My Newswithviews Column, Nov. 25 (‘What We’re Getting for Our Money’)

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Okay, here it is, the satire that I promised you. Welcome to Commieland!

What We’re Getting for Our Money

See? Right there in the opening sentence, I spilled the beans. But I know that some people are going to believe it anyhow. I did try to make it as ridiculous as I could, while still maintaining a tenuous grasp on reality. But the nooze these days is so spectacularly awful, calling a theme park Commieland seems like something any public school board would be only too happy to do.

Oh–and have the FBI “investigate” us if we complain!

AOC: Use Magic to Heat Your Home!

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Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-Twilight Zone) says she’s discovered a whole new way to meet America’s energy needs without harming The Planet “even one little bit!”

“I don’t know why we didn’t think of this before!” she babbled. “Magic! All the energy we need, we can get by magic! Just like in a Harry Potter book! Somebody read me one of those and it made a lot of sense. Like, if you can fly around on brooms because you know the magic spells, with the right spell, you can do anything.”

It’s no secret in Washington that AOC is aiming for higher things–Speaker of the House, the Senate, governor, even the White House. has learned that she has hired “a wise woman” to help her climb the ladder.

“No, no, not a real ladder, silly!” she gushed to an interviewer. “I mean the ladder of power. There is a spell for every rung!

“But we are talking about a new Mandate that will make magic the basis for all energy production in America! Presto–no more pollution! Cars won’t even need engines anymore!”

An extra surtax will be charged for each spell used by persons who are not members of the government, she added.

My Newswithviews Column, Sept. 16 (‘Dancing on the Brink of Doom’)

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You’ve all seen pix of AOC’s stupid gown by now. Here’s a nice pretty lizard instead.

Let’s face facts: our ruling class is garbage. We are governed by garbage.

You don’t believe me? Check out Alexandria O’Crazy-O-Cortez and her “Tax the Rich” gown at the annual Met gala.

Dancing on the Brink of Doom

All these Far Left Crazy elitists getting together, at $30,000 a ticket, to show off their $30,000 gowns and blather about what an evil oppressor country America is–I mean, are they laughing in our faces or what? We’re supposed to be locked down while they party.

Metropolitan Museum of Art–which includes the art of heaping hypocrisy to the skies.

God’s gonna cut you down…

AOC Update: Free Tickets!

US representative AOC wears Tax The Rich dress to Met Gala 2021. Internet  reacts - Trending News News

How wonderful it is to be a Congresswoman!

How do you get into a $30,000-a-ticket gala on a Congresswoman’s salary?

Well, Alexandria O’Crazy-O-Cortez solved that problem by accepting free tickets to the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s recent exhibition of conspicuous consumption. She has since been made the subject of an ethics complaint (

And how do you afford at $30,000 gown for the occasion, on a Congresswoman’s salary?

Do like O’Crazy-O: “Dress is borrowed!” she explained.

I believe the part about the free tickets. Members of Congress are always scrounging freebies.

I don’t believe the borrowed dress. Like, how would we know if she ever gave it back? She didn’t say borrowed from whom. “Hey, cuz, I got a little party I’m goin’ to on Thursday night–d’ya think I could borrow that ‘Tax the Rich’ dress of yours?” “What, this ole thing? It cost me $30,000 and I think I only wore it once. Of course you can borrow it!”

Rich Congresswomen can live with sky-high taxes… when they’re getting everything for free.

The rest of us don’t have that luxury.

What? A Newswithviews Column?

Understand Me If You Can – Rulla Alani

I have to write this week’s Newswithviews column, like, now… Only what should I write about? I was too sick yesterday even to think about it. I’m somewhat better today, but way behind in my work.

So what’ll it be? (And hurry up about it!) Parents actually sending their kids back to public school, in spite of all they’ve heard about it lately? Like, y’know, California schools teaching kids to worship Aztec gods.

Or maybe Alexandria O’Crazy-O-Cortez showing up at a $30,000-a-ticket New York gala wearing an ugly $34,000 dress with a slogan in barn paint, “Tax the Rich.”  We still don’t know whether she paid to get in.

Whatever I decide, I have to start writing it toot-sweet. So if you’ve got any suggestions or encouragements (which I can always use!), let’s have ’em now.

Towering Leftid Hypocrisy: AOC

Democratic-Socialist congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wore a gown emblazoned with "Tax the Rich" to the 2021 Met Gala.

So they had a “Met gala” the other night in New York City, and socialist nincompoop Alexandria O-Cortez showed up wearing a “Tax the Rich” dress–this at a wing-ding whose tickets cost $30,000 each (

Just beautiful, ain’t it?

None of these mask fascists wore a mask, and the scuttlebutt is that AOC got in without having to pay. That is not hard to believe.

How, how, how did America ever wind up being governed by such a herd of jidrools? There must be something very wrong with our political system.

And that’s all the nooze I’m going to do today. It just makes me feel sicker.


Whopper of the Month: Dems Are ‘Center-Conservative Party’

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Funny–but also dangerous

(Thanks to Susan for the news tip)

Alexandria O’Crazy-O Cortez is back, loopier than ever.

In a Martin Luther King Day speech last week, the socialist genius declared that the Democrat Party is “a center-conservative party” and that “We don’t have a left party in the U.S.” Coulda fooled me. But, she added, they are “working to make that shift happen” (

Oh. And capitalism equals “poverty,” don’t you know. So we’ve gotta shift to socialism. By which they mean communism.

