Hobbits, Orcs Colonize New Jersey

Well, okay, maybe that headline’s just a tad misleading. The Orcs, after all, have been here all along.

I’ve begun re-reading The Lord of the Rings (how many times have I read it? I dunno–who’s counting?), and such is the power of Tolkien’s storytelling, I can almost look out my window and expect to see a hobbit.

The great thing about this big, meaty fantasy is that every time you read it, you see something new that you haven’t seen before. For me, this time, I could just about really see Bilbo’s final birthday party: just like I was really there.

Wow.

My New Cover

Yesterday I saw Kirk DouPonce’s cover art for The Glass Bridge, Book #7 of my Bell Mountain series. (I would love to see it released in time for Christmas, but that probably isn’t a realistic timetable.) It shows Gurun in the prow of a boat, peering through the rain…

This time Kirk has hit the bulls-eye in the bulls-eye. I don’t know how he does it, but the girl on the cover of that book is Gurun, to the life. Exactly as I imagined her! It’s a gorgeous cover, and I’ll try to have it posted here tomorrow so you can all see it.

We imagine. God creates. He was supremely wise to limit us, while at the same time creating us in His image. So we can enjoy imitating Him.

It’s only when we begin to think we can replace Him that we get in trouble.


Venomous Liberals

A liberal colleague has asked me why I don’t seem to have any liberal comments on my blog.

I do have a few; but the reason I have so few is that almost all of them that come in are foul-mouthed, abusive, hateful, and unedifying. There is absolutely no reason to publish them.

I would never waste my time writing to a left-wing blogger to curse him, call him names, etc. I don’t know why libs do this. Some of their messages are so over-the-top, I wonder what would happen to their authors if you sprinkled them with holy water.

There are a few clues to help us understand what’s going on:

*The Democrat Convention loudly booing God, 2012

*Pro-abortion marchers chanting “Hail, Satan!”

*Current proposals to celebrate the Black Mass in various cities throughout the country.

I guess there’s nothing to do but pray for the conversion of these people by the Holy Spirit, however many of them might be saved. But I think we must remember that there are those who don’t want to be saved; and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard from some of them.


I’ve Finished Writing ‘The Temple’

The story that’s been my constant companion since the beginning of April, Book #8 of my Bell Mountain series, is told. Well, it’s written down, and there’s no more to write. It’ll be months and months before the next book begins to take form.

This story, The Temple, is about what happens when people have to choose between a temple they can see and a temple they can only believe in. It contains the usual mix of heroic deeds, base villainies, murders, miracles, and weird animals. All I’ve gotta do is type up the last few chapters and send them to my editor.

It’s like your baby grows up and leaves home. I hardly know what to do with myself, once a book is finished.

Meanwhile Book #7, The Glass Bridge, is ready for final editing, and artist Kirk DouPonce has told me he’ll have the cover ready in another few days. I can’t wait to see it. I was hoping The Glass Bridge would be published in time for Christmas, but I doubt we’ll manage it.

And so, back to what we laughingly call reality…

We got another email today from the stoneheads behind The People’s Climate March, urging us to turn up in New York this weekend so they can give us little green hats to wear while we take to the streets to demand higher taxes to Save the Planet. This’ll be a special “Robin Hood tax” that’ll only rob rich corporations who deserve it. And of course the poor simpletons who run the corporations will never, never, never pass their increased costs on to the consumer, so that the tax in effect falls on the consumer–no, they’ll just sit in a corner drooling on themselves until they go out of business.

Lord, deliver us from brain-dead liberals.


Your Tuition Dollars at Work: University Pries into Students’ Sex Lives

As part of some kind of administrative shell game, one of our great universities–Clemson U., in the not-as-red-as-you-thought state of South Carolina–has brought forth a survey demanding details of its respondents’ sex lives. Completion of the survey was mandatory for all students, faculty, and staff ( http://www.campusreform.org/?ID=5923 ).

Update attached: Having been found out, Clemson has suspended this requirement.

Well, what was it worth? What kind of schmo tells nosy bureaucrats the truth about his sex life?

One question, for instance, asked, “How many times have you had sex (including oral) in the last 3 months?”

Here are some possible answers, none of which can be proved either true or false.

“Oh, gee–I wasn’t counting!”

“Roughly 20 times a day. That’s the price I pay for being a chick magnet.”

“More times than you, dude.”

Individuals committed to sexual purity might choose to lie, reckoning that if you tried to tell these humanists that you have not had sex outside of marriage, they will think there’s something subversive about you and maybe kick you out of college.

The answer you were not allowed to give was “None of your @#$%$ business, you perverted creep.”

There being absolutely no way to verify the information received, of what possible use was such a survey?

The modern university–where minds and morals go to die.

