‘How to Stop a Rapist: Use The Force’ (2016)

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See? All you gotta do is hold up your hands, and the bad guys are toast!

A few years ago Western Europe had a rape epidemic; and most of the perps were Muslim “asylum seekers.”

Here’s what one idiot in Finland suggested be done about it.

How to Stop a Rapist: Use ‘The Force’

Yeah! Just do like the Jedi Knights do in Star Wars! The fact that the whole thing is a Hollywood fantasy shouldn’t deter anyone for a moment.

My sensei used to groan when people came to his dojo wanting to learn “them jumpin’, spinnin’ kicks” that they saw all the time in movies. Do people really not understand that movies aren’t real?

But it does offer governments a way to get away with stupid and insane policies that wreck their countries .

Too bad there’s no “Force” that would get them out of office!

Self-Made Buddhist Monk Jailed for Slashing Tires

So, a 45-year-old Yorkshire man, who lives alone in the woods and calls himself a Buddhist monk, accidentally stepped on an insect. Naturally, he then went out and slashed the tires on some 160 cars ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3409765/Buddhist-monk-jailed-162-car-tyre-slashing-rampage-accidentally-stepped-insect.html ), as reported in the Daily Mail.

His defense lawyer told the court that the dude “suffered from some mental health issues in the past.” Gee, ya think? But the judge wasn’t buying it, and sentenced the man to 11 weeks in jail.

Post-Christian culture–get it while it’s hot. The Brits are too cool and sophisticated to believe in Jesus Christ anymore. So they scrabble around for a replacement. Some call themselves believers in “the Jedi Religion” from the Star Wars movies. Others call themselves Buddhists. And you can always find some fat-head who’ll say “I believe in Reason.”

Poor Britain.

Church Offers ‘Star Wars Nativity’

Please, say it ain’t so! I’m afraid it is, kid.

Right here in my home state of New Jersey, a five-church outfit called Liquid Church–is that anything like liquid lunch?–has set up nativity scenes with Star Wars characters instead of the Holy Family ( http://www.phillymag.com/ticket/2015/12/09/star-wars-nativity-new-jersey/ ). Exit Mary, replaced by Princess Leia. Exit Joseph, replaced by Han Solo. And so on.

Why have they done this? Says the pastor, “As a church, we want to be dynamic, engaging, and culturally relevant.”

Sounds like an epitaph to me. Inscription on the tombstone of a dead and buried church: “We were culturally relevant.”

God save us.

Star Wars Umpteen: ‘The Farce Awakens’

Star Wars cookies and  candies await the attentions of a liquidator.

Two months before its release, they’re already calling Star Wars: The Force Awakens, “the biggest movie of all time” ( http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-10-18/-star-wars-force-awakens-tickets-to-go-on-sale-2-months-early )–“they” being the movie’s publicists.

Crikey. That Star Wars franchise is so old, it’s got moss growing on it. If you’re under 35 years old, you weren’t even born before the first Star Wars movie. This will be Star Wars No. 7. It’s been ten years since the last one. Han Solo is gonna need a walker.

And they’re already selling tickets. Tickets to a movie, two months before it comes out.

You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things…

Meanwhile, the “Jedi religion”–something made up by Hollywood screenwriters for a freakin’ movie–is supposedly among the fastest-gr0wing religions in Britain. I wonder how it’s doing here.

At the start of the 21st century, I was in the liquidating business. We were liquidating Star Wars merchandise. That’s where it all ends up, you know–in the liquidator’s bin, to be resold for a few pennies on the dollar.

Somehow our whole culture sounds like it’s about ready for the liquidator.