‘Why Are Liberals Not Happy?’ (2016)

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The funny thing about this is, I wrote it less than a month before the 2016 elections. *Batteries Not Included was still; president of a country he hates and wants to “transform,” and all the nooze media and all the polls told us Hillary Clinton had a better than 90% chance to be our next president.

And yet the libs weren’t happy!

Why Are Liberals Not Happy?

Hoom-hom… Well, we saw how unhappy they were after that election!

Now they’ve stolen the country right out from under us, and they’re still miserable. There’s just no pleasing them.

And we’d be insane to try.

I Am A Socail Justise Warier!

I has becume a Socail Justise Warier! and Let me tell you it istnt Easy! But al us interllecturals who is in Gender Studies we “got” to sine a Othe plejjing ourselfs to be Socail Justise Wariers and so I done it.

Now tooday the biggest Cause of Socail Justise it is Trans Gender Rihgjts so I put on a Dress that i borred from my prefesser’s Partnor and i went into the Wimmens Bathroom in one of the Dorms hear at the collidge and i set downe on the Urrinle. And than this hear Coed she come in and she seen me and she strated screemin Its a Monster, Yeow, a Monster!

Now i aks yiu, what for did she doo that? but Then i lookd in the mirrer and i reelized why she got so scared, it was my Moth Antenners that done it, they growin out of my fourhead and some peple thay think it looks weerd and scary, so thats what done it, thats whiy she thuhgjt i Was a Monster.

So now yiu seee how it can be hardd to be a Socail Justise Warier becose a Lot of ordinary dum peple thay dont unnerstand and i gess This Coed she didnt kno abuot this expearmint i am in, thay shootin me up with Moth Hormoans to try to get my Cromosomes to chanje from Male to Femail and we wil al “get” a Noble Priz for doing that. Wel nobboddy sayed bean a Socail Justise Warier it wuld be Easy! Good thing That Coed she didnt seee me eeting a pare of Jim sox erlier that wuld of reely scared her!