Tag Archives: Frankenstein

Will Our Robots Murder Us?

Image result for images of boris karloff as frankenstein

(Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip)

During a recent Q&A session on Reddit, “famed futurist” Michio Kaku–sorry, but I never heard of him–warned that robots will “evolve” to the point where they might harbor “murderous thoughts” toward us humans (https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/michio-kaku-robots-artificial-intelligence-16849050).

Sheesh, look at all the trouble we had with Frankenstein–and that was only one artificial human.

Anyway, Mr. Kaku says Artificial Intelligence in robots will just keep getting smarter and smarter until robots threaten to “replace humans” and then, he babbles, we’ll have no choice but to “merge” with robots. Then we can have Artificial Intelligence, too!

And this is all supposed to happen, it seems, by itself–without some fool programming a robot to have murderous thoughts toward humans. I guess they’re going to program themselves, a la Jet Jaguar in Godzilla vs. Megalon. Image result for images of jet-jaguar in godzilla vs. megalon  See? As big as Megalon! “He must have programmed himself to do that,” muses the inventor.

Gee, have the movies got this covered, or what?

Is naturally-occurring stupidity in such short supply, these days, that we need to manufacture Artificial Stupidity? Like, why in the world would anybody build a robot that goes around killing people willy-nilly? Well, yeah, probably there’s somebody who would do just that. To Save The Planet or something.

I’m afraid I’ve missed a lot of dozy robot stories since the Drudge Report became the Democrat cheering session and we dropped it for Rantingly.


Top Scientist: Here Comes Immortality!

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By 2050, according to a “top scientist,” human beings will acquire the ability “to not die” ( https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-5408425/Human-beings-achieve-immortality-2050.html).

Yessireebob, immortality is just around the corner! This will be thanks to “Artificial Intelligence mimicking human thought,” “body part renewal,” and “linking bodies to machines.” And thanks to cloning, our masters will be able to “restore the brain as it matures.” Paging Dr. Frankenstein…

Wow. Like, 700 more years of Nancy Pelosi in the House of Representatives. I can’t wait.

But what we’re talking about here is just another freakin’ simulation. “You” will become a collection of computer programs and whatnot. Stuff that imitates you.

Oh, but let’s say it really works, and you become sort of immortal. You’ll last for as long as the high-tech wizardry doesn’t spring a leak.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to imagine what that would be like. What if one of your personal updates goes wrong? What effect would it have on your mind, on your soul–presuming you still have one, once they’re through with you–to live without the certainty of eventual death… and without the hope of eternal life through Jesus Christ? With the thought that one slip, one glitch, and you’re gone for good–or maybe just turned into some kind of AI zombie that isn’t you at all?

Turn us all into a race of Terminators–yeah, what could possibly go wrong?

This is idol worship with a vengeance.


I Am Not Violet Crepuscular (‘Oy, Rodney’)

Image result for images of silly romance novels

Just because Ms. Violet Crepuscular’s books are so hard to find doesn’t mean I’m writing them. I am not Violet Crepuscular. I have a beard; she doesn’t. I’ve never read a romance novel, except for her inimitable Oy, Rodney. That having been settled, we move on to

CHAPTER CL

Every trial in Scurveyshire is the Trial of the Century. This time the defendant is the merry poacher known as Mickle the Merry Poacher and the plaintiff is Lord Nodule, demanding justice. This is the first case to be tried by Lord Jeremy Coldsore as Justice of the Peace.

“I demand justice!” barks Lord Nodule. “This peon, this excrescence on the body politic, this walking bubo known has Mickle the Merry Poacher, has been poaching on my land for 15 years and I want him stopped! I demand he be punished by drowning!”

The first witness is Constable Chumley, the arresting officer. “Oh, aye,” he testifies, “Mickle been doddlin’ the cairns swofty-like aforementioned deedle.” He is dismissed from the witness stand as soon as possible.

Several of Mickle’s neighbors, and six of Lord Nodule’s tenants, testify that the Merry Poacher has never actually succeeded in poaching anything. “He couldn’t catch a cold,” swears the Widow Flibbert. But the defendant, when he is finally sworn in, insists he has been very successful indeed.

“Caught me a centaur, once’t!” he boasts. “Let’s see anyone top that!”

“What did you do with it?” Lord Jeremy wonders.

“Was gunner eat it, wasn’t I! Only then I found a note on my door from Black Rodney tellin’ me I had to let it go, so that’s what I done.” The crowd gasps.

“I object!” Lord Nodule roars. “Ask him about the badgers!”

“Badgers? Ain’t never caught no badger,” Mickle admits.

“My lord, there are no badgers in Scurveyshire!” interjects the shire’s game warden, Officer Foffle.

“Caught me a Elf once’t, too,” says Mickle.

The public defender, Mr. Potash, moves that all charges be dismissed. “My client is obviously mad, my lord.” He produces a notably ridiculous-looking gadget. “This absurd contraption is one of Mr. Mickle’s homemade snares. You can see it’s perfectly useless for any purpose whatsoever.” Mickle scowls at him.  “I call on you to find him Not Guilty by reason of demonstrable idiocy.”

“He still ought to be drowned,” grumbles Lord Nodule. “What’s this shire coming to, anyway?”

Lord Jeremy sees no alternative but to dismiss the charges. Lord Nodule glares at him.

“You haven’t heard the last of this, Coldsore!” he declares. “I shall be with you on your wedding night!” [Editor’s Note: I think that’s what Frankenstein’s monster said to his creator, Victor Frankenstein, in Mary Shelly’s classic horror novel. What was Ms. Crepuscular thinking when she penned that line?]

The chapter ends abruptly with a recipe for aphid jelly. I cannot bring myself to repeat it.


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