Tag: 3 Stooges

A Few Life Lessons (No Charge)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

This is how you wind up if you don’t have a Manifesto or a Task Force.

It’s gonna be really hot today, and I’d better get outside and work on my book before it’s too hot to try. But first–

Here are a few life lessons I’ve picked up. I am sharing them with you so that you won’t have to go to college.

*Every doofus has to have a “Manifesto.” The other doofuses won’t take you seriously if you don’t.

*Every pack of nincompoops acquires instant credibility–at least with the nooze media–by forming a “task force.” For Instance, the Trans Doe Task Force. Noozies are impressed by that, even if the expressed purpose of the “task force” is absurd.

*When calculating the IQ of a Hollywood celebrity, take a monkey’s IQ and divide by two.

*”Choice” is only “choice” if you choose what they want you to choose.

*”Oppressed people” are allowed to commit crimes against persons and property that would land you in jail if you committed them. Oppressed people are also entitled to free stuff squeezed out of your hide by the government. Also, oppressed people can do no wrong and their Feelings outweigh all other considerations.

Master these, talk ’em up loud enough–and you’re on your way to a seat on the Supreme Court. Current court-packing plans feature a total of 881 Supreme Court justices, so it’s not like you have no chance to win one.

CNN: Economic Forecasts Are Racist

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

(Overqualified for jobs with CNN)

What? CNN is still here? I thought they’d been voted off the island.

But they’re still babblin’ Far Left Crazy talking points–like, for instance, “Who gets to define whether we’re in a recession? Eight white economists you’ve never heard of!” (https://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/business/joseph-vazquez/2022/07/06/insane-cnn-argued-recession-proclamations-are)

Can you follow this logic? Economic forecasts are made by “white guys,” and are therefore both unreliable… and “racist.” Because to the polyps on CNN everything is racist. Economists have not defined us as being in a recession yet “because [they are] not racially diverse.”

Obviously what we need are some economists who are black lesbians from Cambodia who are here illegally and have just had abortions. That’ll make the forecasts more “diverse.”

Heck, I feel more diverse already!

‘Activist Wanted’ (2018)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Even the morons are unionized!

This is really hard to imagine! Why in the world would anybody want an “activist”? But here’s some stupid college that wants to have an “activist in residence”… and will pay for it.

‘Activist Wanted’

That’s your tuition money going up in smoke, dude.

One of these days someone will land a job as a paid professional moron. And then it’ll be a degree program at 1,500 different universities.

Byron’s TV Listings, July 10

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

CTVA - US TV Listings - 1961

G’day, culture fans! Byron the Quokka here, with this weekend’s windfall of wild, wacky, wonderful TV! (I expected that alliteration to work better. Oh, well…)

So break out the eucalyptus leaves and settle in for some great TV viewing. Here are just a few samples.

7:28 P.M.  Ch. 03   THE PRICE IS WRONG!–Game Show

Contestants have to estimate the prices of various items which it would be shameful or even unbearable to own–and whoever’s guess is farthest from the actual price… has to buy it! This week’s celebrity contestants: Chiang Kai-Shek, Pee Wee Herman, Peggy Cass, and Archie from the comic strip. With Chuck Schumer and his orchestra.

7:30 P.M.  Ch. 02   THE HOWARD, HOWARD, & FINE REPORT–News/Discussion

You know them best as the Three Stooges, but they also analyze the news! Join Moe, Larry, and Curly as they apply their special insights to the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Kennedy-Nixon debates, the sad state of the Euro vis-a-vis assorted East Asian currencies, and the survival of the Occitan dialect. Complete with pies and seltzer bottles!

Ch. 16   FEAR NO MAN–Marital Arts

[Hey! Can we please fix that typo?] Martial Arts [Thank you! Sheesh, people are going to wonder about us!]

Sensei Bernie Foolscap demonstrates sure-fire ways to disable an attacker three or four times your size. Also, “How to grin down a grizzly gear” by Master Jim “Stumpy” Watkins. Featured: the June Taylor Dancers.

Ch. 42  MOVIE–Tragedy/Science Fiction

“Them There Big Bugs” (1959) features Chuck Connors as a Trappist monk trying to warn of impending catastrophe without breaking his vows of silence–and now he wishes he’d never taken that vow never to write anything, either. As the big bugs get closer and closer to the unsuspecting town, what will he decide? Abbott Bud: Dean Jagger. Sister Blabbermouth: Gracie Allen. Newspaper Editor: a rather large barrel cactus.

8:06 P.M.  Ch. 21   WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?–Medical

[Never mind, we’re not going to run this–much too controversial!]

Ch. 21  MOVIE–Musical/Nature Documentary

In “Hee-Haw Yo’ Momma” (2018), the cast of a 1967 Hee Haw broadcast is scientifically transported to the future–just in time to help test a new scientific submarine that dives too deep for Artificial Intelligence to bear. Junior: Junior Samples. Buck: A man who looks like Buck Owens. Dr. Facehead: Hao Kum Mee.

Well, that should get you started! It’s supposed to rain a lot this weekend, so good thing we’ve got all this TV lined up, eh? I mean, otherwise we’d have to talk or play games or something.

Anyone for Clue?

 

‘Intellectuals Say the Darnedest Things’ (2013)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

They want to take over America. They want to rule us. And this, God help us, is their brain trust.

Intellectuals Say the Darnedest Things

The unholy mess our country’s in today is our payoff for decades of allowing fools and self-anointed “revolutionaries” to, ahem, “teach” our children.

Yeah, they’re funny. Yes, we laugh at them. But they are communism’s useful idiots, Satan’s pet fools–and the enemy has found them very useful indeed.

Public education: it’s killing us.