More Snow–and Then Some

Weather contrasts: Tropical Storm Karen and Winter Storm Atlas

I’m getting it with both barrels today.

First, more snow–my fault, of course, for liking snow. I had to go to the supermarket and stock up for the week. It was still snowing when I got back, so I went outside for my cigar. Somehow that made the snow turn into heavy rain and now we have a slush storm.

And in the adjacent apartment, they’re doing some kind of major construction project, providing us in our apartment with a symphony of loud hammering, loud drilling, and lots of banging around. If you’ve ever tried to write with heavy construction noises as your background music, you’ll know what I’m up against. But Patty has it worse: she’s trying to do our taxes. It sounds like they’re testing helicopter engines in the adjacent kitchen. I was going to write my Newswithviews this afternoon: dream on.

I think I’ll just post another hymn, and then try to go back to reading Sebastian Gorka’s book, which I’m reviewing for Chalcedon.

I hope I don’t go mad. They’ve just started with the power drills again.

I’m Sorry!

Snow plough in Texas

I enjoy watching cats and dogs frolic in the snow. When I was of an age for it, I used to frolic in the snow, too. And what could better than a day or two off from school, on account of snow? Who wants to sit there in the stalag, “learning” about things you’ll never again, not even once, ever even think of, let alone use, when you could be sledding?

I am now what is popularly considered Old. And I can’t help it–I still enjoy the snow. I like watching it come down. I like the way it shuts off the incessant noise we have to live with, here in central Jersey. I like the happy memories it calls up.

Well, certain friends and family members, now that we’ve had more snow than even I would ever ask for, are kind of cheesed off at me, as if the excess snowfall were… well, my fault!

Yeesh! Of course I don’t like being unable to use our cars. Of course I don’t like having to spend money for a cab to take me to the supermarket. And if I, personally, had to shovel the sidewalk around our apartment building–which I used to do, by the way–I wouldn’t like that, either. It might even be dangerous for me to try to do it.

So, to everyone who’s offended by me not hating snow, what can I say? I’m sorry! I can’t help it being a hard winter! I can’t help it if all sorts of “progressive” Swell Ideas like wind turbines, solar panels, and shutting down the Keystone Pipeline turned out to be not to swell ideas, once the weather got seriously bad. Things that work just fine in easy weather might not stay the course in hard weather.

(Don’t forget the DIY Cornish room heater. You might need it! See the archives, or search for it on Youtube.)

And anyway, I don’t blame any of you warm-weather lovers when the temperature goes up into the 90s, do I?

Our Global Warming Snow and Ice

Image result for images of getting car out of snow

We’ve been trying for a week to get Patty’s car out of the ice. Unable to drive, she’s been getting cabin fever. Our neighbor, Josh, shoveled some away the other day and said he thought we might be able to move it today.

Well, I tried. The car got stuck again. I shoveled some more, and then some more–and voila! She finally broke loose. I took it around the block and parked it on the street so Patty could drive us to the supermarket.

Coming home, I suggested we park on the street again, so she could walk on the sidewalk instead of an uneven expanse of frozen snow, and then I’d return the car to our regular parking space–but no, she didn’t think we had to go to all that trouble.

It turned out that we should have. She parked the car all right, but couldn’t manage walking the terrain. She had to try to, though. I followed close behind, so I could catch her if she fell. The ice there is very tricky and I fell there the other day.

So of course she did fall, and off to the side where I couldn’t reach her. “I told you to fall backwards,” I helpfully reminded her. Getting her back on her feet, amid all that slippery ice, was no treat.

She’s going to be sore tomorrow, but she’s all right now.

I’ve loved snow all my life, but too much is too much.

When the Phone Rings at Midnight… and It’s an Idiot

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So it’s midnight last night; we’ve turned the lights out, topped off the cat food, and are about to go upstairs to bed… when the phone rings.

Now, what does it mean when the phone rings at midnight? Someone in your family has died! Or been grossly injured in an accident. Nothing good, that’s for sure. So I pick up the phone.

And it’s our town’s mayor, to tell us that it’s gonna snow tomorrow. This spawn of Cthulhu called us up at twelve o’clock at night to tell us that.

Just what you don’t need–a shot of adrenalin at bedtime.

