Tag: The Art of Writing

Progress Report (Such as It Is)

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Freddy the Pig (Literature) - TV Tropes

(Freddy the pig, as illustrated by Kurt Wiese)

These past few days, about the only time I feel normal is when I’m writing my book, Ozias, Prince Enthroned. The rest of the time, the arthritis in my hip and leg beats up on me non-stop… and the cancer diagnosis is a serious distraction. Next Wednesday they’ll give me a pelvic MRI. I’ve had worse.

Ah! But is it a good book? Well, I’m the last one on the planet who can tell you that. If it were a bad one, it wouldn’t be a comfort to me. I’m now in what I expect to be the final set of chapters. To me it seems so far, so good. But Steve McQueen once said you could say that before you hit the ground after falling out of a third-story window. [Numerous points for knowing in which movie he said that.]

Heading into a battle in which he’ll be outnumbered three to one, King Ozias is distracted by the fleeting presence of a prophet who might not be a man, but an angel. His enemy, Queen Maressa, has also seen it. I already know how this is going to turn out, but that’s all I dare say about it.

Other than that I’m very thankful that God has given me this work. I’ll try to do my very best.

 

‘Insensitive Things to Say to Authors’ (2019)

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My writing career started long before the self-publishing revolution: the only way you could wind up in print was if a publisher was willing to pay you for it.

This was almost impossible to achieve; but after innumerable shoot-downs, I finally did. And here’s what happened next.

Insensitive Things to Say to Authors

There are many self-published books whose authors deserve to be paid, who shouldn’t have to pay the publisher. That really makes me growl. And there are books published and paid for by publishers who must have lost their minds and who deserve to lose their money, too.

“Oh, if only I had the time, I’d write a novel, too!” Like anyone can do it. Like it takes no skill, no study, no experience, and certainly nothing like hard work.

Grrr…!

‘My Fantasy Tool Kit’ (1)

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From the classic BBC production of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

I’ve been expecting, any day now, word that my Bell Mountain novel No. 15, Ocean of Time, has been printed and is ready to be put on sale.

So let’s push the nooze aside and talk about fantasy.

My Fantasy Tool Kit (1)

(Well, now my computer is acting up. Wanna write a real fantasy that’s going to blow your readers’ minds? Write about a computer that actually works! Grrrr!)

Anyway, you need realistic characters or your fantasy ain’t goin’ nowhere.

How do you achieve realism when you’re writing about non-human characters you just made up?

It took me a very many years to learn this rule, but I’m giving it to you now for free:

Where realism can’t go, consistency will find the way.

Bookstores? Anybody Seen a Bookstore?

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Waldenbooks in 1983 at the Staten Island Mall. From the ...

Back in the 1980s, when I was writing horror novels–and finally getting them published–Patty and I loved to visit bookstores and see my books on the shelves. Waldenbooks, Borders, little independent stores… We’re both avid readers, and kept stocking up on paperbacks for the weekend. Books with the theme of “small town terrorized” were always high on her list. And I was thrilled when Aunt Gertie went on a bus trip to Niagara Falls and found my books in some of the gift shops.

We had two stores right here, downtown. There were bookstores everywhere. But now there’s only one, selling used paperbacks only. Where did the rest of them go? You can imagine how a writer must have felt about disappearing bookstores.

It looks to me like most books, the most by far, can only be bought online. I’m glad we can do that, but I have to say my sales were much better in the bookstores. Writing is the only job I do really well–and a writer has got to have readers.

There’s still a Barnes & Noble in our Menlo Park Mall–the only place I know where you can still buy new books. But as a writer, I’d be sunk without Amazon.com.

You can’t find my books in the stores anymore, you can only buy them online. Heck, you can hardly find the stores. I miss browsing in the bookstores. And I wonder if they’ll ever come back.

Lifeblood

My first published book. Corny? I guess so. But my own.

 

How Could I Forget the Map?

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General Map of Middle-earth - Tolkien Gateway

One of Tolkien’s maps of Middle-Earth

When I started writing fantasy novels, as a teen in high school, the very first thing I did, every time, was create a map. I’d be writing about imaginary places, after all: so I would need a map.

