Lawsuit: ‘Sitting Next to Fatty Wrecked My Back’

So you’re flying from Brisbane, Australia, to Dubai on the Persian Gulf, like halfway around the world, and you’ve gotta sit next to this fat guy who’s not only fat, but has a bad cough and fluid oozing from his mouth… (  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/11772741/Air-passenger-suing-for-a-back-injury-caused-by-sitting-next-to-obese-man.html )

Gee, this is getting gross. Sorry about that. But that’s the argument of this passenger’s lawsuit against an Australian airline. He says the experience gave him a back injury.

Yeah, I know: the world is falling apart, and I’m writing about having to sit next to some fat guy on an airplane. Well, it can’t be baby parts for sale all the time, can it? Remember when airline travel was, well… classy? People dressed for it. Just to be on the plane gave you prestige.

I am told it ain’t that way anymore. I haven’t been aboard an airliner since 1976, so what do I know? Back then, I didn’t see anybody barefoot in the cabin, or changing a baby’s diaper on one of those food trays, or any of those other sights I hear about.

Consider the fat guy on the airplane a cultural marker, spilling over into the adjacent seats, noisily coughing–a kind of sign-post on the road to cultural collapse. You shouldn’t even board the plane if you’ve got a bad cough and a contagious disease–but who cares about that stuff anymore? Like the supermarket checkout clerk who comes to work sick and coughs in everybody’s faces.

How that translates into a back injury, I don’t know.


‘Climate Change’ Con Artists Caught Again

We told you so.

Once again, a bunch of “climate scientists”–this time from a federal government weather agency, NOAA–has been caught lying and cheating in order to trick the public into believing in Global Warming ( https://stevengoddard.wordpress.com/2015/07/27/mind-blowing-temperature-fraud-at-noaa/ ).

Because if the public believes in Global Warming, they just may allow the government to do anything and everything to Save the Planet. Like, if we don’t give them huge new powers and allow them to tax our pants off, we’re all gonna die, our cities all gonna be underwater, glub-glug-glub…

So NOAA has tried to build up Global Warming by inventing temperature data. You know–just making it up. They’ve also been caught substituting temperature readings from urban areas for non-readings from rural areas. For those who have been to collidge, urban temperatures are higher than rural temperatures–all that paving, for instance. It has been estimated that some 50 percent of the temperature data cited by NOAA is fictitious.

I know there are true believers out there who still gulp it down when liberal politicians and their pet “scientists” insist that we’ve got Global Warming and everybody on the Plaaanet had better obey them, or else. Never mind that all these Global Warming alarmists zoom around in private jets, live in enormous mansions, and leave “carbon footprints” a thousand times bigger than anybody else’s–and that they don’t act like they believe a single word of what they’re selling.

To have that much faith in government, and so little faith in God–

Is that a tragedy or a farce?


A Reponse to That Stopid Archy Fish Viddio

Ha, that other guy he had to go out so I can get on his blog and protext that archy fish viddio he just posted.

Why aint there a law aginst him talking about God al the time? If he was a interllectural he wuld know ther aint no God. What a dope. Dont he know its Evilution that makes all thes difrent animals and fish? That archy fish is no expection. It Evolved!! into a archy fish and it use to be something else. I think it probly Evolved!! from apes like we did.

Anyway ther shuld be a law so he cant rite no religin, My prefesser he says it viarlates Sepration of Church and State! if you rite about relgion and the goverment shuldnt alow it anymore. We fogt our Revilution War to git rid of religin and now here it is agan.

That guy Lee needs ougt to go back to collidge and learn some eddication.

Ther probly aint even such thing as a archy fish, I bettya christins made it up.


More of God’s Handiwork: The Archer Fish

Hi, Mr. Nature here with more of God’s stuff that really works, even if our stuff that we invented hardly ever works properly.

Behold the archer fish, a native of Australia and Indonesia. How does he get at the tasty bugs crawling out of reach, out of the water? He folds his tongue into a tube and knocks ’em down with a jet of water. As you can see from the video, he’s very accurate.

I wonder… If you had an archer fish in your aquarium, could you train him to squirt people? But that’s an idle thought.

