Memory Lane: ‘Jambalaya’

I remember my father whistling this, and sometimes singing it, while he cut our hair.

Hank Williams scored a hit with Jambalaya in 1952, and it must have remained popular throughout the Fifties or I wouldn’t have remembered it. Every now and then someone else would record it: the Carpenters spring to mind.

Singing about “big fun on the bayou”–I wonder what would happen if anybody came out with a song like that today? Would we suddenly remember that “blameless” and “wholesome” are good things, after all? Or would the wokies shut it down because it’s cis-intersectional or something?

I am so glad I grew up then, and not now.

Memory Lane: My Mother and the Lizards

A green iguana eats lunch at the Tropiquarium of Servion on November...  News Photo - Getty Images

(Note: I watched Mr. Bean this afternoon and am all the better for it.)

I don’t know why, but today I got to reminiscing how my mother fell under the spell of my lizards. Not that she would ever touch one! Heavens no. You would’ve heard the scream…

But that didn’t stop her from walking up and down our florabunda rose hedge with a jar in her hand, catching bugs for my anoles (which they greatly appreciated). And when it came to feeding my iguana, she took pains to prepare really nice salads for him. The lizard in the picture looks a lot like mine, and that lovely salad looks just like the ones she used to make. “Just like Mama used to make” probably doesn’t conjure up visions of happy iguanas chowing down; but to me it does.

Oh, Ma, you were good to my little pets. You would’ve loved those baby fence lizards that we hatched from eggs (with helpful advice from the Staten Island Zoo). Not enough to handle them–but that didn’t really matter, did it?

And no, she didn’t care at all for the thousand tiny praying mantises we hatched out of what we thought was a butterfly cocoon.

Saving Praying Mantises | The Meadowlands Nature Blog

A bridge too far

Memory Lane: Sewing Machines

Sewing machine clipart Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

When I was a boy, I didn’t know a household that didn’t have a sewing machine, nor did I know anybody’s mother who didn’t sew.

I remember sitting on Grandma’s lap as she tried to teach me how to sew. I’m afraid I never quite caught on, but it was fascinating to watch. I especially liked all the nice sock puppets she made for me and my siblings and my cousins.

What happened to all those sewing machines? Do people still have them? I don’t think my mother kept her sewing machine after she’d moved several times.

It was a nice, cozy sound, though, that humming of the sewing machine. I wish I’d been able to learn how to use one.

Memory Lane: Aunt Betty and the Mammoth

261 Woolly Mammoth Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

Aunt Betty, the eldest of my mother’s five sisters, was a nun. She lived and worked in some exotic place called “Pennsylvania,” and every now and then came up for a visit. As a very young child, I found her old-fashioned  black habit… well, it used to scare me.

But Betty was determined to win me over, and that she did. I don’t know where this notion came from, but I believed “Pennsylvania” still had mammoths and that my aunt could somehow get one for me. And she made the mistake of saying she’d see what she could do.

Naturally I expected her to come up with a real, live mammoth all my own. I pestered Grandma about it. And one day Aunt Betty showed up with a mammoth–just for me.

I was disappointed. It was just a little mammoth shape cut from someone’s old fur coat. But what I wouldn’t give to have it now! And once I understood that this little cut-out was the best that she could do, I became very attached to her.

What a mind she had! She knew all the classics, in English and in Latin, and had a gift for talking to you as if you were all grown up already. We grew closer as the years went by. I could listen to her for hours. But she has since gone to her reward, and our next family dinner will be laid out for us in Christ’s Kingdom.

I wonder if she’ll like my books.

Tough Sledding!

It snowed yesterday, I had to clear my car and make a run for supplies… so I gave myself a reward. I went out of my way to visit Tommy’s Pond, my old sledding spot, just to see if anyone were still enjoying it. A man was there with his three kids and two toboggans. He gave me a big smile and I gave it back. Happy memories galore!

Oh, yeah–break out the old Flexible Flyer and hit the slopes! Or you could skate on the pond. Or both. It sure beat sitting there in school all day.

‘How to Keep a Toddler from Going Up the Stairs’ (2018)

The angry dog breed sheltie | Angry dog, Dogs, Sheltie

My grandma had an ingenious turn of mine. How do you keep a toddler from climbing up your steep flight of stairs… without freaking him out?

How to Keep a Toddler from Going Up the Stairs

I run this post now and then as a public service. By the time I was 28 I was convinced that there was no more Mick-Mock.

But this was all long before we entered upon the Golden Age of Fear Porn, brought to you by our Free & Independent Democrat Nooze Media.

Remember–only an authoritarian government can protect you!

Why I Don’t Do This Anymore

I was once a wizard on a pogo stick. I could hop up and down flights of narrow stairs. If my mother had ever seen me doing that–!

But then along comes a video like this one, and all thoughts of ever taking up the pogo stick again go right out the window.

It could happen to you…

I Was on My Way to… Camelot

Note: This post has no business being on a serious nooze site.

I had a most vivid, happy dream the other night. I was hopping down the sidewalk on my old pogo stick, on my way to–well, I couldn’t remember to where, when I woke up. So let me say Camelot. I’d like to visit Camelot.

When I was ten years old or so, I was a grand master of the pogo stick. If my mother ever could’ve seen some of the death-defying tricks I pulled–like hopping up and down the bleachers at the football field, or up and down the stairs, on my pogo stick–she would’ve had conniptions.

Anyway, there I was, boing, boing, boing, and wherever I was going, I couldn’t wait to get there.

I really wonder where it was. I really wonder.

‘O Tannenbaum’

Please pardon the silly cartoon. I wanted this carol in German because I grew up hearing it in German–from my mother, my grandma, and my aunts. Oh, it brings them back to me! But Christmas is a time for remembering.

Excuse me, gotta go wipe my eyes.

‘Memory Lane: Skating in the Woods’ (2016)

See the source image

Grandma Moses knew these places–and painted them for us.

I like to run this piece now and then because I think it’s important to remember things that were good, people and places, squandered riches that we would’ve done well to keep.

Memory Lane: Skating in the Woods

Did I dream of all these places? There’s not a shred of them left. All pulled down, bulldozed, paved over, a perpetual sacrifice to the idol of mere ugliness. No more skating in the woods, because there’s no more woods. And that fabulous wealthy estate that I remember, torn away to make room for another housing development–I may be the only one left who ever knew it had once been there.

We don’t have to do these things.