No More Nooze Today

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Sorry, but I’ve had it up to here with the nooze and I’d just as soon take a break from it this weekend. Give me an axolotl instead.

I mean, really! I’ve just spent time on a couple of different nooze sites and it’s all the same: impeachment, let’s abort all babies with Down’s Syndrome, let’s abort all “binary pronouns,” and let’s have a national food fight over “reparations”–punishing people for something that other people did 200 years ago.  And on and on. What a dreary landscape!

I can’t get any axolotls, so this afternoon we’re going to pet our cats and watch what’s supposed to be a good BBC remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s black-and-white classic, The Lady Vanishes. Maybe Elizabeth Warren will vanish.

And I’m re-reading Bell Mountain.   Image result for images of bell mountain by lee duigon If you haven’t read it yet–well, what are you waiting for? I’ve also got a book of mermaid stories, which I think I’ll tackle next. Mermaids beat the nooze any day. Almost as good as axolotls!

Bag the Mermaid, Win a Million Bucks (2015)

Image result for images of mermaid

This seaside resort town in Israel offered a million-dollar prize to anyone who could capture the local mermaid (https://leeduigon.com/2015/04/16/if-you-cant-find-a-centaur-look-for-a-mermaid/). To this day, no one’s been able to claim it.

What do you do with a story like this? A whole bunch of people say they’ve seen the mermaid. But we also know that a mermaid would be a biological impossibility, don’t we?

Then again, a lot of people believe in Man-Maid Climbit Change…

Incontrovertible Proof of Mermaids

This is supposed to be an age of radical skepticism, right? That’s why no eddicated person believes any of that stuff in the Bible. He would rather be scientific, and listen to a lot of tripe about dinosaurs “experimenting with different kinds of body plans,” yatta-yatta.

The flip side of our modern, hi-tech age is ignorance and superstition. Turn away from the real God, and any god will do. You can only keep worshiping celebrities and politicians for so long before you need something more.

Like mermaids, for instance.

Here is the official and bona fide video of a genuine mermaid washed up on a beach somewhere after a hurricane. What beach? What hurricane? Picky, picky, picky!

So if you’re not getting everything you need from lectures about what happened in the first 64th of a second after the Big Bang–well, don’t look a gift mermaid in the mouth.

If You Can’t Find a Centaur, Look for a Mermaid

http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=JN.CnCO0ZTqddLNm5qnooC9hg&pid=15.1

Just so you know the real news still goes on, in spite of all the politics, the town of Kiryat Kam in Israel is still offering a $1 million reward to anyone who can corral the local… mermaid ( http://www.livescience.com/5642-mermaid-sightings-claimed-israel.html ).

Since 2009, various tourists have claimed to see the mermaid swimming in the blue waters of the Eastern Mediterranean. They say she does tricks. But so far no one has been able to claim the reward. Apparently the mermaid is hip to all the techniques of mermaid-fishing.

Hey, if you need a quick million dollars, why not buzz off to Kiryat Kam and try your luck?

Sometimes we fantasy writers are not so sure we’re writing fantasy, after all. People keep saying they see centaurs. And mermaids. They’re not members of the American political establishment, so we can’t assume they’re all just lying.

Can we?