Have you noticed there were a lot more centaur sightings a few years ago than there are now? No more centaurs in our parking lot, that’s for sure.
Centaur populations increase because of transphobia, Climbit Change Denial, and microaggressions. When they decrease, it’s for the same causes. Ditto for when they stay the same.
Meanwhile, Centaur Science needs more Identity Protection…
Hi! Mr. Nature isn’t here today, so it is I, Dr. Credulous, presenting overwhelming and undeniable proof that centaurs are really real!
Video doesn’t lie!
All right, I admit one of these five centaurs does look a little hinky, there just might be something about it that’s not 100% kosher. But the other four!
It is believed that Climate Change and Income Inequality have contributed to the increase in centaur sightings. And that makes perfect sense to me–because… I’m Dr. Credulous!
This just in!
Bunion Township police were at first incredulous when a woman sobbed out a tale of “some kind of horse thing with a beard” snatched her purse and “galloped, I tell you” into the dense forest lining both sides of Popocatapetl Road. But when the construction of an Indenti-Kit picture yielded the image of a centaur, they had to take the story seriously.
It is not known what the centaur will do with the woman’s purse. Meanwhile, interviews with residents have confirmed that there is a half-man, half-horse thingy living in the area. “I come out one morning and he was using my trampoline,” a man reported.
At first skeptical of the reports, Mayor Alphonse Testacol has just announced a $15.00 reward to the first person who can provide video of the centaur.
“It could get tricky,” said Police Chief Warren Peece, “if the centaur disguises itself with makeup from the purse.”