It’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference between college students and 5-year-olds.
The “honors dorm” (good grief!) at University of Massachusetts-Amherst is now festooned with Care Bears posters to help students cope with the stresses of life. The Care Bears provide these budding intellectuals with helpful admonitions to eat healthy, get plenty of exercise, relax, think happy thoughts, etc. The young intellectuals might have missed these lessons in kindergarten, amid all the bother about choosing your gender and hating Donald Trump, so they’re getting them now. In college.
A few find this treatment “condescending,” if not downright ridiculous; but to others, says a student, “They think this is the new normal.”
Hello! Wake up, America! You have a gigantic problem looming up, a few years down the road. What is the country supposed to do with tens of thousands of college graduates who have been carefully taught to be completely useless? Better think of something quick!
See, the idea is to help students avoid hearing or reading anything that they might possibly find to be at all distressing. Not knowing what traumatic experiences any one of thousands of students might have had way back, while in his/her/xer cradle, and wishing at all costs to spare them any reminders of such unhappy times, they pretty much have to trigger-warning everything.
True, Shakespeare’s plays do feature every kind of mayhem you can think of, great heaping portions of it; but if it’s going to bother you that much, why study Shakespeare at all?
But it’s not just The Bard. Would you believe it? Even law lectures, about crime, are trigger-warninged so that law students don’t ever have to hear about some of the things that criminals actually do.
One might agree, at no cost to his self-respect, that Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus, featuring rape, murder, mutilation, and cannibalism, is hardly suitable for a dinner theater program. But we are talking about students who grew up playing Zombie Apocalypse all day and watching ‘Game of Thrones’ all night. They might find Titus Andronicus too tame for them.
But then they get to collidge and run around like chickens with their heads cut off because they’ve been taught that they are precious little snowflakes who will melt upon exposure to even the slightest heat. It’s really quite a transformation. I wonder how they do it.
Higher education: making the whole world dumber by the day.