AOC: Use Magic to Heat Your Home!

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Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-Twilight Zone) says she’s discovered a whole new way to meet America’s energy needs without harming The Planet “even one little bit!”

“I don’t know why we didn’t think of this before!” she babbled. “Magic! All the energy we need, we can get by magic! Just like in a Harry Potter book! Somebody read me one of those and it made a lot of sense. Like, if you can fly around on brooms because you know the magic spells, with the right spell, you can do anything.”

It’s no secret in Washington that AOC is aiming for higher things–Speaker of the House, the Senate, governor, even the White House. Halfbakednews.com has learned that she has hired “a wise woman” to help her climb the ladder.

“No, no, not a real ladder, silly!” she gushed to an interviewer. “I mean the ladder of power. There is a spell for every rung!

“But we are talking about a new Mandate that will make magic the basis for all energy production in America! Presto–no more pollution! Cars won’t even need engines anymore!”

An extra surtax will be charged for each spell used by persons who are not members of the government, she added.

Yiu Has got To Funnd Me!!

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I has got to get one Of “them” “Go Funnd me” things and yiu has got “to” send munny and i wil tel yiu Why!

Last Nihght this gye at Collidge he showd me this Frogg and sayed he Wuld sel it “to” me four jist $1thousind dolars!!! Well i thinked “that was” a awful lott of munny and he sayed Yaeh “but Its Werth It!”” becose this is a spacial Magickle Frogg,, it “can Grant yiu” Three Whishes!!! al yiu got to do “is” whined it Up!! and it whill aslo bownce Up and Down!

So I assked him watt kynde of whisshes and he sayed “Anny kinde!!” How abote that!!!

Now i been “thinkin” al Day long abote watt whisshes I shuld Whish Four! that is knot so Eazy becose i wil ownly get Three!!! So far i am thinkin i whill whish I winned the Lotary and i whish Hillery she is Pressadint like fourevver!! and aslo mayby I wil whish Donold Trumpt he wil get eat up by Monsters “or” somthing!!! or mayby i wil whish I finish Transitchining into a Wimmin!!! Then i wuld “get” a A! in Gender Studdies!! and mayby my deegree tooo! and then i can “be” a Prefesser!!!!!

And aslo my Imadginery Freind Scrod ze is teling me iff I buyed “two” of them Froggs then “I” wuld get Sicks Whisshes insted of jist Threee! So maybe i bettar get two of thoze Go Funnd Mes!

‘Using Magic to Get Anything You Want’ (2015)

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No, I’m not talking Humanist Manifesto magic–give up your belief in God, put your trust in Science, and you get a perfect world in which everybody’s perpetually happy.

This is, purportedly, real magic. Wishing dust. Spells.

https://leeduigon.com/2015/09/26/using-magic-to-get-anything-you-want/

We have the biggest, costliest, most all-inclusive “education” system in world history… and this is what we’ve got to show for it.