The other day one of my editors, working on Ozias, Prince in Peril, asked why there wasn’t a map to go with it.

Oh, that’s easy! ‘Cause I forgot! I forgot the freakin’ map! How that could be, I don’t know.

The tricky part: the Obann depicted in this map would be 2,000 years older than the one shown in the published maps. (Yes, all the other books in the series have a map!)  A lot of names can change in 2,000 years. I trust the physical features won’t change too much–although that can happen in real life, and it ain’t too pleasant when it does.

Sit outside, now, and THINK! Map needed! And there’s no one can provide it… but me.

‘Ocean of Time’: Gotta Write the Blurb

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OceanTime

Well! It looks like we’re trying to publish Ocean of Time in time for Christmas; so I have to write a cover blurb.

It feels like I’ve had to wait quite a while to do this: the ol’ Pandemic didn’t do much for our publishing schedule. This is Bell Mountain No. 15. And after that comes a trilogy set two thousand years in Obann’s past, focusing on the life and adventures of King Ozias, King Ryons’ ancestor.

I’ll start tackling that back cover today, although I doubt I’ll finish it until a few days later.

Meanwhile, it’s time for another thrilling episode of Joe Collidge.

‘How Not to Write’ (2014)

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The Very Bad Book by Andy Griffiths Book The Fast Free Shipping | eBay

I admit that I would not open this book, believing as I do that the title captures something very easily achieved by many persons.

Almost everyone thinks he or she could be a writer… “if only I had the time.” Yeah, it’s preposterously easy! Especially novels. Anyone can write a novel.

Like so:

How Not to Write

You wouldn’t believe so many literary crimes could be committed in just one book. Mark Twain was hard on James Fenimore Cooper, but some of the books that are pitched to me put Cooper’s errors in the shade.

P.S.–The computer is rebelling this morning and has so far refused to post a picture. I’ll keep trying. Welcome to the Age of Nothing Works.

‘How to Ruin a Fantasy’ (2015)

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Laying it on a bit thick, dontcha think?

I guess you could say writing fantasy novels is my day job. I’ve been writing them since I was 12 years old, always learning, beating my head against the stone wall of publication until I finally achieved it… Anyway, I know what I’m talking about.

Why do I find so many fantasy novels sabotaged by their own writers?

How to Ruin a Fantasy

What’s with some of these writers? They want you to think you’re in an imaginary world, they want it to seem real to you–and then the Elf turns to the Dwarf and sez “We have to learn to value each other’s lifestyle.”

Run screaming to the sidewalk. Toss book into the nearest fire.

Never, never, never do this! Your created fantasy world must have integrity!

And that’s it for me, I have to rush off to the doctor’s office…

‘Writing a Novel Is Like…’ (2014)

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The Glass Bridge (Bell Mountain, 7)|eBook

I’m currently trying to write Ozias, Prince Enthroned. Not having all the pieces is hard enough. Now I’m looking at–shall we call them “health challenges”?–looming up in front of me. I finished the fourth chapter set yesterday. Maybe it was a miracle. Distractions are not good for novel-writing.

Writing a Novel is Like…

So please pray for me: I just want to be able to carry on with my work, in an atmosphere of peace and normalcy. I have another Ozias book to write after this one. And after that–

Well, we’ll just have to see.

Obstacles, Obstacles!

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OceanTime

I am trying to write a book: Ozias, Prince Enthroned, Part 2 of a trilogy. I had to shut it down for the winter. Now I want to get back to work on it–only to run into obstacles and impediments everywhere I turn.

Suddenly I’ve got three physical therapy sessions every week. The next day, I’m stiff and sore all over.

Previously scheduled doctors’ appointments.

Can’t seem to get a good night’s sleep. Worry, worry.

Now that’s funny! When I actually list these annoyances… well, they shrink. It ain’t that big a deal, I can handle it. If I had an upside-down exclamation mark, I could shout defiance in Spanish: “Alcaldes a mi!” (“Bring on your cops!” As in “I don’t care!”)

I depend on God to help me in my work; and so far He always has. My books are written in His service.

So let’s get to work already!