Tag: Byron the Quokka

Don’t Forget, We Take Requests

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G’day! It’s Byron the Quokka, reminding you that we take requests on this blog–prayer requests (most important!), hymn requests, and requests for short excerpts from the Bell Mountain books. We had a nice flurry of those excerpt requests, but then it went away.

My Uncle Sandy, who used to have a judo school until he mislaid his black belt and couldn’t find it, says the reader requests are his favorite things on the blog, much nicer than the stinkin’ nooze. I don’t know what he’d say if the readers requested more news.

Well, I’m now in charge of making sure Lee sees all your requests–it’s something to do until he gives me another comment contest to supervise.

All Right, One More Quokka Picture

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Byron the Quokka writes: Hi! This is me with my dad. His name is Edgar. He is a famous historian. He’s got proof that Queen Guinevere was a quokka! He’s always being asked to give lectures about it, and after the lecture we all have pretzels. He is also able to prove that Camelot was in Australia. I never get tired of hearing all his stories about the quokkas of the Round Table!

If you wonder why this picture shows Dad and me looking through a chain-link fence, well, the fence was there and the guy with the camera was on the wrong side of it. Sometimes they have to put up fences to keep the humans from wandering into trouble. It takes an awful lot of quokkas to pull one human out of a mud-hole.

Byron and His Mom

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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Lee is outside writing The Wind from Heaven, his new book, and he said I could post one more picture here–but just one, he doesn’t want the whole family album.

This is me and my mom. Her name is Francesca. That used to be Robbie the cat’s name, but she didn’t want it so my mom took it. I am supposed to be learning how to run this blog when Lee’s not here. My mom says she always wanted me to be a blogger. A lot of quokkas have blogs, but not many people know that. You’d be surprised how many famous blogs are really quokka blogs.

I guess I will take a break now and see if there are any french fries available.

By Request: Byron’s Baby Picture

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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While I grow older and vegetate in the doctor’s waiting room this morning, we have a request from “Unknowable” for Byron the Quokka’s baby picture. Always happy to oblige, so here it is.

There is, of course, a whole family album to trot out; but Byron eschews celebrity status. I am not sure he knows what “eschews” means. The last time I used that word, he said “Gesundheit.”

Thank You, Byron

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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I didn’t know he knew this, but Byron the Quokka has reminded me that the original Brexit referendum was held in 2016, and three years have gone by with the the government just spinning its wheels.

Theresa May became prime minister in 2017 and promised to carry out the wishes of the people and expedite Britain’s departure from the European Union. So much for government promises.

“You should’ve put that in your post,” says Byron.

“Don’t get a swelled head,” I reply. “I’ll turn you over to readers who think you’re boopable.”

My First Nooze Post!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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I admit I don’t understand humans at all.

Hi! It’s me, Byron the Quokka, and this is my first nooze post. I’ve seen Lee do it hundreds of time–how hard can it be? Even Joe Collidge can do it!

Anyhow, you humans should all watch out because there is an Evolutionary Paradox out there that will do you in if you take pills to grow hair! (https://www.bbc.com/news/health-48396071) As you have probbly guessed, there are no bald quokkas–I mean, would that look weird or what? Like that cool show with William Shatner, all about The Unexplained–

Whew! Caught myself getting sidetracked. Mustn’t do that!

We once found an Evolutionary Paradox here on our island, it was disgusting and all the quokkas were afraid of it. I forget what it was. This one that has just been discovered in the nooze, though, is much worse–for humans, that is. These men with gigantic big muscles and lots and lots of hair, it turns out they can’t buy fertilizer. Something about their wives can’t have babies. Well, we told you that you need a pouch for that, didn’t we? Otherwise there’s no place to put the baby when you’re not using it.

There is also something in the story about “male beauty,” but we quokkas find such discussions to be in very poor taste.

And that’s the morning news! Easy as pie!

Byron’s in Charge

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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I am dreadfully busy today, so I’ve left Byron the Quokka in charge of this blog. He insists he’s up to it. In fact, he says, we’ll probably get more views with him running it. I’m too set in my ways, he says.

Well, all right, here’s his chance. Since the comment contest ended, he’s been itching for something to do, he keeps tugging the cuffs of my pants. I can’t take it anymore.

Can he do it? Can he drum up readership?

We’ll just have to see.

 

And the Winner Is…!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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Yes, we have a comment contest winner! Byron the Quokka kept tugging on my pants-leg to tell me: “And the winner, posting Comment No. 44,000, is Phoebe!” (That’s his cousin, Eliza Williams, in the background. She is the only quokka with a surname.)

Phoebe, you have won an autographed copy of The Temptation (Bell Mountain No. 11), so please email me your mailing address so I can send it out. Byron wants to hand-deliver it, but I had to tell him no, that’s not on–first I’d have to fly him to New Jersey from Australia. We will just have to rely on the U.S. Postal Service.

Shoot! The contest is over. I was enjoying it. Well, we’ll just have to start a new one. Does 47,000 comments sound unreasonable? That’ll give me time to think of a really gaudy prize for No. 50,000.

To all of you who’ve played, thank you, it was fun, and we’ll do it again.

P.S.–Going down the stretch, this contest was very, very close! So if you were one of those readers who just missed, you’ll get a chance to try again.

Countdown to a Contest Winner (plus Byron’s Baby Picture)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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Byron the Quokka is so excited about the impending climax of our comment contest, he has trotted out his baby pictures. That’s him in the pouch. His mother is very proud of him for growing up to be the kind of quokka who can run a comment contest. It turns out quokkas are very found of comment contests and always seem to have one going among themselves.

Anyway, Byron predicts that we’ll have a winner today, before suppertime–so I’d better keep my eyes peeled. It was 87 degrees here yesterday, and now today it’s in the 40s again, so I don’t feel like I’d be much good for anything more challenging than waiting for someone to win the comment contest.

As Byron never tires of saying, “It could be you!”

Comment Contest: Only 50 Left to Go!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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Byron the Quokka has found another bicycle which he wants to offer as the prize to whoever wins our current comment contest. Sorry, Byron, it’s not our bike to give away. The best we can do for a prize is an autographed copy of my new book, The Temptation.

At the moment we have 43,950 comments–just 50 shy of 44,000, just 50 shy of a winner.

The contest is open to everyone, and all comments are eligible except for the following: any comments abusive to anyone else on this site; comments containing profanity or blasphemy; commercials thinly disguised as comments (shame on you!); and comments that are just too inane to be published. Other than that, anything goes.

I’ve got to hand it to Byron: he’s done a good job of running this contest. Who knew quokkas could be such capable administrators? But I don’t think he understands how expensive it would be for me to be giving away bicycles. Money does not loom large in any quokka’s way of life.