God’s works are all around us, everywhere we look, all testifying to His glory.


Feminists: Air Conditioning ‘a Sexist Plot’

Yes, you read the headline right: a feminist writing for The Washington Post has declared air conditioning “another big, sexist plot” ( http://dailycaller.com/2015/07/25/air-conditioning-is-a-big-sexist-plot-washington-post-investigation-reveals/ ). Indeed, she says, air conditioning is “the Manspreading of Summer ’15.”

Can we have some feminist music to go with that?

[For masochists only–genuine Feminist Music}

Just lately there have been signs that assorted libs ‘n’ progs wish to Save the Planet by taking away your air conditioning. The common people will just have to learn to do without it. If the heat really is too much for them, they can always go to their friendly communal Cooling Center and sleep on a cot.

Liberals get a sexual charge out of stuff like this.

No one but a madman would expect that doing without AC would apply to any but the common herd. Our Beloved Rulers would still enjoy their enormous mansions with central air conditioning, private jets, air-conditioned limos, and cocktails at Davos under the majestic Alps. It’s the least we can do to reward them for Saving the Planet.

Had enough yet, folks?


Satan’s Seat: Detroit

Here is one of the many ruined public buildings in Detroit. Rather large chunks of the city look like this. See how soon you can make your city part of Satan’s kingdom!

Detroit now has exactly what it needs, the answer to its problems, just what the doctor ordered–a nine-foot tall, one ton, bronze statue of… no, not Al Kaline…of Satan ( http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2015/07/25/group-to-unveil-satan-statue-in-detroit-during-largest-public-satanic-ceremony-in-history/ ).

Erecting a statue of Satan in a building called The Satanic Temple may seem like a jejune and sophomoric thing to do–but who better to serve Satan than jejune and sophomoric idiots?

The monstrosity was originally going to be put up in Oklahoma City, but they couldn’t swing it–although they did persuade a “judge” to ban the state capitol’s Ten Commandments monument. But it’s really much more suitable to Detroit. If you want to see what Satan’s kingdom looks like, you can’t go wrong by starting in Detroit.

The ninnies at The Satanic Temple say they are advocates for the separation of church and state. You bet they are. They are also buckling down to fight a great battle against “theocrats.” This shows how it’s a good idea to choose your battles wisely. Theocrats have absolutely no influence whatever on American culture or public policy. No risk of being defeated by them!

So, why not take a few days off to visit Detroit, groove on the lovely urban scenery, and reflect on how long it’ll take for your city to have a great big statue of Satan, too?

Did I mention Detroit is a city ruled lock, stock, and barrel by Democrats?


An Interview With One of My Characters

I’ve seen other authors do this, so I thought I might try it myself. So I wangled this interview with Fnaa, a supporting actor in my Bell Mountain series. Fnaa is only ten years old when he first appears in The Fugitive Prince, so cut him some slack. (Note: I have never before interviewed a fictitious character, but I am told it’s a nice skill to have if you want to work for The New York Times.)

Q: Fnaa, mostly what you do is impersonate King Ryons. In fact, you’re a dead ringer for him–even I can hardly tell the two of you apart.

Fnaa: Well, you should learn how. We don’t want to get stuck because you forgot who’s who.

Q: What’s it like to have a whole city full of people thinking you’re the king–when you aren’t? [long pause] Do you want to stop fidgeting and answer my question?

Fnaa: The little girl who’s a prophet or something, she said I could do it. She said God wouldn’t mind.

Q: But all those people cheering you–isn’t it kind of overwhelming?

Fnaa: What’s ‘overwhelming’?

Q: It means ‘too much to take in all at once,’ overpowering, awesome–

Fnaa: [Rude noise] I know what it means! It’s fun to take the tax money and throw it back to the people on the street. They really go for that! And it’s fun to call those high-and-mighty big shots names like ‘Fatty’ and ‘Baldy.’ Yes, I love all that–but it’s not like I want to do it all the time. Let King Ryons be king for a while.

Q: Didn’t you feel a bit guilty, allowing that good man, Prester Jod, to go on thinking you were King Ryons?

