As a Christian, I don’t believe in reincarnation, either; but I certainly wouldn’t bother to say to anyone, “You’d better reincarnate–or else!”
Or else what?
See, the Dalai Lama sort of hinted that he might not reincarnate after he dies, this time, and the Chicoms–not content with devouring his country, Tibet, and enslaving its people–are all bent out of shape over it. They say The Government ought to decide who gets reincarnated and who doesn’t.
Yeasterdday in Gender Studies 606 the prefesser She toled “us” abote this hear Book its al abuot Past Lifes! And how wee al “used to” be Somone Else! It is OK for us “to” beleave this Becose them stopid christins they Dont beleave “it”!
She sayed This Hear it is “the” Spiritule Apsect of Gender Floidity! If yiu Are a Mail it meens yiu “used to” bee Femail and If yiu are Femail “it” meens yiu used to bee Mail! and That is “why” Evry One shuld ouhght to get This hear Past Lifes Retro-Regresion Tharapy so then yiu Wil know whom Yiu “used to” be and yiu can Go “back” to beeing It!
Wel lett Me tel yiu larning This it shure got My Moth Antenners in a Twist! Becose affter al the hole reeson i got Moth Antenners is thay shoot me up Whith Moth Hormoans to make Me into “a” wimmin! But then i get to Thinkin “may-be I “used to” bee a Moth!!! and Waht wuld hapen If i did Past Life Retro-Regresion and got hippotized, wuld That “turn me” into a Reel Moth whith Wings??? but of coarse i Didnt aks That becose Hear At Collidge yiu Not aloud to aks no Questoins. That is a New Pollisy we got and it reely works! Besydes thay wont “let yiu” have no Play-Doh iff Yiu aks Quesstins!
Wel i sure lernt somethin this week, hear at collidge!
We had a lecchure by a guy from Indiea, a reel big Spiritule guy i think he is a Swammee his name was Brian Something (sory, i never did get how to spel his nayme) and he tole us Donold Trump he is the Re-in-Carnation of A. Dolf Hittler! Yiu has herd “that Donold trump” he is jist lyke Hittler, but i is hear to tel yiu that Donold Trump he reely is Hittler! that is” what the Swammee he sayed.
Now i had me a bigg promble with this hear thing at first becose we is all Interllecturals hear at the Collidge and we dont beleave in no After Lyfe or the sole or nothing like that so how can thare bee any Re-in-Carnation or stuff lyke that?? Wel my prefesser he sayed that no mater it is OK to be Spiritule as long as yiu is not a christin whoo hats Gay Peple and dont want to let no wimmim have a bortion iff she wants one. So yuo “see he sayed” this Swammee he dont beleave in God and he is nott a christin “so” he almose is a interllectural like us!!
This it explanes wyh Donold trump he reely so bad becose he istnt Donold trump at al but “he” is reely A. Dolf Hittler! And thare was some dop whoo tryed to argue abuot it but wile he was arguin i went out side and i let the ayre out of al his tires ha ha!
wel it shuld ohgt to bee aginst the Law to be voteing for anyboddy whoo is Donold trump or any ohther Repulbickan and the goverrmint it shuld wach and seee whoo yiu vote for and if yiu dont vot for Hillery or Berny yiu shuld go to Jale!! And then we wuld havve reel Demockracy!
Don’t you sometimes wonder just what the churches in America are teaching–or if they’re teaching anything at all, and just leaving it up to the members of the congregation to bumble forward on their own?
The Christian Research Institute–if you’re a fan of Christian radio, you know the CRI is the home of Hank Hannegraaff, “The Bible Answer Man”–reports that 24% of Americans believe in reincarnation… and 22% of professed Christians in America say they believe in it.
Folks, that’s not even trying to get it right! What does the Bible say? [I]t is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment. (Hebrews 9:27) None of this getting born and reborn over and over again until you get it right, you get “enlightened,” and are rewarded by being absorbed into the cosmic amoeba. If that was really going on, then why did Jesus Christ have to be born, and why did He have to die on a cross?
No, no, no–the only way to mix Christianity and reincarnation is by the firm application of pure brainlessness.
Why aren’t the churches teaching God’s word?
CRI encourages Christians, when they encounter some dork who believes in reincarnation, to ask “Why?” We are advised to ask nicely, so that probably lets me out. An honest answer would probably be, “I dunno–a lotta cool celebrities say they believe in it, so if I say I believe in it, I’ll be cool, too.”
I have yet to figure out how to continue the conversation from that point.
The most ridiculous quote in the story, as reported by The New York Times, comes from one Zhu Weiqun, a Communist Party apparatchik whose job seems to be to try to make the conquered people of Tibet stop feeling bad that the Chinese Army took over their country. Mr. Zhu said:
“Decision-making power over the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama, and over the end or survival of this lineage [the Dalai Lama is supposedly the same person, reincarnated over and over again–ed.], resides in the central government of China.”
So what happened to all that Marxist-Leninist dialectic materialism?
Commies don’t believe in reincarnation, but that doesn’t stop them wanting to control it. Like American “progressives,” they want to control everything.
Think it can’t happen here?
Libs don’t believe in the Bible, but they would dearly love to control what’s printed in it.