Dambit awll!!! Thare reely was Cat Hares in that Woke Co-Vidd Caik we hadded “last” weak,, “thare” Was lots “of” Cat Hares “in” It and i eated a hole Lot Of that caik and i Been has Hair Bawlls evry Day!!! jist lyke somb stopid Cat!!!!!!
Sombtymes “It Is” reeely harred To Be “a” Socile Jutstus Wirer,, nhow I cant Evin Eet jim sox whith-out “geting” anether Hare Bawll!! and i amb knot “the” ownly One!!! we has al has hairbawls!!!! and It Is “a” Big Shayme becose Pressadint Obomma he kneads “us” “to” Riot and do Protist stuph but itt Is So harred “to” brake shopp Whindows wile yiu “Are” hasing a hairbawlll!! Our hole Collidge we Are alll Sick!!!!! We tryed to has a meting “of” the Stoodint Soviet twoday And wee coodnt do it evry Boddy thay was Going eck-eck-eck all over!!
And thenn It got wurst!!!!!!!
Sumb guy he tolded us We cood “cure” Hare Bawlls by drinkin lots “of” hamb berger greece,, witch we beleaved and so somb “Of” us we tryed It “and” we coodnt Evin Pick “up” a brick let aloan Throwh It!!!!! Jist thinken Abuot it maiks me feeel Horrabull!!! I whish peeple thay wood “Be” moar Cairfull of waht thay Teeched us!!!!! How yiu goingto Be a Interllectural wen thay teeching Things witch maiks yiu evin Siccker???
We “are” supoased to got a Eczam too marrow in Nothing Studies and i jist amnt reddy F”or” it!!!!!!
Our Collidge it hased for A “long” time this heer “no good” Racist Maskott i think it was sposed “to be” a big Bugg and we caled our “teem” The Fihghting Lowcusts”” witch i nevver Under-stoood butt anyhow “it” was Racist so we hadded “To” get ridd “of” “it”!!
We hasnt got no more Teems becose “of” the Vyris and our teems thay all stinked annyway but we Stil kneed anether Maskott to re-plaice the Big Bugg so we hadded a Spatial Meating “of” the Stoodint Soviet twoday and gess wahtt?!? We commed up whith a branned New Maskott and that thare is his pictcher up Thare!!!!
Our new Maskott it is Hue-go Chavvez,:, it Was him whoo ternt Valenzuela intoo a Whirkers Parradice!!!!!!!!!! So fromb nhow On we wil caul Our Teems The Hue-go Chavvez Socile Jutstus Wirers Fihghting Fore “The” Whirkers!!!!!! Haow “is” Thatt for a Maskott?!?!
Butt naow we got to has New Teems and we doughnt whant “no” Racist or Sexist or By-Nary teems neether and evry boddy thay got Tired of whatching us looze at Foot Bawl and Swimbing and Hoola Hoooping and thay whant Teems of Sporets that we “are” good At!! Somb Boddy thay hadded a Idear fore Sincronyzed Crying and that sownded Pretty good!!!! and aslo a Play-Doh teem becose somb “of” us we “are” Exprats at that!!!
I cann jist heer the chears nhow!! “Go Go Hue-go Chavvez Socile Jutstus Wirers Fighting Fore The Wherkers Go-Go-Go Yeeeaaaah!!!!” And whith Non-By-Nary chearleeders tooo!!!
Pressadint Obomma he wood Be prowed “of” us!!!
We has done “a” Grate thing hear “at” The Stoodint Soviet tooday!!!
Fromb nhow On, evvry boddy hear “At” collidge thay Has “got to” sine a Lawyelty Oaf to Socile Jutstus Wirers!!!!! No acceptions aloud!!! and iff themb cristchins and consurffatives thay dont Want-to sine, well–! Thay cant staye in Collidge!!
This hear it “is” assolootly Brillent!!!! In jist a singgul Stroak,, we get ridd of Hate and In-jutstus and Appresstion and In-Equailitty and aslo Racism “and” Sexxism!!!
