Tag Archives: Adam and Eve

Uh… Are You Sure About That?

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Nothing wrong with this sign, really–except for its location at the door of one of our local churches. (The actual sign says “Register For The Fall,” but I couldn’t find exactly the right image.)

I thought we all got registered for The Fall when Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden and got kicked out.

Shouldn’t we be signing up for The Redemption instead?


The Oldest Bird?

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That fragmentary skeleton up there is all that remains of a creature which its discoverer says is the oldest known bird–so old, that birds couldn’t possibly have evolved from dinosaurs. This makes him a bad guy and his science “problematic.”

Mr. Nature here, on this extremely humid Fourth of July, along with the “Triassic bird,” Protoavis. Dr. Sankar Chatterjee was a good guy when he was just digging up dinosaurs and thecodonts in the Southwest: but if Protoavis really is a bird, like he says it is, and if it really lived alongside early dinosaurs in the Triassic Period, like he says it did, then a whole lot of pet scientific paradigms and just-so stories have to go down the drain–and scientists hate it when that happens.

As some of you know, I’m a radical agnostic about the age of the earth. Can’t help it: the Bible doesn’t say how long Adam and Eve were in the Garden before they sinned and got expelled, and were made subject to mortality. I suspect it was a very long time indeed.

But one thing’s sure: Protoavis has no business turning up in the Triassic fossil record, it’s unforgivably rude, and Dr. Chatterjee ought to be ashamed of himself. Why, he’ll be doing Climbit Change Denial next!

That funny little sound you hear in the background is Protoavis snickering.


Feminist Theology Babble, Pure Babble

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Ben Shapiro thinks he has discovered “the single most illiterate piece ever written on the Biblical story of Adam and Eve,” (https://www.dailywire.com/news/26947/female-rabbi-publishes-single-stupidest-piece-ben-shapiro) and we must admit it would be hard to beat. “Its central thesis is that God somehow sexually harassed Eve, and that Eve is ‘the first case of #MeToo’.”

Quick, the barf bag!

How could there be any “too” when she was the first and only woman in the world?

This pure crapola has been written by some “female rabbi” who is soon to have a book out on “Walking the Way of the Divine Feminine.” As Shapiro himself admits, “Words fail.”

It’s hard enough to imagine this person as any kind of rabbi, but equally hard to imagine her congregation. She calls God “this man-made figurehead of the patriarchy  [editor’s note: Oh, do please shut up!]…He is a fiction.” Really, what kind of congregation would sit through bilge like that? Had they nothing to throw at her?

She concludes, “Eve, our blessed mother, is saying ‘#MeToo’,” hashtag and all. With the hashtag, no less. Do any of you wonder why I say “#MeToo” is going to burn itself out?

Ben, Ben, faithful Orthodox Jewish brother, we feel your pain. We Christians are lumbered with the same profoundly grotesque feminist theology as are some hopefully small corners of Judaism. See my series of articles about paganism and goddess worship in the churches.

Blasphemy is a sin, and a serious sin at that. Being conformed to the inane and fleeting fashions of this world comes at a price: and there’s gonna be some howling and gnashing of teeth when it’s time to pay.

 


O’Reilly Blames God for Sexual Harassment Accusations

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Former TV commentator Bill O’Reilly, bedeviled by assorted sexual harassment charges, now blames God for his problems.

So he says, “You know, am I mad at God? Yeah, I’m mad at him. I wish I had more protection.” (http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/bill-o-reilly-blames-god-sexual-harassment-allegations-article-1.3584246)

Adam could’ve told him that wouldn’t work. “Well, gee, Lord! The woman that you gave me, she gave me the forbidden fruit, and I did eat.” No dice, Adam: you’re out of the Garden of Eden.

O’Reilly has paid out $32 million to settle accusations made against him by several women, his co-workers at Fox News.

If we assume the charges aren’t true, we must also assume that a number of women conspired to tell these whopping lies about him so they could get their hands on his money. There aren’t many people who believe that. But even if that were so, then the blame ought to fall on the false accusers, not on God: who, having endowed us with free will, made it possible for us to disobey His commandments. Would O’Reilly rather God had created us without free will?

False accusations of this or that are an everyday tool of politics in our glorious 21st century. Is that God’s fault? Or ours? And He has, after all, given us a Savior who can take away our sins–without taking away our free will.

Bill O’Reilly isn’t the first to blame God for his problems, and he won’t be the last.


