Tag: college makes you stupid

We Has Lotts of Ginders!!!!

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Gender chaos leads to societal chaos - Yellowhammer News

[Editor’s Note: Yipes! I got so caught up in my book today, I completely lost track of the time and now I’m late. Almost forgot this week’s Joe Collidge. Don’t everybody howl forlornly at once.]

Whel, whoo cairs about that stopid guy And “his” stopid boock??? Heer at Collidge we got “moar” impotent things To Thinck abote!!!!

We jist fowned Out “fromb” Harverd and that is a Big Fantsy Unavoracity that nhow yiu “can has” A diffrint Gender evry Day!!!!! How grate “is” thatt??? And iff enyboddy Elsse thay get yore Pro-nown wrawng thay “are” “In” Big Trubble!!!!!!

I taiked alll themb Moth Hoarmoan shot to Tern me Into “a” wimmin and nhow It terns out I awlreddy Amb! a wimmin jist becose I saye so!!!!! In facked Harverd thay say yiu can Be “moar” Than one ginder at “the” Saimb Tyme!!!!!! Eevin gender thatt thay got “nl” naims foar Yet!!!

So i amb a “man” And aslo “a” wimmin and aslo sumb-thing Elsse!!!! Mayby i shood caul My Selff “a Schwoomin” oar “a Mumman!”!” And aslo mayby i better Stay Aweiyh fromb wautter or i mite Get pregganint!!!!! And iff yiu eet Rice Chex yiu mite “start” monstrewaiting!!!!! Is that Coool or watt???

This heer it “is” jist so Grate!!!!! Nhow we can Maik Up niew Pro-Nowns that no boddy thay evver herd Of “beafoar” and get themb punnished for Miss Gindering!!!! Didd yiu know “that” Miss Gindering it cain axully kill A Trans Person dedd??!! Thats watt thay say At Harverd!!! so it mussed be triu!!

Sow nhow i amb goingto Fyned Out “moar” Genders i can be,, thare Mussed “be” hunderds of themb Out Thare!!!!!!!!

We Has to Roon Thancks-Giving!!! REPRINT

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How to Avoid a Food Fight This Thanksgiving

Thancks-Giving it shood “Not” be aloud no moar!!!!!

Heer “at” the Stoodint Soviet we has cumpozed a Ee-male and sended It to awl “the” famblies arowned The Collidge to oardur themb “to” Dee-Collinize thare stopid Thancks-Giving dinnor!!! Becose Thancks-Giving it “is” No-Good stinkin holladay that’s awl abuote Shooting Peeple Of Culler!!!!!

Wen the Pillgrimbs thay kame heer fromb Itally or sombplaice thay shooted awl the Indains who come heer Fromb Indier!!!!!! Then thay starrtid Capatolizm!!!! and aslo brung in Religgin!!!! Thay rooned evry-Thing!!!!!!!!!!

So we sayed In our Ee-male “”Haow dair yiu cellarbrate this Badness!?!? Yiu are jist No-Good durty Capatolist Collownolists!!””! We “are” Glaad we done it becose we fouwned Out that awl the skools in Warshingtin DeC thay done “it” too! And thay has got a Equitty Teemb to teech famblies how To Be Mizrable on Thancks-Giving insted “of” hapy!!!!! We shood has “one Of” thoase too!!!

And we thanck Jobydin the Pressadint for maiking this stopid holladay Cost “so” mutch!!! We woont be hapy “un-till” al themb famblies Thay “are” Un-Hapy!!!!!

Becose “thats” Socile Jutstus!!!!!!!!!

A bonus from Joe from 2021  Don’t worry he’ll be here again tomorrow on his usual day!

Danse It Whill Give Us VICTRY!!!!!

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16,100+ Falling Down Stairs Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty ...

I dint do This “on” porpose,”, it jist Sort-Of hapened!!

I was Going “up” the stares in Marks & Angles Haul hear at Collidge and I slipt and fawled–bountsing lyke A freekin “Basskit Balwl”!”!” My hedd it stil hertz! And haff a duzzin other Stodents “thay” Tript “ohver” Me!!!! So thare wast a Big Pyle of us doawn “at” the bottum “of the” Stares!!!!!

And neckst Thing we new, the Stodents doaown thare Thay storted claping And cheerring. Thay thinked It “was” a New Dantse, a spatial dantse to onner themb Dimmacratz in Congrist!!! So we letted themb Thinck So!! Thay evin storted Singeing!!!!!!! “”Awl hale Prissadint Obumma!”! (I luv That sawng, our collidge Raydio stashin thay Play it 24-7!!)!!.

