From May 25, 2019
If you think the programs they show on TV are bad, you should see the ones they don’t show. Here are three examples, compiled by Byron the Quokka.
Ringworm! Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dame Judith Anderson as a pair of Ponca City cops who track down people with skin afflictions. Reviewers complained it only made them feel itchy.
Is Anybody There? was a sitcom about invisible people whose voices can’t be heard. Mostly it was footage of empty rooms, which reviewers described as “intolerably boring.” Signing up and paying actors who are never seen or heard turned out to be an unwise use of studio funds. Executive Producer Tommy Plotz was put to death.
Jimmy Fraud Investigates. A local cable TV reporter, reputedly the most credulous reporter in the world, investigates “the unexplained” in his home town–e.g., sightings of a woolly mammoth in the Stop & Shop parking lot. Most of the “cases” turned out to be clumsy hoaxes perpetrated by not very bright teenagers. The others were of no interest to anyone.
On second thought, are these really so much worse than what we’ve got? You decide!
