Tag Archives: time travel

I Buyed A Time Mashine!

Image result for images of big cardboard box

Wel i has reely did it now!!! I amb going “to” Change The Whorld!!

To day this hear guy he mayjers in Physick and he “says to”” me do i Want to “buy” a Time Mashine! and i say “butt it is jist a Card Bord Box!” and he say “no It only Looks “like a” Card Bord Box acterly it is a Time Mashine and yiu can Travel In Time, i wil Selll it to yiu for jist $5 dollars and than yiu “can” Travel Inta the Futchure!! wel i didnt Have no $5 dollars whitch is becose of Inequallity and i think reel hard and i says Butt “how do i know It werks??” and he sayed Simpal, jist clime in and close It Up afftar yiu and wen yiu come out agian it will be the Futcher!!” and i say OK butt how wil i know its reely the Futchure??

So he shoes me His whatch and sayes “Look waht Time is it now?” butt i am not so Good At “telling Time,” thay didnt teech me it in Gender Studies so i had to ask and he toled me It “is now” 2:12 p.m. jist go in the Box and close it” whitch Is whatt i done and thare I amb in Side the Box and i thohght i was In It “kind of” long but than he sayed “Now opin the Box and clime out and see waht Time it is now” and Holy Cow! “It is 2:15 P.m. yiu has travvled 3 minits inta The Futchure!!”

Wel finely he selled it to me for jist #1 dollar and 26 scents witch was al I had butt now I can travvle into the Futchure!!!! I whanted to Thank him but than he “went Away” reel fast!

And So hear’s waht i amb going to Do!! I amb going to travvle Inta The Futchure and Stop Donold trump from evver being Borne so he cant get Elecktid Pressadint and Hillery she “wil be” Our Pressadint insted!!!

and al them dum and stopid peple whoo vhoted for him Thay wil get a reel supprise that thay wont like!!!


Time Traveler Wrecks Two Businesses–and His Car

If you can’t get a real time machine, like this one from George Pal’s 1960 movie, don’t try it with your car.

Sorry, but I’ve just gotta post this news item.

This past Sunday, a 40-year-old man–old enough to know better? nah–drove his car into a tax preparers’ office and from there into a casket company’s office in a strip mall in Pensacola, Florida. He told police he was attempting to travel through time by driving his car through a “time portal” ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3373459/Man-trying-travel-time-smashes-car-two-Florida-business.html ).

Might he have consumed a bit more science fiction than was good for him? Or maybe he just missed the portal.

There is a strong suspicion that this driver might be a bit tetched, a few oars short of a trireme, but I have another theory.

I think this guy bought into the post-modern creed, energetically promoted by universities and collidges throughout the land, that reality itself is only a social construct. Reality isn’t really real. It’s only whatever you think it is.

The man’s car would tell you otherwise. Gee, talking cars would fit right into this scheme of things.

As an aside–funny, isn’t it, that businesses dealing with death and taxes were right next door to one another.

And aren’t you glad this had nothing to do with your Christmas week?


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