So nhow Moast “of the” stodints heer, thay are fawlling Daown “the” Stares On Porpose and we maid A Viddio “of it” and sended It to Alexander Occasional Cortex and she sendded to us A Pixture of a hoarse’s Hynie!!!!

We stil kneed A Naimb foar the New Dantse!! Most stodints thay caul it “Fawlling Daown The ****ing Stares, Ooch, Ooch, Ow!”” I thingk That “is” A Vary good Naimb!!

I Been Taking LDS! to Git Hi!

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2,269 Old Hippies Stock Photos, High-Res Pictures, and ...

I sined Up “fore” Sumer Skool hear At Collidge,, I hadded to oar Else my fambly wood of maid Me Whork!!!!!! And whork it blows!!!!

We hadded This hear Reely Cool prefesser And “he” toled us that LDS “and” other Psykadellick drogs THAY MAIK YIU LIVE TWYCT AS LONG!!!!! He sayed Look “att me, I amb 175 yeers Oald butt I “look like I amb ownly Halff of that!”!”!” And its frumb Taiking Haloo–uh, Halo?–well, sumbthing Kind “of” drogs Evry Day!!!!!!! He sayed “Iff yiu ferget waht Its cauled, “jist” take a hamful Of difrint drogs and “one Of Themb” it “is” bowned To Be The rite One@!@@

See,, thare reely Is No Limmit “to waht yiu “can” Lurn in Collidge!!! Meenwile I whill jist Keeep takin LDS so I Can Live TWICT as Long!!!!

I aslo need to lurn wair To fynde the Munny for it!!!!

Noarth Chorea IT is Missing!!!!!

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KCNA A Korean Central News Agency photo showing an aerial view of the Wonsan Kalma Coastal Tourist Zone, with dozens of buildings, an empty road and many beach umbrellas on the beachfront

Whoo sayed Noarth Chorea “it” is “not” Paradice? Thay eevin got Giint Hambburgers!!

I cant fynde Noarth Chorea!!! Dammit I was goingto Go “thar”!”! It IS suphosed Tobe necks dore “to” Laik Hopatcong [Editor’s Note: That he spells properly? I give up!] I eevin Jumped “in” To “the” Laik to See “If It” was on The Bottum!!! Dammit I gotted my Intersecks Brah awl “Wett!””

Awl I kn”o”w Now is Noarth Chorea it Is NOT in Neew Jorzy!!!!!! It aint On “the” Mapp!!

Y’know, I got a Supcision THAT Darnold Trumpt HE MOOVED NOARTH CHOREA so we “cant” fynde It enny moar!!!!!!! My moth antenners “thay Are” telling me I better whach Out!! Trumpt he whants To “drownd” evvryboddy Whoo Is Woke!!!!!!!! Duz “he” reely thinck he “Will” getaway whith That???

My frend Hondo he Thincks Noarth Chorea they mooved themb selfs (!) so thay could sneek Up “on” no-good Captillisk countrees lyke Amairicka And Purru!!! Butt yiu caint Bealeave himb “becose” he Is a Idjjit he cAnt Spell!!!!!!!!

Ka-Boom!

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Cartoon Firework Display High-Res Vector Graphic - Getty Images

[They don’t call him Joe Collidge for nothing.]

I thawted to-day Was “the” Forth of July! Indypendints Day! I allmoast cellarbrated it,, and that wood of got Me kicked Out “of” this Spacial Semminar on watt A Giantic Missteak it “was” to decLare our Indypendints “from” Ostria ((or was “it” Sweedin??))!

We nevver shood of Dun It!! Now thay woont Let us joyn the EU!!! Even Syria dont like us!!!!!

Nun of This wood of hapend “if” we keeped Jobydin as pressadint and let himb Keep the Boarders open!! We neeed moar Boarders!!!!

Anywhey, I stil hadded this here Fire Cracker, a reel Big One, I buyed it fromb somb Guy naimed Stumpy, and awl I has to Do nhow is figger Out how to use A Mach to Lite “the” Fuze!!!!!! And then Ka-Boom!!! Blasto!! Pow!!!!

Mayby iff we Blow Up enuff Fire Crackers we can have a Do-Over with that thare Stopid Ellecksion that Darnold Trumpt stoal!!!!!!!!

THIS is collidge Sucksess!!!

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r/CrappyDesign - The absolute crap design of my school. This is the place where every hallway intersects

Wel we dunnit!! Oar Collidge ((dammit I fergot “the” naim!!)) it has suckseeded “beayond” awl expectoratiom!!!! “For” the frist tyme Ever, NOT ONE STODENT HAS GRADURATED!

