College students need safe space and crying closets, asserted a guest on Tucker Carlson’s show, and also a whole menu of newfangled pronouns… just to get through the day.
Comic Relief: Dueling Cliches
I never felt stressed-out by college–and I made Phi Beta Kappa (good grief, I almost typed “Phi Beta Kafka”! is it an omen?), so I’m officially smart. Either I’m some kind of genius for whom the most difficult intellectual feats are child’s play… or college just isn’t that hard, especially if you’ve figured out how to handle it and do so efficiently.
But it’s hard to figure out anything if you’re Far Left Crazy.
Who says a Ph. D. in Gender Studies is worthless?
The world of archaeology is buzzing with a new theory advanced by Dr. Ringly Fungo, professor of Gender Studies at Hooza University. Who was the great Sphinx? Scholars have puzzled over this for centuries.
Now Dr. Fungo has the answer.
“It’s some guy with a lion’s body!” he declares. “It’s not some lion with a human head. Those were very, very rare!”
But who was it? A pharaoh? A prince? A high priest of Amun-Ra?
“For that information, we have to turn to Superhero Studies,” Dr. Fungo says. “That narrows it down considerable-like. The ancient Egyptians, who were all racists, concealed the statue’s identity. They also gave their superheroes silly names. But it’s either The Mighty Thor–who, it turns out, was a woman–or a superhero from Atlantis named Brandon.”
How did he come to that conclusion?
“You are triggering me with that question!” he replies. “I no longer feel welcome here! I no longer feel affirmed. Don’t even think of following me into my safe space!”
Can you get a degree in stuffed animals?
You’ve got to read Phoebe’s comment today, on “College Crapola Du Jour.” You can find it attached here:
Yes, here we have a major public university providing a “Quiet Room,” which they are not embarrassed to call a “safe space,” complete with stuffed animals, for both students and staff.
Stuffed animals? Say it ain’t so! (“I’m afraid it is, kid.”)
Have we not gone more than far enough with our “Everybody goes to college” experiment? I mean, I like stuffed animals, too–but I never thought of them as part of my education. Especially in college!
Go ahead–try, just try, to prove this ought to play any part in anyone’s so-called “education.”
A University of Michigan professor is on his way out the window because he showed his class a 1965 film, Othello, by Shakespeare, starring Lawrence Olivier… in blackface (https://www.foxnews.com/us/university-of-michigan-professor-othello-film-blackface).
By doing this, the prof violated stupid students’ “safe space.” Sheesh. Didn’t he know that only Democrat politicians are allowed to cavort around in blackface? Ask the governor of Virginia and his minstrel show cronies.
I mean, like, the whole point of the play is that Othello is a black man in a white men’s world, and very, very sensitive about it, etc. So white actors have traditionally played Othello in blackface.
But not to worry! I have found a simple dramatic production fully compatible with the intellects of University of Michigan students. And here it is.
Where can you go where there’s no one richer, better-looking, smarter, or more talented than you? Where nowhere is heard a discouraging word? Or any word at all, for that matter.
The cemetery is the ultimate safe space!
The Ultimate Safe Space
It’s even better than college, because there’s no pressure to do anything. Well, okay, there are colleges like that, too. They come as close to being a graveyard as you can with the inhabitants still technically alive.
And best of all–even after you’re buried, you can still vote!
So… “why did she” take on all that student debt, earning a degree in heaven-knows-what, for some reason they won’t tell us–but why did she go so deep into the hole?
For you, you sucker. Because she wanted to work for you.
I hope you had a barf bag handy.
Yes, those long hours of molding Play-Doh into vaguely familiar shapes, learning newfangled pronouns that your Gender Studies faculty just made up the other day, all those protests, all that cramming for your final exam in Superhero Comic Book Studies, all that tearing your hair out because you didn’t get a trigger warning in advance and the misogyny in The Great Gatsby just knocked you for a loop…
She did it because she wanted to work for you.
And hey, the least you can do, Mr. Employer–oops, oops, my bad! should never say “mister”!–after you’ve hired this brand-new college graduate–who may or may not show up on time, or show up for work at all, on any given day; who will either dissolve into hysterical tears or erupt into fury if she hears anyone say anything she doesn’t like; who will demand that you treat her with kid gloves–the very, very least you can do is…
Help her pay off all that student debt! I mean, it’s only Social Justice! You pay the debt, sunshine! And here’s what you get for it.
At Rollins College, Florida, they all but beheaded a Christian student for objecting to a Muslim instructor’s assertion, made in front of the class, that the crucifixion of Jesus Christ was a hoax ( https://fellowshipoftheminds.com/2017/03/30/floridas-rollins-college-suspends-student-for-disagreeing-with-muslim-instructor-who-said-jesus-crucifixion-was-a-hoax/ ).