Cortez has endorsed openly-avowed socialist Bernie Sanders for president (first he has to win the Democrat nomination). You know: that weird old guy who has raving Stalinists on his campaign staff who say they want to set up gulags for everyone who isn’t them, meanwhile threatening that cities “will burn” if their guy doesn’t get the nomination.

Why do I cover this stuff?

Because there are people–well-funded, and enthusiastically supported–who are working very hard to undermine our republic and our whole way of life, and “fundamentally transform” America into a socialist basket-case. And you need to know that.

They are all–all–coming at us via the Democrat Party, which is, indeed, a far-left party. We have national elections this year, and God help us if they win.

If you sit out this election, waiting for “the righteous candidate” who never comes, or throw your vote away on some third-party candidate who has absolutely no chance of winning, then you are helping the Democrats.

We can deal with corrupt and useless Republicans later. Job One is to defeat the Democrats so overwhelmingly that it will finish them off once and for all. For good!

What?? ‘Eat the Babies’?

Well, gee, we’ve only got a few months left till the end o’ the world, and all those plans, see, they aren’t fast enough, we can’t wait, even bombing Russia or eating dead people won’t be fast enough–

So…  “We’ve got to eat the babies” to Save The Planet.

This modest proposal was trotted out by a woman wearing a “Save the Planet, Eat the Children” T-shirt at a “town hall” for Congresswoman Alexandria O’Crazy-O Cortez at the Queens Public Library in New York. My wife, not a trusting soul, believes this person was trying to bait Craze into saying something totally stupid. I don’t know. The label on the video says the woman is from a “pro-Trump group” trying to “troll AOC,” but I suppose it’s possible this woman was a genuine fruitcake. Anyway, not even Alexandria O’Crazy-O Cortez is going to say, “Yeah, we gotta eat the babies.” She did say, “fortunately we have more than a few months,” and although we have to “treat the climate crisis with the urgency it presents,” “We are never beyond hope.” AOC shows no sign of suspecting that this kook might not be entirely sincere.

Do you think it’s an altogether good idea for public figures to run around convincing people–especially young people whose minds have been rendered totally defenseless by their, ahem, education–that Doomsday’s just around the corner, holycowwe’reallgonnadie…? Do you think there may be adverse consequences to stampeding people into panic? Like, maybe it’s not such a wise thing to do?

But AOC, Obama, all those twits at the UN, the whole Climbit Change marching and chowder society–by their fruits you shall know them! And if they act like they believe a single word of the sheer crapola that they’re dishing out to us, I’m Spartacus. With their private jet jaunts off to Davos, their stretch limos, their new palaces built three feet off the high tide line–well, boy howdy, if you could harness their hypocrisy, you could replace all the fossil fuels overnight.

Just how crazy do they want their followers to be? And if the needle shoots into the danger zone at the far end of the dial, how do you move it back?

But that’s something that they’ve never thought of.

NPC Satire Singes Democrat Doofus

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You know what a hard time this is for satirists. We make up something goofy and it turns out to be real. Or at least some people believe it to be real.

In their own words, “NPC Daily is a satire site… our content is totally fictitious and is created to elicit laughs and amusement.”

Nevertheless, a lot of people believed it when NPC reported Far Left Crazy Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as saying we should abolish Daylight Savings Time because “the extra hour of sunlight drastically speeds up climate change” (

I admit it: I believed this at first. Why not? She has said America can pay for socialism and the Green New Deal simply by printing up more money. How stupid is that?

But she didn’t say get rid of daylight savings to reduce by an hour a day the amount of sunlight Earth receives. It reminds me of the old joke of the stupid astronaut who was going to be the first to land on the sun: “We won’t get burned up because we’ll go at night!”

It’s hard to invent something so preposterous that no one will believe it, when you’re writing about O’Crazy-O-Cortez. Or the Democrat Party in general. How far out do you have to go before it’s too far out even for them? We are talking about a party that features a Congressman, Hank Johnson, who fears the island of Guam will “tip over and capsize” if we put any more Marines on it.

These nimrods sit up there on Capitol Hill and make public policy for our country. That should worry you. I know it worries me.

Idiot: You’re All ‘Subconscious Racists’

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Yeah, us white folks, we’re all White Supremacists. It’s not just a few dozen skinheads; it’s all of us, all tens of millions of us.

And the worst thing is, we don’t even know we’re White Supremacists! That’s ’cause it’s “dormant,” it’s “subconscious.”

But not to worry! We’ve got liberals to open our eyes for us, confront us with our guilt, and make us sorry that we ever existed!

We’ve got Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. ( Lucky us.

According to this idiot in Congress, 28 years old and going on 14, our subconscious White Supremacy “lies dormant… like a virus,” and it’s gotta be “eradicated.” And our country’s gotta be fundamentally transformed, too.

Ooh-ooh! And there’s a new Democrat thing we’ve all got to feel bad about! It’s “mass incarceration.” By which they mean there are too many urban persons in jail. The reasons for them being there are totally irrelevant to Democrats. Let ’em out and give ’em free stuff! The government will make us Subconscious White Supremacists pay for it.

Lessons to take away from this news item:

Liberals are, for all practical purposes, insane.

Liberals hate you.

They hate your country.

They must never again be allowed to take power in this country. Never. Because the next time they do, they’ll destroy us.