‘Not-So-Fond Memory: the Flatline Church’ (2017)

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What can be said of the Church in any country where transgender propaganda, Drag Queen Story Hour, nearly-nude Super Bowl halftime shows on TV at the church, and the ACLU all flourish? Can we say that Church has failed?

Not-so-Fond Memory: The Flatline Church

The Enemy has been gnawing and sawing at the foundations since the late 18th century, and has made horrifying progress: but clever clods within the mainline/flatline churches think they can go along to get along–and who needs the Bible, anyway?

We do, sunshine! We don’t need you, there will always be a real Church, but we do need the Bible.

‘A Satire That’s Become Reality (Aaagh!)’ (2013)

Counterfeit Bibles

I wrote a satire in 2011 featuring a “New New Testament,” and lo and behold, two years later, a bunch of flatline churchmen actually published what they called a “New New Testament.” I hate being right all the time.

A Satire That’s Become Reality (Aaaagh!)

Now, who’s so dumb as to be unable to guess what’s in the New New Testament? Go ahead, give it a shot. It’s easy. Just ask yourself, “What would Rosie O’Donnell or Obama put in the Bible, if they were writing it?”

On second thought, who needs that kind of nightmare?

‘”A Good Christian'” (2014)

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What exactly is “a good Christian,” according to our secular fanatics?

‘A Good Christian’

See? They’re not intolerant at all! They just want us all to be “good Christians” and let them get on with the business of herding the whole human race into the Devil’s corral. That’s another attribute of “good Christians.” They never rock the boat.

The apostles? Bad Christians!

Flatline Churches Rally ‘Round Abortion

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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain… unless you’re a “progressive Christian,” then it’s okay.

When the Son of Man returns, will He find faith in the earth?

Maybe–if He stays away from certain churches.

An ordained Presbyterian pastor, Rebecca Todd Peters, who is a professor at Elon University, has authored a book titled Trust Women: a Progressive Christian Argument for Reproductive Justice (https://www.lifenews.com/2018/08/29/presbyterian-pastor-if-christians-truly-value-women-they-will-support-abortion/). Yowsah, yowsah, says the preacher: if Christians truly “value” women, why, they’ll support abortion!

Not to be outdone, the United Methodist Church is proposing to change its kinda-sorta-not exactly position on abortion to “We support abortion!”

Both the Presbyterian “minister” and the Methodist churchmen resort to the euphemism, “reproductive health.” Like, pregnancy is a disease and the baby is the symptom. Like, a woman going to have a baby is not “healthy.”

Look at the title of Ms. Peters’ book. “Progressive Christian” is surely an oxymoron, like “colossal olives.” “Progressive Christians” oppose God’s word at every turn. They hate God’s word. And as for “reproductive justice,” what is that? Justice for whom? Certainly not for the baby in the womb. But when liberals speak of “justice,” it becomes a dirty word.

What is with these churches? They “marry” homosexuals, denounce God the Father as a relic of some imaginary “patriarchy”–or is that term now “kyriarchy,” or “archiarchy”?–butcher the scriptures, and then wonder why they’re hemorrhaging members. At the rate they’re going, the Presbyterian Church USA won’t see the 22nd century.

Then again, you might say that for our whole global humanist lunatic civilization.


Priest Punished for Calling on Pro-Aborts to Repent

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Why does the Catholic Church–and they’re not the only ones who do this–sometimes act like it disapproves of Catholic teachings?

Ireland recently voted to end pro-life protection for unborn babies and legalize abortion. If you voted for this wicked measure, a priest in Dublin told his congregation, you need to come to confession and repent. So the diocese yanked him out of his parish and assigned him to another post where he won’t be allowed to preach (http://www.lifenews.com/2018/07/18/catholic-priest-punished-after-he-told-pro-abortion-catholics-to-go-to-confession/).

Don’t sneer at Ireland. Here in America, Catholic colleges and looniversities routinely flout church teaching and get away with it. Are the bishops all in hibernation? What would it take to wake them up?