 


Incredible Beliefs

In communicating with liberals–yes, I actually do that–I am often astounded by the fantastic things which they believe. And those are the nice liberals with whom you can carry on a conversation. There are many more of the other kind.

They sneer at us for believing Adam and Eve really existed. But check out some of their beliefs, which I have collected from real persons. At least, I think they’re real.

“John Kerry was a genuine war hero.”

“Creating gigantic government bureaucracies will protect us from Global Warming.” Not to mention believing in Global Warming in the first place.

“Hillary Clinton is a genius.” “Al Gore is a genius.” “Barack Obama is a genius.” What the heck, they’re all Mensa candidates.

“Communism would be a big success if we gave it half a chance.”

“Rachel Maddow is an oracle of truth.”

“A strong government can create Income Equality throughout the city/state/country/planet/galaxy…”

And so on. You wouldn’t think it possible that anyone capable of fogging a mirror could actually believe any of the above; but then you probably haven’t calculated for the effect of a modern education. It’s amazing, what unionized teachers can do to the human mind! Soon they will be able to erase it altogether.

I’m On the Radio Tomorrow

I’ll be on Mike Fagan’s talk show out of Spokane, Washington, at 9 a.m. Pacific Time (12 noon Eastern), RIGHT Spokane Perspective,on the American Christian Network. To listen on your computer, go to http://www.acn.cc and click on the Liberty Bell at the top of the page.

These gigs always make me nervous because I never know what the questions are going to be until I’m asked them. I’m almost afraid to tune in and see how I did.


Goddess Girls?

I’m always looking for Young Adults fiction that I can recommend as fun, wholesome, and edifying. What I’m not always doing is finding it.

This morning, in a catalog, I stumbled over a series of books I’d never heard of, The Goddess Girls. These tell stories of “privileged tween students attending Mount Olympus Academy to develop their divine skills…” That is to say, they’re all goddesses from Greek mythology.

What do the goddesses do? They seem to be teenagers. They go to school–please tell me why any American teen would ever want to read about school–where they have crushes on the teen gods and try to fit in. Of Persephone, for one, we read, “Her crush is Hades, the godboy of death.”

“Godboy of death?” Am I the only one who sees something not-so-wholesome here?

Two objections. First, I thought fantasy was supposed to provide the reader with escape from places like middle school–not keep dumping you back into it. I mean, crushes? You want to read about crushes? Fooey.

Also, I see a danger: in trivializing the old pagan gods, perhaps the books will dispose the undiscerning reader to trivialize God Himself, the living God. Athena, Aphrodite, et al were false goddesses. I suppose I once would have seen this all as harmless fluff, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe false gods are better left alone. If Christians ought to make fun of them, then I think St. Paul would have set us an example. But he didn’t. Somehow it makes me uneasy, the idea of kicking dead false gods around.

And so, in search of half-decent fantasy that doesn’t rot your mind, my quest continues…


The People’s Climate March (Can I Wake Up Now, Please?)

Yesterday they got 20 inches of snow in Wyoming, and the day before it snowed in South Dakota and Colorado. Here in New Jersey this morning, it was only 41 degrees. And according to the calendar, it’s still summer!

Oh–and both the Arctic and Antarctic ice fields are growing big, big, big…

But never mind all that! The real problem is Global Warming! And so, later this month (Sept. 21), in collusion with the UN Climate Summit, complete with poetess and Global Warming poems, we’ll have… The People’s Climate March.

Got a barf bag handy? Well, you’d better get one, because I’m going to quote from their press release. Take a deep breath; here goes.

“This is an invitation to change everything. In September, world leaders are coming to New York City for a UN summit on the climate crisis. UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon is urging governments to support an ambitious global agreement to dramatically reduce global warming. [Editor's note--It's reducing itself, you numbskulls.]

“With our future on the ljne and the whole world watching, we’ll take a stand to bend the course of history. We’ll take to the streets to demand the world we know is within our reach: a world with an economy that works for people and the planet; a world safe from the ravages of climate change; a world with good jobs, clean air and water, and healthy communities.”

Remember, comrades: The People’s Climate March is “centered on justice… committed to principles of environmental justice and equality–representing the communities that are being hit the hardest by climate change.” ( http://peoplesclimate.org/march/ )

If you were playing Drivel Bingo while reading this, you just won.

Really, how many left-wing cliches can you stuff into a single press release?

Do these jidrools really, truly think that governments can control the weather? Just give the whoopee crowd enough power over your lives, and all your money–and they’ll stop those earthquakes, volcanoes, droughts, floods, hurricanes, etc. What kind of pagan putz believes that?

Oh–and they’ll make everybody equal, too. Will they make my income equal to Nancy Pelosi’s, or her income equal to mine?


