‘Canada’s Thought Police’ (2013)

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Sew enough of this schiff and you’ll be sure to reap it, too.

Canada’s ahead of us in wiping out civil liberties, but now that our FBI has been transformed into the Democrat goon squad, we’re catching up fast.

As for “diversity”–live by the sword, die by the sword. As this rabbi in York found out.

Canada’s Thought Police

He was happy to help the Thought Police stifle anyone who Thought The Wrong Thing or Said The Wrong Thing…

And then, suddenly, it was his turn to be silenced!

They always think they’re gonna be the ones tying the gags, don’t they?

Conservative Gene Found!

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Scientists at Settled Science University have discovered the gene that makes people conservatives.

In a grueling two-day study jointly funded by George Soros and a local panhandler named Bob, scientists have identified a gene which they have named “Gene.” When stimulated by Climate Change, Fox News broadcasts, or too much butter in a dish of pastina, Gene the gene “makes people turn to the biggitry we know as conservatism,” says the study’s leader, Dr. Alexa Bathmat.

“All human beings are genetically political progressives,” she explained. “But when Gene the gene kicks in, it all goes haywire.” The scientists on her team are looking for a cure, she says, but because this gene is located primarily in the coccyx, “It makes it kind of hard to get at.”

Until a cure can be found, the scientists have recommended that in any future elections, Republican votes should not count.

“And as a bonus,” Dr. Bathmat added, “having only one political party is a major step toward true Diversity and Social Justice.”

The Absurdity of ‘Diversity’ and ‘Inclusion’

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I’m trying to make sense out of these twin pillars of liberalism, but it’s tough sledding.

Why must “diversity” be sought out and promoted as an end in itself? Doesn’t life just automatically yield a certain amount of diversity, everywhere you look? So why must it be set up artificially?

How do you maintain “diversity” among ideas and standards which mutually contradict each other? For that matter, why must all cultures, all ideologies, all religious beliefs, be “included” all the time? (Except for Christianity, of course: that’s the one thing that can always be excluded.)

If you must “include” everyone and everything, as all being equally valuable and praiseworthy, and valid, then what about those standards which contradict each other? Theism and atheism can’t both be true. One has to be false. The only way they can be “equal” is if both are false.

This boxful of tosh is the foundation of our Western ruling classes’ ideology.

By comparison, a foundation of mud or sand looks like an improvement.

A Millenial Want Ad

Here is a classified ad taken from today’s Stunata Falls Gazette:

“WORK WANTED: New college grad, 29, BA in Diversity Studies, seeks high-paying no-show job with top firm. Willing to work an hour or two a day on special occasions. Full benefits and early retirement, with lavish pension, a must. Snap me up before someone else does!”

A question I was asking myself today:

Why is “diversity” such a good thing, that must be actively pursued as an end in itself? In fact, given the nature of living things, is it ever possible not to have diversity?

Why do the smartest people in the world talk such claptrap all the time?

Words That Don’t Mean What You Think They Mean

As I rode my bike this morning, I reflected on a few truisms that took me a long time to acquire. I offer them now as a quickie course in understanding our times.

No one goes home poor from Capitol Hill.

When our ruling class talks about our “rights”, they only mean a supposed right to fornicate. Those actually enumerated in the Bill of Rights, they despise and can’t wait to abolish.

When the mayor of your town, the governor of your state, or the high panjandrum of your country describes a project or a policy as “smart,” what he really means is that he and his cronies will make a bundle on it while the public has to live with the consequences.

When they talk about “choice,” they mean only choices that they themselves would make. All others are to be forbidden if possible, or at least made a cause for mockery and persecution.

When they tell you that they want “diversity,” don’t bother to consult a dictionary. To leftids, the word means a strictly enforced uniformity of opinion and behavior. But of course if you didn’t already know that, what hope is there for you?