Blaming God

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The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat…   Genesis 3:12

“Y’see, Lord,” said Adam, “it’s really your fault that we broke your commandment and ate the forbidden fruit. I only did it because the woman that you gave me, she told me to do it! If you hadn’t put this woman in the garden with me–well, not this particular woman!–I never would’ve disobeyed you.” (Eve, at least, didn’t blame God as Adam did. She just blamed the Serpent.)

We hear this argument a lot, especially from liberal Christians who crave the secular world’s approval. We would think it strange if a car thief said, “All right, I’m a thief–so what? That’s how God made me! And Jesus loves me just the way I am! In fact, stealing cars isn’t even really a sin. It’s just the way I live my life. And I live a thief’s life because that’s my truth, that’s the life that God intended for me. So if I steal your car, don’t blame me, blame Him.”

We have not yet reached the stage of moral degeneration where we’ll accept this line of booshwa from a thief. But for every conceivable variety of sexual sin, it sells and a lot of us are buying.

I mean, really…

“Y’know what, Adam,” said the Lord, “I made a mistake! Yup, I see that now. Thank you for pointing out my error to me. It’s all my fault. Not yours, not Eve’s, not even the Serpent’s–gosh, I made a mess of things!”

But that’s not our theology–I hope.


The Anti-Bible Magic Trick

See if you can follow this line of reasoning. I encounter it all the time.

“God does not exist, and the stories told in the Old Testament are not true.

“I hate God for all those terrible things he did in the Old Testament!”

Brilliant, isn’t it? I hate someone who doesn’t exist for doing things that never happened.

“God does not exist, and there never were any such people as Adam and Eve, and never any such place as the Garden of Eden–and I hate God for kicking Adam and Eve out of the Garden.”

What sleight of hand is this? And why do they always get away with it? Like the postmodern collidge prefessers who say, “There is no truth; there is only your truth and my truth and someone else’s truth.  But if you don’t support ‘gay marriage,’ I’ll have you expelled from this university.” But why should we support sodomite “marriage,” or abortion, or amnesty for illegal aliens, or any other left-wing shibboleth if there is no truth? Left-wing causes are always treated as absolute truth by this crowd.

So God, who does not exist, was evil for blasting Sodom and Gomorrah, which never happened because the Bible is just a bunch of stories dreamed up by Jewish priests who wanted to fool people 2,500 years later… Welcome to the Alan Dershowitz school of theology.

People who think like this now control most of the institutions of our society. That’s why those institutions don’t work anymore.

O Lord Our God, remember that these things are done without our consent and against our will!


Abner’s Literary Felony

Here’s how Michelangelo painted it, on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

Successful fantasy author “Abner Doubleday” (not his real name) has, in the series of his novels that I’m reading–novels which he says are dedicated to the glory of God–committed almost every literary offense under the sun. And I’m only halfway through the second book.

But Abner is full of surprises, and yesterday he provoked me to cry out.

If any of you folks out there contemplates writing a fantasy novel, please be guided by these essays.

In addition to packing his novels chock-full of fantasy cliches, Abner has discovered, and indulged in, the vice of allowing the world of here and now to break in on the fantasy and control it.

See, he’s writing novels about the ancient world before the Flood, retelling the early chapters of the Book of Genesis as a comic book without pictures. The villainous evil bad guys (that’s how he’d say it) are supposed to be divine beings who rebelled against God and came to earth as false gods. They are devoid of redeeming features.

Abner has also made them modern, 21st century liberals, only stopping short of giving them names like Barbara Boxer or Barack Obama. But at every opportunity, these beings, these devils, yap about “hope and change” and “fundamental transformation” of the ancient world, do everything in their power to turn all human beings into welfare dependents, invent modern feminism and inflict it on the antediluvian world–I know it’s only a matter of time before he drags in the minimum wage.

As much as I detest liberalism, and loathe all its works, may I be fricaseed if I ever cram it into one of my novels. Our world’s political and social issues have no business cropping up in a fantasy world.

Why not?

Well, obviously, if you suddenly start writing about Climate Change or Income Inequality, the reader is going to remember that he’s not actually in a fantasy world but only reading a stupid book whose author is trying to lecture to him. Any reader with a modicum of self-respect will walk away from it.

But more importantly, the issues specific to our time, no matter how important they are right now, are only fleeting symptoms of the great disease–sin. The great problem is the Fall of Man, which has been with us from the beginning and has taken many forms. In my lifetime, for instance, it was communism in my younger days and Obamaism today.

It doesn’t matter what we call them. They are all aspects of the same thing.

By importing the Democrat Party agenda into the ancient world, Abner has trivialized the far greater issues raised by the Bible–issues which remain the same from Genesis through Revelation. Contemporary liberalism will pass away and be replaced by something else just as bad, and bad for the same reasons.

