Category: Just for Fun

Byron’s TV Listings, Feb. 22

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

TV Guide June 29, 1970 S. Florida daytime - Retro TV ...

G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Have we got TV for you this weekend! Byron the Quokka here–with a small sample of what Quokka University has lined up for you. Let’s get started!

Saturday

6:46 a.m., Ch. 42  THE BUNDLES!–Paranormal suspense thriller

They twitch. They shift their position when no one’s looking. They make funny noises. Can super-detective Fong Hsueh-ting crack the case before it cracks him? Tonight: The bundles turn up in Mrs. Fogg’s (Peggy Cass) linen closet and get her charged with witchcraft. Sister Mucilage: Linda Hunt

11:00 a.m., Ch. 14  THE POPPY GULUMPHO SHOW–Variety of a very low order

The Cross-Eyed Chorus! Dog sings Dixie! Boy who thinks he’s a bat! Poppy’s got ’em all–even after being banished from all the major networks. Featuring Doc Trotsky and his People’s Revolting Band.

3:11 p.m.  Ch. 56  I’VE GOT A SHAMEFUL SECRET–Sort of a reality show

Can host Sylvia Algae’s team of crack busybodies ferret out the most shameful secrets among the studio audience? The whole country’s still buzzing about that guy who peed the rug when he was 26 years old and got his nephew blamed for it. Boo, hiss!

4 p.m.  Ch. 08  NOSY AUNT FIFI–Melodrama (with obnoxious organ music)

Nosy Aunt Fifi (Sharon Sharalike) bites off more than she can chew when she pokes her nose into the diaries of local Mafia chieftain Vinnie “the Protozoan” Colooch (Wade Boggs). Has her luck run out? Song: My Coccyx Feels Funny.

There! That should get you started.

Quokka Spotting | How & Where to See Rottnest Island's Quokkas

Waiting for my ship to come in! Byron the Quokka, signing off.

 

So Where’s the Cyclops?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Oy Rodney – Lee Duigon

[Holy moly, I am tired! Can I finish the post, d’you think?]

There’s supposed to be a cyclops terrorizing Scurveyshire, and a woolly mammoth stampede, and newts (Yes, newts). Violet Crepuscular, the Queen of Suspense, has a hefty bag of tricks.

Everybody’s holed up in Coldsore Hall. Outside, the June Taylor Dancers make whoopee with the mammoths. But I can’t find the cyclops!

Cyclops hi-res stock photography and images - Alamy

See? This is what I’m looking for. Violet has misplaced her cyclops. It could happen to anyone.

And now I think I need a rest.

 

 

Byron’s TV Listings, Feb. 16

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

TV Guide Magazine Covers Celebrate Daytime Soap Operas - Daytime Confidential

Poor old Leester–missed Valentine’s Day. Well, let’s bring it back! Courtesy of Quokka Uniiversity.

2 p.m.  Ch. 03   THEY’VE GOT MY GOAT!–Melodrama (kung-fu added)

You train your goat, Osbert. to do all these spectacular tricks… And then the Iron Boat Clan comes along and kidnaps him! Ma-Foo Yi: Soupy Sales. Wan Hung Lo: Dick Van Dyke. Tan Bu-Ting: Carol Burnett.

Ch. 15  BLUBBERY STATE VS SCOTLAND YARD–Sports

The Blubbery State squad had better be careful: Scotland Yard arrests the teams that oppose them. They’re not really college football players, you see. Coach Fundee picked them up in Indonesia somewhere. Play-by-Play: Rosie Ruction.

2:30 P.M.  Ch. 21  WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!–Grimly disturbing melodrama. Yves Montand starts as a Frenchman who is really bent out of shape by this development! Also featuring Rosemary De Camp as the Borax Lady.

Ch. 49  THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF THE OTHER TRISTRAM SHANDY WHO WAS NOT A GENTLEMAN– Archaic soap opera

Yes, there were two Tristram Shandys, and one of them (Charles Bronson) wasn’t very nice! Tonight: The good Tristram Shandy (Al Packa) invents a riding mower–only to have it stolen by the hurdy-gurdy man (Dan Rather). Mrs. Bluefish: (Irene Ryan)

Well, how do you like those apples?

30+ Free Quokka & Animal Images - Pixabay

I wonder if they’d let me borrow this bicycle…

 

 

Forgot the Title!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

The Story Behind the Photo: Whale Breaching over Kayaks ...

“Timber!!!…?”  [Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip.]