Yeah, all right–it’s snowing right now. Coming down pretty good. But to send out a robo-call at midnight–you didn’t think the nimrod was sitting at the phone himself, did you?–is just not decent.

We are governed by idiots, and we don’t know how to get rid of them.

Got My Groceries!

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Well, our larder is replenished. What I did was take a cab out to the Stop & Shop and back–under the circumstances, well worth the cost. Now we’ve got enough food to last us well into next week… in case the snow doesn’t melt.

Benny the cabbie provided pleasant conversation. He’s been driving for Metuchen Cab for 25 years. “I’m sure there are more exciting places to drive a cab,” I said, “but who needs that kind of excitement?” And Benny said, “You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen, driving a cab. I could write a book.” Yeah, I’ll bet he could. Things go on in small towns that the local newspaper never gets wind of.

Anyhow, huge load of groceries securied, sun is shining, and I’m bushed. I think I need a cigar.

P.S.–I have just discovered that my neighbor, Josh, took it upon himself to shovel out my car! I could hardly believe my eyes–no way I could’ve done it myself. I used to do those things when I was some years younger–pitch in to get neighbors’ cars shoveled out. Now someone has done it for me.

Bless you, Josh! May the Lord be good to you.

I Couldn’t Do It

Shovel Snow Pile High Resolution Stock Photography and Images - Alamy

Well, the moment of truth has come and gone, and I just couldn’t shovel out Patty’s car: couldn’t even shovel my way to it. We had some freezing rain on top of the snow, and it made the snow very, very heavy.

My wife, my editor, and my neighbor all warned me off taking on this job, so that was a vote of 3-0, the nays have it. I did try, but thought it wise not to try too hard.

I love snow, but this is too much of a good thing. How we’re going to get out to buy groceries is a mystery to me.

Once upon a time, I could’ve done it: twenty years ago or so. Oh, to be 50 again.

Can’t get my blog views up, either. *Sigh*

Teenagers Wanted!

Lazy Billings Teenagers Refuse To Shovel Snow for $10

It has arrived: the moment of truth. The moment I put my boots on and wade out into a foot and a half of snow. The landlord has not plowed our parking lot, nor the driveway, so I’ll have to see what I can do. My wife and my editor have both sternly cautioned me, “Don’t kill yourself out there! People like you, they might keel over…” I chose not to ask for an elaboration of that.

What we need around here, and don’t have, is… teenagers! Half a dozen teens with snow shovels could clear that driveway as quick as boiled asparagus. I know because I was a teenager once. A bunch of us would get together to clear the snow off Tommy’s Pond so everybody in the neighborhood could ice-skate.

Nobody’s going to ask a bunch of 70-somethings to do that.

Really, people need to appreciate teenagers. If they haven’t been turned into chowderheads by public schooling, Hollywood, and social media, they’re bright and lively and a good influence on adults. Good company, too.

Well, dawdle no more. Get out there and shovel.

‘Consensus? What Consensus?’ (2018)

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I’m looking out my window at over a foot of Global Warming snow.

“There’s a consensus!” That civilization causes Global Warming/Climbit Change/Whatever. Yeah, right.

Consensus? What Consensus?

Here’s 485 published scientific papers that say your consensus is all wet.

But Climbit Change treaties and mandates (not legislation–why go to all that trouble?) are a big part of putting us peasants in our place. Our job in this world is to be ruled, herded, ordered about, picked on, terrorized, bullied, and robbed. “Their” job is to do it.

Kowabunga! We’ve Got Snow!

58,679 Blizzard Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images

Actually what we’ve got is two or three years’ worth of snow packed into a single snowstorm. This ain’t supposed to let up till tomorrow.

My wife thinks it might wind up setting a record, but that’d take some doing. I remember one snowstorm in which I had to put on my waders to go outside. Even then, it was up to my hips. And then for some reason, on my way around to the back of our building, I slipped and fell. And forsooth–I couldn’t get up! The snow was too deep, I couldn’t get any purchase. And I wondered, “Yipes, are they gonna find my skeleton here, come spring?”

So records are hard to come by; and in the meantime, I’m just going to enjoy watching the snow come down, and revel in not having to go to any stores. Finish up the blogging, smoke a cigar, watch a movie… I need a rest.