Some years ago Cardinal Raymond Burke, who withheld communion from Catholic politicians (Democrats all) who vote for abortion, was transferred out of his diocese, then kicked upstairs to the Vatican, and then kicked back downstairs again: I’ve lost track of where he is now. Cardinal Burke’s trouble is, he just won’t shut up. Something gave him the idea that a Catholic clergyman ought to stand for Catholic doctrine. The church acts like people who do that are a problem.

There are plenty of Protestant denominations who do the same–enough to make me doubt the Christianity of the institutional church.

When the Son of Man returns, will He find faith on the earth?

Depends on where you look, Lord. Depends on where you look.

‘Transgender Preacher’ (2016)

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This item is still just as appalling as it was two years ago. But at least the comments include a hymn request from Laura which I’ll treat as if it just came in this morning.

Take particular note of what this horse’s ass was saying. Let us pray that somewhere in this country there are churches where he’d be booed off the pulpit and physically thrown out of the building.



‘Judge Not’ (2013)

If would be a better world if Christians stopped trying to win its approval.


Not-so-Fond Memory: The Flatline Church

Some fifteen years ago, maybe more, before the seminaries really got rolling with womanist theology and Social Justice as a substitute for God, I interviewed a high official of the United Methodist Church. And this is what he said.

“The first thing I learned in seminary is that the Bible is not the word of God.” He seemed proud of it: too clever, he, to believe that the Bible is anything but a lot of old, cobwebby, made-up stories about things that never happened and people who never lived.

“Truth,” he said, “is determined by realpolitik.” (Maybe he thought he was Bismarck, or Henry Kissinger.) Whoever can round up the most votes, whoever can spend the most money, whoever can most successfully intimidate the opposition, gets to say what truth is.

This leaves us with no truth at all.

That was years ago. The flatline liberal churches were already carrying a heavy chain of hypocrisy; and, like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, they have “labored on it ever since. It is a ponderous chain.”

But we do have the Bible, it is God’s word, and we have one another.

Which means we don’t need the flatline churches. And more and more Christians are coming to realize this.

‘You’re Still a Racist’

There are churches that aren’t worthy of the name; and I think the most unworthy of them all is The United Church of Christ (UCC).

Recently on its Facebook page, the UCC–which some ignorant noozie described as “a major mainline Protestant denomination,” lol–counseled its couple dozen members to “Listen when people call you on your microaggressions” and to “Recognize that you’re still a racist, no matter what” ( http://dailycaller.com/2016/06/07/united-church-of-christ-all-whites-are-racist-no-matter-what/ ). That only applies if you’re white, of course. All white people are racists.

This major flat-line denomination is also gung-ho for homosexual pseudo-marriage and “gay” pastors, and all the rest of that stuff that drives sane people out of these perpetually shrinking sects. So a spot of race-hustling is hardly out of place.

Someday, if there is anyone around to write the history of this lamentable age, we may learn just how much damage these shabby excuses for churches have done to America.

And if that’s a microaggression, then let me make it a little less micro and a little more macro:

You people are false prophets and evil shepherds, who daily take God’s name in vain, your church is a false church, and unless you repent and change your ways, you’re in for a most uncomfortable Eternity.

‘Transgender Preacher’–Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin

Before we blame everything on politics, let’s consider America’s mainline, flatline, liberal, limpin’ lump o’ brickdust churches.

Calvary Baptist Church in Washington, D.C., ordained a man as a woman because he says he’s a woman, dresses in women’s clothing, and evangelizes for homosexuality ( http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/transgender-baptist-preacher-says-angel-of-reason-prompted-sex-switch/ ).

This lost soul, whose every chromosome is still as male as it was from the moment of his conception, recently told a gathering of jidrools that some “Angel of Reason” told him the Bible was wrong, all wrong, in all its teachings on sexual morality.

Y’know what else he said? Here, let me quote him. This is priceless, and it tells us everything we need to know about his theology and that of the churches who “welcome” and “affirm” him.

“My hymnal has a lot less Isaac Watts and Fanny Crosby, but it’s full of Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Tupac, and Beyonce.”

There is nothing I can add to that.