Tag: executive orders

The Mystery of the Sealed Executive Order

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Under Sealed Orders: Marshall, Catherine: 9780340125076: Amazon.com: Books

Blue State Governor Harriet Howlermonkey has consigned a sealed executive order to a safe deposit box, not to be opened until Oct. 1, 2120–one hundred years from now (www.ohcomeonnow.com).

Why not just open it after the governor’s term expires?

“We can’t even get a peek!” said Assembly Speaker Jack Innabox. “There’s another executive order forbidding us to peek, and we have to obey any executive order by the governor.

“We’ll just have to wait a hundred years, and then whoever’s around will have to do whatever the sealed order says.”

But what does the order say? Speculation abounds: everybody’s guessing. The staff at Eyewitless News lists the top five guesses:

*All non-citizens are now citizens, and all citizens are now non-citizens.

*No one in the state is allowed to sleep past 5 a.m.

*Face masks must be worn while you sleep, and social workers will come into your bedroom and check, every half hour.

*If you’re not in government, it will be against the law for you to have any kind of electricity. Even static electricity.

*Sandwiches must now be made with the bread inside and the contents outside.

“All we know,” said Innabox, “is that an order is an order and it must be obeyed!”

New Law! Putting on Weight’s a Crime

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Obesity Affects Men and Women Differently, Study Suggests ...

Inspired by one of those British nooze stories that makes a big splash and then disappears without a ripple, a new executive order by Manchukuo Gov. Alvin Calvin requires doctors to report it to the state if a patient’s gaining weight. This is getting rather mellifluous, so it must be true.

“Obesity’s a crime!” said the governor. “When the Brits were thinkin’ about doin’ this a few years ago, they never said how much weight you had to gain before your doctor had to report you to the government, and they never said what would happen to you if you gained too much weight.”

“A journey to obesity,” trilled Lt. Gov. Suzie Doozie, “begins with a single step on the scale!”

Therefor, said the governor, “any weight gain is too much weight gain, and must be reported by the doctor–and if he doesn’t report it, he’ll be charged as an accessory to the crime.”

Persons who gain weight will be given a certain amount of time in which to lose it.

“If you put it on and then fail to take it off,” said the governor, “we’ll simply shoot you in the head and have the coroner say you died of the coronavirus.”

 

‘New Executive Order: “Target Behavior”‘ (2015)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Image result for images of twilight zone to serve man

From the bad, bad, bad old days of the Obama regime:

https://leeduigon.com/2015/09/16/new-executive-order-target-behavior/

I’m afraid too many people have already forgotten how bad it was, and how much more appallingly bad it would have gotten, had Hillary Clinton been elected to continue the experiment.

Government is supposed to be to us a minister for good, ordained by God, protecting us from evildoers and punishing those who have not been deterred from evil (Romans 13).

It’s not supposed to be an all-devouring monster.

Can the President Raise Your Taxes?

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All bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives… (Section 7)

The Congress shall have power to lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises… (Section 8)

–Article I of the United States Constitution

When Valerie Jarrett, back in 2008, said Obama was “ready to rule,” no one realized she meant it literally.

Fresh off his stroke-of-the-pen “executive amnesty” for millions of illegal aliens, President *Batteries Not Included now contemplates a “unilateral tax hike” by means of yet another executive order ( http://townhall.com/tipsheet/conncarroll/2015/03/02/obama-very-interested-in-raising-taxes-through-executive-action-n1964629 ).

The Constitution–laughingly referred to as the supreme law of the land–gives Congress the exclusive power to raise taxes. So what does this president think he is doing?

We can shed some light on this thanks to an exclusive interview with a presidential adviser named Carbuncle, who normally appears to be nothing more than a small growth near the president’s armpit. While the president is asleep, or otherwise insensible, Carbuncle can take the form of a large insect and move about independently.

“He will tell you he only wants to raise a mere $100 billion–chicken-feed!–by closing off tax loopholes and punishing those big corporations that everybody hates,” said Carbuncle. “This is going to happen in all 57 states, and that $100 billion is only the first installment.

“The president is distressed that some vestiges of the Constitution might remain intact after his final year in office. He is also keen to establish many more vacation residences for himself in various countries of the world. That will cost lots of dollars! So far he is looking at places in Costa Rica, Dubai, Switzerland, the Maldives, and some 90 other undisclosed locations.”

How can the former community organizer get away with such blatant violations of the law?

“Easy! Simple!” answered Carbuncle. “He knows no one in America will dare to demand his impeachment, because everyone in America is terrified of being called a racist. They would rather bow down to a tyrant than run the risk of being slammed by the media. So he can do anything he wants.”

Besides which, he whispered, while suggestively waving his antennae, “He has help from a place that many Americans don’t believe in but that all are afraid of.”