It all boils down to the same thing.

The Serpent told Eve, “Ye shall be as gods,” if only you’re smart enough to disobey God’s command not to eat of the forbidden fruit. And Eve believed him. And Adam believed Eve, and tried to blame the whole business on God Himself: “The woman that you gave me, Lord, she made me do it…” No wonder the pair of ’em got kicked out of Paradise.

 


Is the Bible Just Stories?

A liberal friend, who professes to be a Christian, often chides me for believing “Bible stories” that simply aren’t true–Adam and Eve, Noah and the Flood, Moses and the Exodus, and more. The stories aren’t true, he says, because Science says they can’t be and Science is always true.

It doesn’t seem to him that he recognizes Science as an authority superior to the word of God. I’m sure he would deny the charge. I know he would say the Bible is “essential truth”–just minus those embarrassing details involving miracles, etc. Like, we all know the witch of Endor didn’t call up Samuel’s ghost for Saul! We all know the walls of Jericho didn’t fall the way it says so in the Bible. Don’t we?

If the Bible is not God’s word, then we don’t have God’s word. Period.

Does the Bible ever use poetic language, or figures of speech, or verbal formulae that are not meant to be taken literally (such as the formula “forty days,” repeated so often in both Testaments)? Yes, it does. The Bible uses every literary device known. When God says “The cattle on a thousand hills are mine,” He doesn’t mean that the rest of the hills, starting with Hill No. 1,001, are none of His concern.

As for Noah’s Flood, I think we are at liberty to interpret that in more than one way. Mockers and scoffers like to demand, “Well, if the Ark landed on Mt. Ararat, how did the kangaroos and the koalas and the emus make it all the way back to Australia? Huh? Huh?”

God’s word does not lie. Neither is it ridiculous. The people living at Noah’s time, somewhere in the Near East, didn’t know from Australia. As far as they were concerned, the Flood truly did cover every land and wipe out all the life upon the earth.

It is not incumbent upon me, or you, to “prove” that the Great Flood actually drowned Australia, Antarctica, or the Americas.

If the choice is only to believe everything the Bible says, taking every word of it with a robotic literal-mindedness, or else to believe everything I’m told by scientists in the name of the great idol, Science–well, that would be an easy choice to make. It would be the Bible, every time.

But God does not demand that we make such a choice.

Only liberals do.


You Don’t Believe In Adam and Eve?

By Lee Duigon
January 12, 2012
NewsWithViews.com

Christian ‘intellectuals’ turn against the Bible

St. Paul wrote to the Christians in Rome, “[L]et God be true, but every man a liar” (Romans 3:4). In other words, folks, who are you going to believe—God, or a human being infected with Original Sin, possessing incomplete and only partly accurate information filtered through his personal prejudices, and subject to every temptation in the world?

Thanks to a heads-up from General T.C. Pinckney’s Baptist Banner, we have heard of a number of “Christian intellectuals”—why is it that every time you hear the word “intellectual,” you know the next thing you’re going to hear will be something really stupid?—who have decided that “science”—another badly abused word—is right, and Evolution is the truth, and that the Bible is hopelessly, totally wrong about the origin of the human race.

As Calvin College theology professor John Schneider put it, before the college sacked him, there never was an Adam, no Eve, no Garden of Eden, no serpent, and no Fall of man. “Evolution,” he told National Public Radio, invoking the magic word, “makes it pretty clear that in nature, and in the moral experience of human beings, there never was any such paradise to be lost.”

Don’t let the door hit you in the can on your way out, professor.

There are, of course, just a few little bitty things that Evolution does not make clear at all.

*How does non-living material suddenly start living in the first place? This has never been observed in nature, and although scientists have tried innumerable times to make it happen in the laboratory, all of those attempts have failed.

*If evolution is a force or a pattern permeating all of nature, why do so many forms of life—most of them, if you count bacteria—never seem to evolve at all? Horseshoe crabs, ferns, cockroaches, etc., have all had, supposedly, jillions of years to evolve into intellectuals, and yet stubbornly persist in being horseshoe crabs, ferns, and cockroaches. (And please, no nasty cracks about intellectuals evolving into cockroaches…)

*As, say, an animal’s forelimb gradually “evolves” into a flipper, at what point does it become useless as either a foreleg or a flipper? Wouldn’t such “halfway-there” animals be gravely handicapped? And if the change happens all at once, how does the mother animal with legs raise a bunch of baby animals with flippers? And where do they find mates so they can reproduce? Really, the whole thing is just too silly for words.

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