Tag: stupid stuff

My Third Attempt to Get Slippers

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Tiny Ruby Slippers Needle Minder - Etsy

You’ll have to take my word for it that I don’t have preternaturally large feet and flop around like Donald Duck. I have perfectly normal adult male feet.

And I can’t get any [whole strong of expletives] slippers that fit!

Third try, this morning: from Land’s End, a full size larger than what I normally wear. It still doesn’t &^%$%$ fit! Oh, they’re long enough, all right. But the [censored] toes are all squinched up; it’s like they think I have some kind of insect feet.

We used to have shoe stores. Every last one of them is gone, kaput, extinct. How long can I hold my cheap China Walmart slippers together with duct tape?

Why can’t a grown man find slippers that fit? Oh, but that’s a trick question! Much better is THIS QUESTION, courtesy of the Google search page:

How do you know if slippers are too small?

Wow! I dunno! Consult an oracle? Go back to college for a degree in Slipper Studies and hope you’ll learn something?

The question has taxed my faculties. I must lie down.

You Won’t Believe This

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

The 5 Main Options For Australia's AUKUS Nuclear Submarine Deal - Naval News

At least it wasn’t held together with rubber bands and paper clips.

Not to pick on Britain; but when it comes to stupid stuff, they’re racing full-throttle for the bottom.

Inspectors recently found a “flaw” in one of the Royal Navy’s four nuclear submarines. Some bolts broke, heads snapped off, as a result of over-tightening (https://www.businessinsider.in/international/news/a-uk-nuclear-submarine-had-its-broken-bolts-fixed-with-superglue-report-says/articleshow/97529657.cms). The correct procedure, of course,would have been to replace the broken bolts.

Wrong! What somebody did was to glue the broken heads back on with super glue. They caught the error just before the sub’s nuclear reactor was fired up to full power for the first time. Coulda been a trifle messy, don’t you think?

Never before in human history has so much money and effort been spent on “education.”

And look what we’re getting for it.

Can It Get More Asinine Than This?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

539 Quidditch Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images

They have to run around with broomsticks between their legs. Sheesh.

I thought it was a satire when I read about it in Campus Reform–I mean, really: college “quidditch”? (https://campusreform.org/article?id=18707) That’s that game they play in Harry Potter books, in which they zoom around on broomsticks.

But no. There is college quidditch, it’s been around since 2005, and there is not only a U.S. Quidditch organization, but also Major League Quidditch.

And what they want to do now is to change the name of the game because of author J.K. Rowling’s “anti-trans positions in recent years.” Rowling wrote the books and created the game–but no one is allowed to be “anti-trans.” Rowling’s hate crime was to assert that there are only men and women, they are not the same, and there are no other “genders.” Nor can you “change your gender.”

Wow. No wonder they’re so mad at her.

If I were J.K. Rowling, I would say “Fine! You can either stop playing my game altogether, or you can pay me a royalty every time you play it.” But maybe only trans-friendly authors are now allowed control of their own intellectual property. Diversity brooks no dissent.

What are these trans-happy morons getting out of this? Does anybody understand that? Can anyone explain it? Or is it just our civilization gasping out its life in an endless stream of foolishness?

God will save us, somehow.

Shaddoes ‘Thay’ Are Racist!!!!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

What are shadow accounting systems, and should you have one?

This moaning I hadded to “go to” Chareman Mousey Dung Hall to get my Privlidge czecked “and” i runned Into this hear Gye he was Reely Skared!!!!! and he hadded a Ragg and was “try-ing” to wype his Shaddoe off “The” wall!!!!!

He eggsplaned it to me,, “I am “try-ing” to Get ridd Of my Shaddoe and i jist Cant wype it Aweigh”!”!” He jist kepp wyping and wyping And wyping but he coodnt maik “it” Go Aweiy!!!

Natchruly I assked himb wye “he” “was” dooing that and he sayed it’s “becose my Shaddoe it is Racist!!!! I lernt that in a lexture!!! Awl Shaddoes thay “are” racist”!!””

Whell nhow haow cood “that” bee?? I meen, lyke, evry boddy’s Shaddoe thay “Are” awl Black,, rite????? “Yiu must of herd It rong” I sayed,, “yore shaddoe It Is Black and black, it cant be Racist!!!!” Butt he sayed “Shaddoes thay “are” ownly Pre-tenting to be Black!!! It is A “Trick!” So’s we cant Sea themb wen its Darrk!! Thats wen thay go owt and Do thare Racist stuph!!”

I nevver thinked of that befour!!!! And thare was My Shaddoe standin rite neckst To his!!!! And nhow that I thinked of it,, i nevver did sea My Shaddoe wen it was nyte tyme!!”! So of coarse I assked himb, “Has yiu got anether Ragg?? We got to wype ouwt my Shaddoe tooo!””!!

We tryed and tryed butt “we Jist” coodnt doo it!!!!!!!!!!

Shaddoes thay Are Prooof that awl wyte peeple thay are Racists!!!!!!

‘An Invitation to Yoga’ (2017)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Special yoga pants!

My viewership has cratered, these last few days, my computer’s acting up, it’s too cold outside to write–I might as well do yoga. Get my ankle stuck on the back of my neck. Quick, call Rutgers.

An Invitation to Yoga

Yes: while China is dead serious about teaching its college students how to master the sciences–and how to cheat–our colleges are into… yoga. And Beyonce studies. Our professors turn up as guests on NPR babbling about how “white people own time.”

But if we don’t stop doing stupid stuff, it’s Red China who’s going to own time. Red China’s going to own us.

Liberals are happy with all that Chairman Mao stuff. But we are in a race with China, economically and technologically… and the loser will lose big.

Do we still have time for yoga pants and trigger warnings?