sanctuary cities of Sodom and Gomorrha”? Does this come with a barf bag, or do you have to provide your own?
Apparently my first refusal, months ago, struck the perky publicist as somehow ambiguous. So I guess I’ll have to try again.
No, no, no! Not if you put a gun to my head! I will not soil myself, I will not insult my own soul, by reading this toxic, heretical trash. And you’ve signed yourself up for a long, long stay at Club Hell, unless you repent now and tell the author you will not represent him anymore.
Personally, if it were up to me, I’d smite the pair of you with lightning and be done with it today: “So perish all who do the same!” You’re lucky the God you hate is much more merciful than I am.
But if He listens to me, he’d smite you.
