Colleges and universities all over the country are scrambling to cleanse their student bodies of “toxic masculinity” ( http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/29757/ )–probably caused by male students’ penchant for having XY chromosomes, and manifesting itself in such symptoms as “domestic terrorism,” lack of “gender fluidity,” an unhealthy interest in sports, and muscles that can be detected without the use of special lenses… according to the experts.
Anyhow, toxic masculinity is a grave threat to–well, something, I don’t know what–and it has to be dealt with before the unthinkable happens.
And what is the unthinkable? For an answer, we turned to Dr. Stephonne Castrati, Dean of Gender Diversity at Girlyman University.
“It’s just so awful, so unthinkable, for a lovely little boy to grow up to be a nasty horrid man!” said Dr. Castrati. “I mean, it’s just too, too much!
“That’s why Girlyman University provides every XY student with an operation which will save him from ever becoming a dirty hairy man in any traditional sense. It does drive up the tuition, but it’s so worth it! And if we get ’em early enough, they can sing in the university choir.”
The university does not like to call these students “eunuchs,” emphasized Dr. Castrati. “We prefer to call them ‘precious cuties saved from the curse of toxic masculinity,'” he said.
America will never become a utopian earthly paradise, he added, for as long as men are men and women are women.
“But our universities are feverishly working to correct that, night and day!” he said. “And we’re making a difference.”