Thats rite! 1 100 Persant, “awlmost Evry” boddy, thay am Stay ying “In” Collidge four Annether yeer!!!!!! Jist thinck Haow Smartt “we” whill Be!!!!!!!!!! Awl of us!!!!!

Sumb boddy thay sed the Collidge it mite “get a” little “crowdad” iff No One evvery gradurates,,, So “we” Beet themb Up!!! We has themb Locked Up in the coald Stoarage Unick!!!

Sumb day We wil has “a Whole Crunchry” IN COLLIDGE!! A Hole Nayshin “in” Collidge awl “At” Oncet!!!!!

This heer “it Is” “wye” we E-leckted Jobydin!!!!!

 

We Has Got Himb Now!!!!

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Monopoly jail hi-res stock photography and images - Alamy

Ha-ha-had, stopid Lee! I amb Sappozed “to be” heer on Fryday and HE FERGOT!!!!!

Betcha he dint “know” that fergeting sumbthing “lyke That,’. IT IS A HAT CRYME!!!!!! He is goingto Jale and “I” doughnt meen Mayby!!!

We has bin Trying “to” replaice our Kampus Kops whith gyes And wimmins “whoo whil” taik thair Jobb sirius! Sumb-tymes yiu gots “To” bust sumb Hater before he sez Oar dose anny thing!!!!! Thatlle teech “udders” that Yiu Meen Bizzniss!!!

We whil has to lett sumb Peeple Out Of Jale to “maik rhum foar” Haters and Biggits and Trans Fobes and Repubicans!!!!! Darnold Trumpt he whil “be In” Jale tooo!!! and Jobydin he can “be Pressadint” again!!!! Put themb Awl “in” Jale!!!!!

My moth Antenners thay “are” Standiing Up Prowd tooday!!!!!!!!!!

Fawl Doawn ‘The’ Stares to Pro Test!

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16,100+ Falling Down Stairs Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty ...

Yiu May rememember a fiuw Weaks aggo a buntch Of “us” “heer” at Collidge we fawled Down “the” Stares!!!!!

Whel, it Is ketching On!!!! Now thar’ry fawling dhown The Stares at a hole Lot “of” collidges awl Oaver “the” Contry!!!!! And wee woont Stop “untill” Darnold Trumpt he “rezynes” as Pressident and Prezzadint OBOMMER! agreees tobe Pretzerdint again!!!!!!! It is thee Ownly slusion to Owr Promble!!! (Unlest thay jist bring Back Jobydin!!)

Thinck abuoit it, Trumpt!!! That boomboombomp Sownd yiu heer, It “Is” Collidge Stodents the Hoap & Fewture Of Amaricka fawling dohwn Stares “becawse Of yiu”!!” The ownly whay yiu Can “stopp It” Is By KUITTIng!!!!!!

Ill “give” yiu to the Cownt “of” 3 (Threee) and then I whil fawl Dhown “Stares agen””!”

One… two… Uh, waht comes Neckst??

This Heer It Waznt Faire!!!!

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Dunk Tank | Cincinnati A-1 Amusement Party Rentals ...

Heer at Collidge I amb “whorking” foar A Dee-Gree in Ginder Studdies!! And it costs A Lot “of” Munny and yiu Got “to” be reddy to grabb sumb Wen “yiu gots” the Chance!!!!!

One of “the” phratternittys heer, thay Had kynd “of” a Faire and thay kneaded Sumb One “to” sit bye A tubb “of” Water,, “Wee whil Paiy Yiu lots Of dolors” thay sayed, and awl I hased to do was Sit Thare!! So I sitted “on this” heer Bored and neckst Thing “I” knowed, sumb boddy thay “was throing” balls at me And Befour I cood get awaiy, Somb Boddy thay “hitted” THE Targit and THE DAM BORED IT DUMPPED “ME” IN THE WATER!!!!!!!!!!

Whel I was good & mad, and pritty Coaled, too, it whas Coaled Outside and I was awl Wett!!!! Then the Gye he payed me foartyfyve 45 scents!!!!!! And I got To “thinking” “Gee if I doo ‘”this” awl Day Isle has dolors!!!!” Soh I diddit Fore “as lowng As I cood” untill I was jist So Hobbly Coaled, my teeths chattered like crazy, and bits Of me thay turnt Purpul!!!! And I mustof passsed Out, I woak Up “in” the “infirmery” and The Nurst she sayed I whas An Iddjit!!!!!

Hah!!! I has got $1 dolor and 26 scents!!!!!