The Iceman–a murder victim
Once upon a time–feminist wimmin scientists say this, so it must be true–Europe was inhabited by peaceful, gentle, farming communities, supervised by women, goddess-worshiping, who knew neither warfare nor violence. But then along came Mr. Man with his violent, warlike, patriarchal Indo-European nastiness and screwed the whole thing up. Eventually the gentle, peaceful goddess-worshipers were reduced to little pockets of non-Indo-European groups like Basques, Etruscans, and several others. Only a few have survived to this day.
That lost utopia is now called “Old Europe” and serves as a kind of feminist Golden Age.
Hey, remember the Ice Man? The guy who died some 5,300 years ago and wound up frozen in a glacier in the Alps, to be dug up and studied in modern times. The Ice Man is the genuine well-preserved dead body of a person who actually lived in Old Europe. In fact, his is the only well-preserved body left to us from that age.
And guess what: it’s the body of a murder victim. Yup–“Otzi” died from a hard blow to the head and an arrow that pierced one of his arteries (https://www.livescience.com/37311-otzi-iceman-death-clues.html). So, 100% of the bodies we have recovered from Old Europe are those of murder victims. Does that mean theirs was an incredibly violent society, wherein the No. 1 cause of death was murder?
Maybe poor Otzi was iced by transphobes who snuck in from Indo-European country. Or by time-traveling Republicans.
Meanwhile, the whole potentially fascinating study of “Old Europe” has been deeply tainted by feminist fantasy, maybe beyond repair. Guess I’ll just have to study something… well, real.