Now that Democrat governors are letting armed robbers, rapists, murderers, and car thieves out of jail so they don’t catch the Chinese Communist Death Virus, lots and lots of prison space has been opened up which can be used to confine the real enemies of the people: mis-genderers.
But what if there were a way to make the Hate Crime of mis-gendering… impossible?
I know, I know–liberals would get downhearted if they thought they’d never be able to imprison people for inane pseudo-crimes invented by totally useless academics. Why even be in government if you can’t jail people for no reason?
But making coherent communication impossible might be just as much fun!
The beauty of Canada’s “We hate hate!” regime is that everyone is always guilty! “Hate” is so indistinctly defined, with all sorts of “inadvertent” or even “unconscious” acts included, that trying to get through a day without committing some obscure species of Canadian hate crime is as impossible as operating a New York City restaurant that’s in 100% compliance with the health code.
Liberalism sometimes makes it a real drag to be human.
A store owner in Fungus, New Jersey, has been charged with a hate crime for refusing to sell liquor to a 12-year-old boy who self-identifies as an adult.
Rodney Gesundheit, proprietor of Rod’s Adult Beverages, was arrested by Fungus police after the child signed a complaint. The case has been referred to New Jersey’s Supreme Human Rights Thing, where Mr. Gesundheit is expected to be sentenced to 400 months of sensitivity training.
“Whatever you say you are, that’s what you are!” explained SHRT Commissioner Mordred Drivel. “Except if you self-identify as innocent, of course. We’ve learned the hard way not to get beat by that cop-out.”
Fungus Township Prosecutor Lucy Goosey said, “We had him coming and going. If he’d sold the liquor to a minor, we’d have prosecuted him for that!”
Do we really want to be filling up our jails with persons whose only crime was to use the wrong pronoun, and so offend a Transgendered Person? [Editor’s Note: there is no such thing as a “transgendered person.” There are only persons who say they are transgendered persons.] Oh, sure, it’s a crime, all right. But why should honest armed robbers, carjackers, murderers, and thieves have to share their cells with these hate-crime merchants?
But one thing government can do is actually make it impossible to commit this particular hate-crime! Huh? you say. How? you cry. Simple!
Just plug in this sound every time you need to use a pronoun. It will serve for all possible pronouns. Everybody is able to make this sound, although I have no idea how to spell it. Maybe it can’t be spelled. So let this symbol, (&), represent this sound:
There we have it! What could be easier? “Poor Sandy! Did you hear what happened to (&)? Well, (&) was downstairs and (&) phone rang and when (&) ran up to get it, (&) fell…” As if by magic, all hate-crime pronouns disappear.
Indeed, the same general principle might be applied to ALL objectionable language! “(&) think (&) (&) (&)…”
Surprise, surprise–another fake hate crime. It seems they almost always turn out to be fake, perpetrated by a victim wannabe looking for sympathy, money, or both. Or sometimes just to stir up trouble.
“I was wrong to use the media to perpetrate this story,” said the “gay minister.” Not wrong to be a false spokesman for the word of God. Not wrong to be not only an unrepentant sinner, but one who demands his sin be “celebrated” by the rest of us. Not wrong to fake a crime to bag a windfall of money wrongfully obtained, to help pay off his student debt. Nope–just wrong to flim-flam the media. Oh–and he apologizes to the LBGTQRST community for making them look bad.
Whoever ordained this guy ought to be cast out of the church. Along with him.
I know we shouldn’t be surprised when sinners sin; but there are some sins that are so flagrantly obnoxious that we just can’t help it.
As Mark Steyn observed on the radio today, now the Western world’s assorted victim classes are upset because the “haters” aren’t hating them enough, so they have to manufacture bogus hate crimes, in their never-ending quest to be rewarded for imaginary grievances.
Once you overthrow God’s laws, man’s laws can’t stand for very long.