 

 

A Interllectural He Says Whatt to Doo Abuot Our Nattinal Parks Being Racist

I am hear by poplar deemand today to tel yiu whatt Us interllecturals say whe got to do abuot Our nachonal parks being Racist. Acturely i dont thinke that stopid dop lee he had a bad ideer abot sayin Our innard cittys ouhgjt to be caled Natonal parks that wuld be grate But we got to doo somthing abuot them parkes we alreddy has so that Minorites wil feeel wellcom in them. And aslo get ridd of too much wite peple. So Okay hear’s waht we do.

One, blow up all them wite mail racist heads on Mont Rush More and thay shuld aslo chang the nayme becose thare shuldnt be no monttin naymed after that Big fat Racist Rushh Limbo, thay mustt get rid of al them Wite heads and replase them with Black heads Our Beloved Presdint O’Bomma and His wyfe The First Laddy and aslo Opera Windfree and May be Beyondsay becose Her musick its so grate.

Too, Go inta al the other Parks “and” hang up Speekers on al the Trees and them speekers thay wil Play Rap Musick reel loud! Play it 25-7!

Threee, evry Park it shuld got to have Stores ware the peple can by Lottry tickits and aslo Thay “can” loot the stores anytime thay Want.

And fore, git rid “of” al them Park Rangers becose thay way tooo much like The Polise and nachrally Minorites thay skared the Rangers thay wil shooot them.

Yiu kno waht? them Minorites thay are Luckky that us Interllecturals we are arond to think Up al theese things for them that is becose Whe are alyas the “Friends of” the Opresed and whe are Socail Justiss Worriers whoo fihgjt for there rihghts and we “Make Sure” their is plente of Divversigty and any boddy who is Not diversst thay shuld be shot!!

Too Much Diversity?

A liberal friend of mine–honest, he’s a good guy in spite of his hopelessly wrong ideology–is upset that an ultra-Orthodox Talmud school in England won’t let students enter who are driven to school by their mothers. “The government,” he observes, “says that’s illegal.”

Here we have a picture-perfect demonstration of the irrationality of the Diversity crowd. They’re always saying how they want diversity, and then someone comes along who’s a little too diverse and they want to shut him down. An ultra-Orthodox Talmud school is too much diversity! Not allowed, not allowed!

You can have all the diversity you want, as long as you conform to whatever standards they think you ought to conform to. You can have your ultra-Orthodox Talmud school, as long as you don’t have any of those ultra-Orthodox standards in it.

As long as you let the blob from The Gender Spectrum come in every day and teach the kindergarten kiddies, “You can be a boy one day and a girl the next, depending on how you feel,” well, then, you can have your Talmud school.

If you can’t understand that, welcome to the club.

Feds Go to War Against ‘The Gender Binary’

So you think all that stupid psycho garbage is confined to the colleges and universities?

Wrong!

It always oozes out into the national life, costing untold millions of dollars and making a shambles of the American character. I wonder if the whole point of it is to set up a society that can easily be conquered by Islam.

And so the U.S. Dept. of Labor has gotten into the act, unveiling a new proposal to re-do all its documents and posters–at a cost of several million dollars–to… are you sitting down?–“to avoid the gender binary” ( http://www.nationalreview.com/article/430379/department-labor-anti-discrimination-he-she-pronouns ).

As taught by drooling idiots in colleges throughout the land, the use of the ordinary pronouns “he” and “she” has become taboo. So all the USDL’s printed material must be reprinted, to replace the offending pronouns with gender-neutral language.

What do you want to bet there are more asinine regulations protecting so-called “transgender persons,” and more public statements praising them, than there actually are “transgendered” individuals?

This is the United States government, with our tax dollars, getting involved in academic flim-flam. Removing ordinary English pronouns from all posters in all Labor Dept. facilities–you won’t believe this–is going to provide “an important benefit to society,” according to a Labor Dept. spokesidiot. Oh, really? And what benefit is that?