Remember King Whatsisname

I have re-entered the Book of Judges in my Bible-reading, and yesterday the name Chushanrishathaim (in Judges 3:8-9) jumped out at me. He is mentioned as a “king of Mesopotamia” who oppressed Israel and was overthrown by Israel’s first judge, Othniel, the nephew of Caleb.

It isn’t every day you run across a name like this. It consists of two elements: a proper name, “Chushan,” which can also be rendered “Cush,” and relates either to a region north of Babylon or south of Egypt; and a kind of title, “Rishathaim,” which, in ancient times, meant “double wickedness,” and also could mean “governor of two presidencies,” or both at once. So the name belongs to a powerful bad guy named “Chushan” or “Cush” who came into Israel from, probably, somewhere to the north of Babylon.

If we could pin the man down more precisely, we might have a shot at getting a firm date for the beginning of the period of the Judges. But no such luck. The Book of Judges harks back to a very unsettled era from which little hard information has come down to us from non-Biblical sources–kind of like the 5th and 6th centuries in Britain. The Bible is not concerned with events in Egypt and Babylon; and they had troubles aplenty of their own.

As I pursued my research, I came upon a website called “Names of Cute Baby’s [sic]” ( http://namesof.com/name-Chushanrishathaim ). If you want to name your baby “Chushanrishathaim,” they’ll teach you where the name comes from, what it means, and how to pronounce it.

“What should we name our baby, dear?”

“Oh, I dunno. How about Chushanrishathaim?”

“Oh, I like that! It has a certain ring to it! Wasn’t he on Dancing With the Stars?”

Why in the world would you want to name your baby Chushanrishathaim? It was bad enough when every other baby boy was being named Zack, and baby girls got stuck with names like Cadence and Destiny. But Chushanrishathaim is going a bit too far.

What ever happened to names like Tommy and Susan?

 


Fantasy Tool Kit (3): Your Fantasy World

It may take several posts to cover this issue, but that way I can always stop if no one’s reading them.

I wish to make it clear that by “fantasy world,” I don’t mean the divorces from reality and common sense routinely indulged in by our leaders and opinion-shapers, dopes and twaddlers. Nancy Pelosi can gas all she wants about an America where everybody’s on the dole and all sitting around composing symphonies and painting landscapes. This makes clear the distinction between fantasy and B.S.

A fantasy world is a world imagined by the story-teller, in which the story happens. You can also set your fantasies in what your readers would recognize as the real world. But it’s fun to make up a whole new world.

I wonder if you’ve noticed something about “other-world fantasy.” When a hobbit has to have his appendix out, what does he do? Tolkien didn’t say. The Shire, as he imagined and described it, had no hospitals, no dentists, and no taxes. Well, he did say it was fantasy, didn’t he?

These are the kind of details no one ever seems to include in a fantasy world. All right, who wants to read about having a toothache and going to the dentist? One of the reasons we read fantasy is to escape the annoyances and burdens of the real world.

Would it work, do you think, if a fantasy story did include such things?

I doubt it.

The first step in creating an other-world fantasy is to imagine a world, or setting, which you will enjoy writing about and others will enjoy reading about.

But if you’re just going to flap your jaw and not write anything, you might as well teach college.

 


DC School Assigns Kids to Compare Bush to Hitler

What more can we say of public education? Never in the field of human endeavor has so much money been spent for so little.

Today’s public schooling scandal comes to us from Washington, D.C., where 6th-graders at McKinley Middle School were assigned to write an essay comparing President George W. Bush–whom most Americans voted for–to Adolf Hitler ( http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/09/11/sixth-grade-school-assignment-ask-students-to-compare-bush-to-hitler/?icid=maing-grid7%7Clegacy%7Cdl24%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D527957 ).

Gee, I wonder what people would think if I were a public school teacher and I asked my 6th-graders to write an essay comparing the current occupant of the White House to a hollowed-out pumpkin going rotten. But I digress.

The head honcho of the DC public schools, Chancellor Kaya Henderson, dealt with the controversy by posting this gem on Twitter. On Twitter, mind you:

“No DPCS curriculum says 2 make these comparisons in any way. Teacher used poor judgment & will apologize.”

It’s almost worth having the problem, to get a chance to read such deathless prose.

Anyhow, the old “Bush = Hitler” formula, so dear to the hearts of liberal amoebas, is not exactly hard to find among public “educators.” It’s certainly easier to find than something like “Speed = Distance/Time,” or “Area = Length X Width.” Unionized teachers can’t be bothered with that old stuff. They are (trumpet fanfare, please) change agents, out to fundamentally transform America into a workers’ paradise by turning whole generations of children into idiots.

Will the teacher who cooked up this assignment be fired?

Now that really is a stupid question!


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