No one thay “whill” Be aloud ennymoar to has Bad Thawts!!!!!! Fromb nhow on all Thawts thay Must “Be” Socile Jutstus Thawts!! Thay has all reddy did This “at” Brhown Yoonavercity butt our Lawyelty Oaf it “is” Better then thares!!!!
And Wye “is” thatt, i heer yiu aks!?!? It is Becose at Our Collidge we “Are” goingto has a Humin Sackrafyce!!!!!!!! We “Are” aloud To Do This becose it is Socile Jutstus and Scyance and Socile Jutstus and Scyance thay are Awlyaws rihght!!!!! and we whill has “The” Sackrafyce as sooon as we Cach somb-one!!! Thay keeep Running Awhay and that Is so hatfull!! Anywhay we whill Cach somb-boddy and has the Sackrafyce at the Statchoo of Pressadint Obomma and Then we whill Get evvry Thing we whant!!!!!!!!!
Its goingto Be jist Grate! Yeasterday thay fyred All “the” Campas Poleece so thare woont “be” noboddy Arowned to stop us!!!!!!
Jist in caset Hillery she dont whant “to” Be Pressadint afftar all witch wuld Be “a” tradegy well now we “has” fowned somboddy amlost as goood!!!
Hank Johnson he “is the” Smartest guy in Congriss!! and “he” is The Ownly one whoo tells “the” Truth!!! thare is this iland caled Gwom or som thing “like” that,, it is “In” the Ocian and it “is” jist a Smawl Iland and the fashists and Donold Trumpt thay whant “to” Put like a millian Maurines thare so thay “can” attack The Peeples Repubic of Magnolia and Hank Johnson he Called Themb Out on it man he cawled themb out!!!!!! He is the ownly one in Congriss who sayed that iland it will Tip Over and Cap’s Eyes iff thay put “that menny” Maurines on it!!!
We disgussed it in the Stodent Soviet and now wee whant Hank Johnson four pressadint in case we cant has Hillery!! and aslo now we has got a Plan “how to” Saive the Contry from themb Red Staites ful “of” Knotsies!! Al we has to “Do” is get like a millian Socile Jutstus Wirers to go to a Red Staite rite thare in the Middel of it and Jump Up “and” down untill we make it tip Over and Cap’s Eyes!!! and that whill Be The “End” of that hole staite ful of Wite Stupramassists!!!! and than we jist go on To “another” Red Staite and make that one Tip Over and Cap’s Eyes tooo!!!!!! and whee keeep “doing” it untill thare is no moar Red Staites ownly Bluue Staites lefft!!!
I jist cant figgier “Out” how comb No Boddy thay thauhght of This soooner!!!
See that thare Piture?? That “is” a Carbin Mollycule and Carbin it is very very Bad!!
Wel hear at Collidge we is done somthing Abote it!! We haved a meting of the Stodent Soviet last “nihght” and we desided that Fromb Now On we are going “to” has A Carbin-Free Campas!!!!!
This it has bin thunk up “by” our Smartist Interllecturals!
Yes thare woont be no more Carbin aruond hear and thare whil be Punishmint for anny boddy Who brings anny Carbin onto The Campas!! Carbin it causses Globble Warming and Climbit Change! Evry stodent who sees a Carbin Mollycule on the sidewaulk or “on” the grass yiu has to Pick “it Up” and get ridd of it!! and we willl has Socile Jutstus Teems going alll aruond to Make “sure” yiu do!!!
This hear IT ‘IS’ THE VERY FRIST STEP TO HAS A CARBIN-FREE WHORLD!!! Only of coarse if Hillery she was pressadint like she shood be only Trumpt and the Russins thay coluted, wel we wood all reddy has a Carbin-Free “Americka”!!
We are reel exytid becose our Party Chair Wimmin she sayed probly The UN it whil quick pick “up” on this and set up Carbin-free Zoans evry ware!!!!! and we wil probbly get golden meddles or statchues of us!
So iff yiu “see” any “of” them Carbin Mollycule anny ware yiu bettar deestroy themb or else!!! Ore Socile Jutstus Teems thay meen bisniss!!!
Dont make us hert yiu!!
