Phoebe requested Hark the Herald Angels Sing, so here it is–from the Kings College Choir, at Cambridge.
The Christmas Carol Contest continues! So far the leading carol got 24 views the day it was posted. Remember, you can enter as often as you like. It’s part of our celebration of our Savior’s birth.
Peaceful, mellow… The First Noel, played on the guitar by Nanae Fujiwara. For me it evokes the spirit of a still and snowy Christmas Eve. Relax and let it flow.
You’d think having four legs instead of just two would be an advantage on the ice. But you’d be wrong.
And what about that dog trying to run up the iced sliding board? Was he serious, or just having fun?
Learn from cats and dogs. If there’s any fun at hand, go for it.
“Beyond Vegetables” proved to be a cultural disaster, her cooking show was canceled after the first episode, and Violet Crepuscular has finally written Chapter CCCXXXI of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney.
A mysterious stranger who looks like Broderick Crawford has turned up in Scurveyshire, to seek Lady Margo Cargo’s hand in marriage (1). Meanwhile, Lady Margo is celebrating because she has found her missing glass eye. It was under her pillow all along.
“When I was young,” she confides to the American adventurer, Willis Twombley, whom she thinks is the same person as her current betrothed, Lord Jeremy Coldsore, “my mother told me that if I put my glass eye under my pillow at night, the Eye Fairy would come and leave me a shilling.”
“But then you’d be short an eye, l’il darlin’,” says Twombley.
“The fairy never took the eye,” explains Lady Margo. “Even so, half the time I forgot I’d put the eye under my pillow and I’d have to do without it for several days.” She sighs deeply. “I can never remember the things I forget,” she laments.
“You will notice a footnote pertaining to the mysterious stranger who uncannily resembles Broderick Crawford,” Ms. Crepuscular writes, in an aside to the reader. “This has been added for a scholarly purpose. Footnotes are meant to be read, dear reader, so don’t forget to read this one!”
There being nothing much more to this chapter, we shall advance to the bottom of the page and read the footnote.
“1) Among the stranger’s descendants are Fulgencio Batista, the Cuban dictator ousted by Fidel Castro. This explains President Batista’s fleeting resemblance to the America actor who used to star in Highway Patrol.”
So we can stop wondering about it.
Chapter CCCXXXII has been postponed due to bad weather.
It pains us to report that certain unscrupulous persons are horning in on the market created and nurtured by Acme False Facts Inc., the original and authentic false facts.
However, the discerning customer will quickly be able to see the difference between a real false fact, provided by Acme, and a phony false fact from Oobatz False Facts Inc.–pretenders and interlopers that they are.
For instance:
A) Gerbils evolved from birds.
B) Robin Hood is buried in Abilene, Kansas.
Now, which of those is the authentic, genuine, Acme false fact, and which one is the cheap Oobatz imitation? Of course! You spotted it instantly. False Fact A is authentic, and B is just a lot of hooey that no one with the intelligence of a paramecium would ever believe!
We have truly sunk to a new depth, haven’t we, when money-grubbing scoundrels have to stoop to counterfeiting False Facts. And no, we are not impressed by Oobatz’s spurious “guarantee” that all of their false facts are verifiably false, or your money back.
Stick with Acme! Our False Facts are truly false!
Requested by Erlene, Mary’s Little Boy Child, sung by Carroll Roberson. I hear this lovely carol every Christmas; now I finally know its name.
Our Christmas Carol Contest is picking up steam. I pray it’ll strengthen the bonds of our fellowship and spread the Christmas spirit.
Requested by Jeremy–and let’s see if I can get it posted before he goes to bed: oh, those crazy time zones!–In the Bleak Midwinter, sung by David Phelps.
I wrote a satire in 2011 featuring a “New New Testament,” and lo and behold, two years later, a bunch of flatline churchmen actually published what they called a “New New Testament.” I hate being right all the time.
Now, who’s so dumb as to be unable to guess what’s in the New New Testament? Go ahead, give it a shot. It’s easy. Just ask yourself, “What would Rosie O’Donnell or Obama put in the Bible, if they were writing it?”
On second thought, who needs that kind of nightmare?
Everything by the Libera boys’ choir is superb, and this one’s no exception. Requested by Joshua, God Rest You Merry Gentlemen.
Sometimes Christmas makes me feel like I’m about five years old again. Do any of you feel that, ever?