Fnaa: I’ve got to go now.

Q: But we’ve only just started the interview–

[Fnaa ducks back into the book and disappears. He makes one last comment: “If people want to know about this stuff, they ought to read the books! Why don’t you sell them some of your books, dummy? And that was that for the interview. ]


Hymn: ‘Holy, Holy, Holy’

I didn’t understand, when I was in Sunday school, that the imagery of the second verse (“all the saints adore thee, casting down their golden crowns around the glassy sea”) comes directly from the Book of Revelation. The rest of the lyrics also arise from the Bible.

I used to think this was just one of those tedious hymns adults liked to sing when they were showing off.

Now I know better; and as this hymn has been playing itself in my mind these past few days, I thought I’d like to share it with you.


Nobody’s Listening

So I go to White Castle and order hamburgers with no ketchup. Hanging on my every word, the sales clerk types in, “No Pickle.”

My wife wants a particular kind of Vitamin B syrup. Our local health food store is out of it. So she phones another store and reads the specifications, and the clerk responds with a chirpy, “We’ve got it right here!” Ten miles and forty-five minutes later, we discover that “it” was not “it” after all, but another product entirely different from the one my wife requested. We had to take it back.

We order Chinese food. Chicken dumplings. The restaurant we order from every week makes nice chicken dumplings, nice and light. I bring home the order and we’ve got pork dumplings. Heavy pork dumplings.

Italian restaurant. My wife orders a single order of spaghetti with only a little bit of sauce. The guy who takes the order interprets that to mean a ton of spaghetti drowning in thick glops of sauce.

There you have it: all within a single week, four different businesses, and all four of them getting the order wrong. Whether you tell them what you want face-to-face or over the phone, they simply aren’t listening. The failure rate in this sample is 100%. If we had tried to place four more orders with four more businesses, I wonder if even one of them would have bothered to get it right.

Why is no one listening? How did “The customer is always right” morph into “The customer can go cly himself”? And how does anyone stay in business, with that attitude?


Even More Disgusting: Fake Abortions for Homosexuals

Yes, I know this picture of a cat playing with a snowman has absolutely nothing to do with the putrid subject matter of my post below. It’s just a nice picture. Enjoy it while sanity is still allowed.

Here is another news story that I can’t much quote from. I mean, this is supposed to be a Christian blog. You may find it very hard to believe this story, but I’m afraid it’s true.

A top-of-the-line abortion center is now offering”simulated abortions” to homosexual men ( http://dailycaller.com/2015/04/01/elite-abortion-clinic-now-offers-sim-abortions-for-gay-men/ ). We are not told how much they have to pay for the experience.

Here’s one quote I think I can get away with. The one sodomite says his whatever “is so, so special to me, and we both agree that having the right to choose is incredibly important. We shouldn’t lose the ability to affirm that choice simply because we’re gay.”

My wife thinks I’m making this stuff up. I wish it were so.

How do they perform a simulated abortion on a homosexual man?

I would rather not say. Use your imagination.

“They really wanted to understand what women have to go through in less progressive states that don’t respect the right to choose,” said another tulip quoted in the article. He is, perhaps, unaware that in not one of the 50 states is abortion banned. Maybe he thinks it is, somewhere in the other seven.

The owner of the clinic says they’ve been contacted by abortion mills in four other states, asking for advice on how to get started in the gay male abortion business.

But let’s look on the bright side–at least a baby isn’t getting killed.

We hope

Oops! It ain’t true.

The article to which I linked is a satire. It’s even labeled “SATIRE,” right under the picture of the two men–and my eye skipped over it without seeing it.

Why was it so easy for me to believe this phony story? Uh, possibly because the time we’re living in abounds with such stories, and most of them are true.

So here I am, retracting it, because the story isn’t true, it was just a gag, and I was taken in by it. I apologize for that. As someone who has been known to write and publish a satire or two of his own, I’m used to people being hoodwinked by stories I made up, thinking no one could possibly fail to see they were put-ons.

This time it was my turn to be fooled.

Until someone who owns an abortion mill reads this satire and decides it really is a good idea, after all… and it comes true..


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