Anyhow, said the spokesmoron, this expensive and time-consuming project is necessary to reflect “our commitment to diversity.”

The bacillus of Political Correctness aka horseshit always escapes from the colleges and universities to pollute the real world.

It is to our shame that we are governed by such people as this.

Do We Need Affirmative Action Oscars?

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Every year the Motion Picture Academy gives out Oscars for the least awful movies. This year all the libs and the racial grievance industry are complaining because no major nominations went to Our Cherished Minorities–no Least Bad Picture, no Least Bad Actor, no Least Bad Screenplay, etc.

But the Academy also snubbed a perfectly lovely movie now showing at the Sundance Film Festival. Swiss Army Man ( http://variety.com/2016/film/news/daniel-radcliffe-farting-corpse-swiss-army-man-1201686756/ ) is all about a farting corpse. Plus discussions of topics that I really must not mention here.

Surely it would be a better film if some African-American actors were shoehorned into the cast to create Diversity.

Y’know what we need? Affirmative action Oscars, that’s what. Simply determine a formula for what proportion of nominees and award winners must belong to this particular Cherished Minority and dole out nominations and awards accordingly. And then other Cherished Minorities  can get in on it, too–and we will know in advance, every year, which actors and which films, etc., will be nominated and win awards.

Awards like, for instance, Least Lousy Supporting Transgendered African-American Undocumented Immigrant and Visually Challenged Actor in a Wimmins Climate Change Social Justice Drama. It has a certain ring to it, don’t you think?

P.S.–Oh, wait, I know! What could be more simple. Just do what libs do in the public schools and recreation programs: everybody gets an Oscar! The same way everybody gets a trophy just for showing up. What could be better for their self-esteem?

End of problem!

How to Tell if the Book You’re Reading Was Written by a Space Alien

There is concern that beings from other planets are gobbling up publishing opportunities that ought to go to earth people. It’s hard enough getting a book published, without having to compete with interlopers from other worlds.

But before anything can be done about it, we must first learn to recognize books written by aliens. This can be difficult. However, I have studied the matter and I believe the following brief examples will be helpful.

***

The Texan’s eyes glinted in the moonlight as he peered down at what Paiute Bob held in his two hands. He couldn’t stop staring at it.

“Do you know what this is, Bob?” he whispered hoarsely. “Do you know what this is? It’s pure lint! Lint, I tell you! We’re rich, we’re rich–yeee-haaah!”

It should be obvious that no earthling could have written the above.

***

The candidate paused to survey the cheering crowd. It made the rafters ring. And up in the press box, Chris Crock leaned into me and said, “I get a thrill up and down my leg, every time I hear that guy! Don’t you?”

No writer born on this planet would even be able to imagine such abject groupyism on the part of a professional newsman. This is surely from the opposite side of the galaxy, where they simply have no self-respect.

***

Bumbollygon the Elf turned to Plopko the Dwarf. “We must all learn to respect diverse lifestyles,” said the Elf. “Yes,” agreed the Dwarf, “because diversity is everything. Diversity makes me want to do cartwheels.”

Sorry, I can’t go on with this example. You’d think even the most thick-headed publisher would realize that such twaddle is not of this earth. At the very least, you ought to be able to go by your instincts.

***

“Destiny, my love, there is something about me that you must know. I am one hundred and eighty-seven years old.”

“Oh, Josh! I thought you were eighteen, tops.”

“I cannot live without you, my darling.”

“Oh, my poor love! I’m only sixteen–so your first one hundred and seventy-one years of life must have been so lonely!”

“We are soul-mates, Destiny. You don’t mind that I’m a vampire, do you?”

“Of course not, darling. Vampires are just so cool!”

“Then let us go down to my place, my love. And I will show you my Tinker Toy collection…”

Fiction written by space aliens instead of human beings just doesn’t ring true. You could almost bite into the pages and taste the difference.

But don’t do that. You don’t know where they’ve been.