Tag: Quokka University

Quokka U.: We Need Some Buildings

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50 Quokka Facts: Smiling, Baby-Flinging, Selfie Kings ...

G’day, everybody! Byron the Quokka here, with a progress report on Quokka University. We know you’ve been wondering about it!

So far we’ve got a Latin motto–Ipso loquitur mannimota!–and a bunch of deans, a pick-up sticks team, a big cardboard box for a cafeteria, and we’re still working on a mascot and an official college song. But let’s face it–any college, anywhere, has just got to have some buildings!

Afar hut made of sticks of wood in the south desert of Djibouti ...

Behold! Our first official college building! Crikey Hall! Loosely based on a classic design by that famous architect, Frank Lloyd Fuzzybutt, Crikey Hall will be ideal for lectures, graduation ceremonies, and concerts. We’ve already sent out invitations to a lot of celebrities to be guest lecturers–you won’t have heard of most of them unless you’re a marsupial, but we did ask Tarzan and I really hope he comes here so I can get his autograph.

We still need classrooms, offices for the professors, and dorms for those students who don’t like to sleep outside in the tall grass. We don’t worry much about professors because we aren’t going to offer any courses. As for a mascot, we’re still stuck between a really big stick insect named Otho (who’ll do it for free) and Jimbo the Quokka in his Halloween costume, a cactus. It’s so hard to decide!

Meanwhile, it’s back to work on the comment contest. We’re shooting for 60,000, we have about a thousand left to go, and the winner gets an autographed copy of Lee’s new book, His Mercy Endureth Forever–unless I can get him to spring for a bicycle.

Keep Those Comments Coming!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Where Do Quokkas Live? - Animal Hype

G’day, earthlings! Byron the Quokka here, with another one of those nice bicycles that somebody obviously doesn’t want or they wouldn’t’ve left it just standing here. It’d make a dandy prize for a comment contest winner!

We’re shooting for 60,000 comments, and as of now, we’ve got 58,421, which leaves 1,579 to go. We’re also waiting for Bell Mountain No. 12, His Mercy Endureth Forever, to be published, which really should be any day now. Lee wants to hand out an autographed copy to the winner. I still say the prize should be a bicycle.

Meanwhile, here on Rottnest Island, we’re working hard to make Quokka University a reality. We weren’t going to have any courses at our college, but there are a lot of us who want to study Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney. (I say “Fap!” to that.) But the main thing we’re into just now is trying to choose a mascot. A lot of animals don’t want to be mascots of a college run by other animals–makes ’em feel, I don’t know: put-upon, I guess. I’d like it to be a centaur–half-horse, half-quokka.

We’re open to suggestions, if anybody wants to make any.

Quokka U. Cheerleaders

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Chloe the Quokka on Twitter: "We're excited because we published ...

G’day, everybody! Byron the Quokka reporting.

Y’know, we’re tryin’ to found a college here, and Lee wants me to run another comment contest. And make readers’ birthday announcements! Crikey, I’m glad to do those things, but I think I need an assistant.

Meanwhile, Quokka University is growing by leaps and bounds. See that thing in Cousin Zoozie’s hand? That’s our official and bona fide waddayacallit for our Q.U. pick-up sticks team! Our cheerleaders will wave these and pump up the crowd to sing The Quokka Fight Song, which will intimidate and demoralize our opponents.

Go, Quokkas, fight, fight, fight! Punch and pummel, kick and bite!

Sing no lullabies, tell no lies–

And a hey-na-nonny and a ha-cha-cha!

You’d never believe that was written by anybody but a genius, would you? And what’s a university without a fight song? We haven’t decided whether to offer any courses at our college, but we’ve got a Latin motto and now a fight song, and we’ve hired a couple of deans, so we’re just about ready to open for business.

Will human students need dorms? We’ll be researching that all week. Although why anybody would need anything nicer than a snug nest in the grass, beats me.

P.S.> Here at Quokka U., anyone who wants to be a cheerleader can be one. We don’t care. The more, the merrier!

Quokka U.: Coming Along

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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Ipso loquitur mannimota, everybody! Byron the Quokka here, with the latest news about the creation of Quokka University.

We’ve got our Latin motto, we’ve hired a coach for our pick-up sticks team–she insists on remaining incognito, wherever that is–and we’ve appointed half a dozen deans. For that we did “one potato, two potato.” We make a lot of important decisions that way.

This week we wrestled with the question of whether or not we need to set up a cafeteria. We quokkas eat a lot of leaves and bark, grass, fruit and berries, all of which, well, grow here on Rotnest Island so there’s always something to eat, we don’t have to go looking for it. So a faction led by Aunt Feezy said we didn’t need a cafeteria, but every college I ever heard of has one, so we decided we’d better have one, too. Just in case. Two quokkas named Arnie and Asshurbanipal found this nice big cardboard box that we can use. Just bring some food inside and eat it there. It’ll do for starters.

As for degree programs and courses and things like that, we’re still trying to figure out how many humans we can admit as students and what kind of courses they would like. We want to offer stuff they can’t get in human colleges–and how much should we charge them for it? We don’t use money, so how would they pay for their higher education? Who knew it was so much work to set up a college?

We’re also thinking maybe we won’t have courses. Uncle Ripcord says that would be “real cutting-edge, it’ll probably start a trend.” We shall see!

Meanwhile, we want you all to know we’re putting a good twenty minutes a week into this enterprise and that’s why it’s taking shape so fast.

Quokka U., College Sports Colossus

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G’day! Byron the Quokka here, interviewing a famous college sports personality who may become the first coach of Quokka University’s pick-up sticks team. I have to protect her identity, this is a confidential interview, but the picture’s okay because she’s in disguise. If I told you who she really was, you’d just plain faint. Still, nothing will happen till we can agree on her salary. Quokka U. doesn’t have a lot of money yet. In fact, so far, we have no money at all. But we do have a cool Latin motto, Ipso loquitur mannimota, and that has to count for something.

Oh, there’s so much to do! Who knew that setting up a college would be so much trouble? Well, we’re committed to the pick-up sticks team, we need a bunch of buildings and a stadium, we have to hire professors and somebody to clean up, and someone has suggested we might want to have a jacks team, too. Personally, I’m holding out for a Clue team. Professor Plum in the Lounge with the Candlestick!

And now, on to the next interview. Ipso loquitur, everybody!