Yeah. The Romans were really big on fake crucifixions.
Well, the beheadings won’t come until after the college adopts sharia law; so for the time being, they just suspended the student. Because he disagreed with her claim, the instructor reported him to the “Dean of Safety”–hint: if your college has a Dean of Safety, your college has too much money and too many employees–for the “danger” he was “causing to the campus.”
Danger? Are these people quite all there?
College officials said the student’s remark would “jeopardize the safety and well-being of members of the College community.” I think that answers the question: No, they are not all there.
I wonder what would’ve happened if, instead of speaking out in class, the student had himself gone to the Dean of Safety and accused the instructor of making him feel unsafe. I rather think those jihad wannabes have that effect on a lot of people.
Your tuition dollars at work!
And so we say again, because we must: Parents who love and respect their sons and daughters do not send them to a university to be mal-educated. And I have no idea why they keep on doing it.
(Thanks to Linda for the news tip.)
Hear at Collidge we “are” al exited by what Thay are “doing” At Rosefelt Unavarsity In Chickago making “the” hole Campas into Safe Spaice so That evryboddy in The world thay “can” come to Ammerica! So we whant To Do it tooo!
Thiss it wil reely fix Donold Trumpt and show “him that” he cant keeep noboddy Out Of this here contry! He is so stopid, he dont Know We Are The world and we are “alll” Citruzens Of the world!!! Jist waight till he “Sees” al The Hash Tags wee gots! he wil probbly jist sit downe And criy! Evry Time i send a Emale now it wil Say #YiuAreAlWelkomeHere! Exept for christins and Climbit Change Denyars!
My prefesser he “says it Is” time For thare not “to” be No Nations anyymore jist One Big Nation with One Big Govvermant for evryboddy and i hope pressadint Obamma he wil “be” pressadint of One Big Govvermant and i think Hillery she be pressadint tooo we can Have them Both!!! And aslo Lots of Sciance! becose yiu cant doo nothing With-out a Lot of Sciance.
Wel now I got to “go” and Help Put up sines all over thay say “”Inclusion Has No Boarders”!! One Big Govvermant for Evryboddy In the werld Hear We come!!!!
Today i “was” tellin some stopid Trump guy to jist Shut Up becose “thare” istnt no sutch thing As truth Expecally his stopid bible and he sayed Yeh if “that is so then iff yiu says Nothing Is True then that” saying “it Cant be True neether!”
Wel how can yiu ansser that stopid saying?? Wel of corse i “knowed jist” how to ansser it becose i Am a Interllectural and i sayed “ha-ha Yiu are a Knotsy!” Yiu are aslo “a” biggit And a hatter!!! that shuld have Fixed him but he too stopid to “undderstand” It so then i puntched Him in the noze!! He shuld of Thancked me for that But insted he was eeating a Pye and he shuvved it Rihght in my Face!! and then He puled One “of” my Moth Antenners and OWWW that hurted jist so bad i culdnt Stand it!!!
Neferthless i winned the Argyment by crying becose it hurted a lot and than I runned off to do Play-Doh and lets Jist see him “ansser” that!!! I jist Dare him to treye to come “into mhy” Safe Space!!! But dammit!! that Antenner it Is looose now and al Flopped over!!! so later i wil tel the Humin Rihghts thing abuot what he Done and thay wil Kicke him Out of Collidge!!! he wil Not “be” abel to ague aginst That Loggic!!
This is a reminder that it’s not enough just to win elections. Leftism must be rooted out of every dark corner where it festers–including our overgrown, overpriced, underachieving universities.
Ohio State has offered “safe space” for Inauguration Day, where whimpering students can hang out together and pretend the 2016 election of Donald Trump as president never happened. They will feature “teach-ins”–oh, please–and poetry readings ( http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/30828/ ). And the students will be “taught”–I’m no longer sure that “teaching” is quite the right word for what goes on in college–how to “define social justice,” blah-blah-blah. I guess “justice” is when Democrats win elections and are free to subject America to open borders, high taxes, abortion, transgender bathrooms for little girls and grown men, and all the rest of that social justice stuff.
The universities must be starved into extinction. Cut off the funding! They have way, way, way too much of our money, and they only know how to make mischief with it. Cut this beast down to size! With just a little courage, Republicans in Congress could start cutting back on federal support for the universities. Stop putting our taxes to work at screwing up our country!
And for heaven’s sake, stop sending your sons and daughters there!