Don’t look at it too long! It’ll turn you into a racist.
Nowhere is safe from Social Justice Warriors. Not even fantasy.
It’s true that as a young man in the 1920s, H.P. Lovecraft was what some today would call a “racist.” In fact, he had little face-to-face contact with people in general, and had no opportunities to practice racism. Later on in his short life, he became a socialist. But I don’t hold his naivete and inexperience against him. The great fantasy writer knew very little of the real world.
Our friend “jessicafischerqueen” recently went into a local bookstore, looking for some collections of H.P. Lovecraft’s stories. There weren’t any on the shelves. It turned out that they kept the Lovecraft books under the counter, like pornography–because Lovecraft was “a racist.” So you shouldn’t read anything he wrote!
And you need Them to make your decisions for you! You couldn’t possibly read an H.P. Lovecraft horror story without being turned into a raging racist! You couldn’t possibly just ignore the writer’s occasional throwaway lines that wouldn’t pass muster today. Oh, no! Today you read The Case of Charles Dexter Ward; tomorrow you join the KKK.
Are you tired of Them making your decisions for you?
Here’s another one from my chess buddy and good friend, “jessicafischerqueen.” She’s been on a roll lately. Let ’em have it, Jess!
Necessary conditions to call yourself a democracy:
1. You actually need a real country, with borders and a government
2. Constitutionally protected free speech
3. The rule of law
The Social Justice Warrior Stalinist movement is violently opposed to all three. They don’t even try to hide it.
Hear at Collidge we alyaws looking “to” raze munny and funds! And our Stodent Soviet we taked over and neckst Thing “yiu” know thay “change The” Mizz Amarica Padgient so thare isnt No “Beuty” in the Beuty Context any moar and so The Soviet we desiddid we “can” has a Mizz Fimbo Collidge Padgient!! And gess waht?? I wone!!!!!
Al i hadd to “do” was Say i Self Idennifyed as a Wimmin and than alll of us whoo was “in it” we hadd to make a Litle Tallk abote wye Socile Jutstus it is so goood and stand aruond In “our” Undies and i sayed Socile Jutstus it is So Good “becose” it is Just!!” and waive my Moth Antenners aroned and this hear Otther Wimmin she sayed “Anny Boddy waht dont like” Socile Jutstus thay is Enemay of the Peple and thay shuld “get Beet Up reel bad” and i whas affrayed she was gointo Whin but gess waaht??? Wee al wone!!
Yes we al wone “And” we al getted trofeys!! and The Padgient it razed lots of dolars tooo, we razed enuhgh to by Plasstick Hand Cuphs and aslo “a” peece of Rubbre Hoze for the Micro Agrecian Rabid Responts Teem!!! Neckts Time somboddy thay says Somthing Racist or Sexist or Hatfull thay “whil” get it but Good!!
Now that I amb Mizz Fimbo Collidge i amb whel on “my whey” to being “A” reel wimmin so i gess al Them Moth Hoarmoans thay are helping “After” alll!!!
This is not a satire. We only wish it was.
Now, for a mere $10,000, you can become a “Harvard Certified Social Justice Warrior” by taking this 16-credit, 18-month course online (https://www.dailywire.com/news/30153/harvard-university-introduces-16-credit-social-emily-zanotti). It includes such dazzlingly useless subjects as “Chocolate, Culture, and the Politics of Food,” “Readings in Black Radicalism” (do you get extra credit if you can explain the difference between that and hating white people?), and “Storytelling and Global Justice.” And “you’ll learn about the core themes of social justice.” Oh, boy.
Is there a definition, somewhere, of “social justice”? Or is it just a lot of utterly meaningless left-wing crapola?
I wonder if Patty and I have $20,000 in our life savings to spend on a couple of these certificates. Do you?
I’d be very interested to know how many nincompoops wind up biting on this bait.
America’s universities–making America dumber by the day.
I keep telling you we’re going to have a colossal social problem, trying to figure out what to do with millions of college graduates who are unemployable, ignorant, confrontational, lazy, and, in the words of the personnel guy in this video, “insufferably annoying.”
And that’s putting it mildly.