Here’s something to think about while waiting to undergo surgery.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/whale-swallows-kayaker-video-i-thought-i-was-dead/

I mean, it could be worse–right? You could get swallowed by a whale. Sure, it spits you out as soon as it notices you’re not a fish, or plankton (with some people it’s hard to tell the difference), but that’s enough time to get seriously freaked out.

Ach, now… Get ready for the hospital.

Supercat to the Rescue!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

You let your little dog out one night to pee, and before you can think what to do, out of the shadows spring two coyotes to attack your dog.

But wait! Here comes your cat! The two coyotes run away, rather than face the wrath of the angry black cat. . Your cat has saved your dog. The video is quite clear about that. As for the cat: “Don’t mess with my family, butt-heads!”

Just when you think you’ve got cats all figured out…

 

A Fun Movie

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

SINBAD AND THE EYE OF THE TIGER Stock Photo - Alamy

Here’s something you don’t see every day…

I am, after all, supposed to rest: doctors’ orders. I try to get my blog work done in the morning so I can take the afternoon off. That usually involves a cigar and a movie.

I am a huge Ray Harryhausen fan–greatest special effects wizard ever. Today’s movie, Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger–featured more special effects than you can shake a stick at. I wonder what Harryhausen’s dreams were like.

It’s not Oedipus Rex, but it is a very fun movie from 1977 and I can’t imagine how Patty and I could have missed seeing it in the old Forum Theater (and that was fun, too! I wish it would re-open). Monsters galore, wonderful sets, and non-stop action and adventure: who could ask for anything more?

Anytime you want to give your brain a rinse, this Sinbad movie would be a good place to start.

The Cyclops Is Still Coming (‘Oy, Rodney)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Oy Rodney – Lee Duigon

Well, we’re still in Chapter DXXXI of Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney. “The cyclops was held up by other business commitments,” Ms. Crepuscular declares. “:I am not at liberty to disclose them.”

Meanwhile, woolly mammoths, provoked by the June Taylor Dancers, continue to make a shambles of downtown Scurveyshire. (Editor’s note: There is no uptown.) The regular people are holed up in Coldsore Hall.

Johnno the Merry Minstrel thinks he has a solution to the problem. He has decided not to reveal it. Just then–

Cyclops the 7th voyage of sinbad Black and White Stock ...

“Holy moley!” exfoliates Lady Margo Cargo. “The cyclops! He’s coming up Fulonda Hill! We’re all doomed, I tell you! Doomed!”

“Aw, dry up,” repatriates her fiancee, Lord Jeremy Coldsore.  “Anyone would think you never saw a cyclops before.”

Meanwhile Willis Twombley, the American adventurer who thinks he’s Sargon of Akkad, continues to take pot shots at the dancers.

“They ruined The Jackie Gleason Show for me, them gol-danged dancers,” he carols.

“Hadn’t we ought to save some ammunition for the cyclops?” Lord Jeremy proposes.

“Nah! Just poke out his eye with a pointed burning stick, and you’ll have him where you want him. Leastways,” Twombley adds, “that’s how we always done it in Akkad.”

Stay tuned for next week’s installment of this breath-taking serial. In the meantime… fret about it!

Byron’s TV Listings, Feb. 8

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

CTVA - US TV Listings - 1958

Move over, Leester! Byron the Quokka here, with some real TV listings that’ll knock your socks off–courtesy of Quokka University. These are among the greatest TV shows ever! Go ahead, ask anybody.

7 p.m.   Ch. 16  PICASSO DOESN’T SCHLEP HERE ANYMORE–Art history

This is highbrow stuff, no kidding! Tonight: Famous Artists Who Itched All the time and Didn’t Know Why. Host: Simon LeGree. Sponsored by Culver’s Skin Cream (Just wipe it on and wipe it off–hours of fun).

Ch.  25   WORLD NEWS WITH MR. WOODENHEAD–Exactly what you’d expect.

How about a nightly news broadcast in which the entire crew is clumsily painted marionettes? The anchor, Mr. Woodenhead, is also available to children as a sock puppet. Imagine the shock and awe suffered by the experts when this newscast walked off with the coveted Pete Bohunk Prize!

7:15 p.m.   Ch. 31  PUPPETS WHO PULL THE STRINGS–Sci-fi drama

This is why Channel 25 is suing Channel 31 in the Malagasy Republic Supreme Court. “Total rip-off!” cries the plaintiff. Meanwhile, imagine a world ruled by ruthless, all-powerful puppets! Theme song, Who’s Got Strings Attached Now?, earned star Ralph Lickspittle an Ambrose Fong Award.

7:30 p.m.  Ch. 14  EXCAULIFLOWER–Historical adventure

This is the story of King Barfur (Juan Valdez) and his Knights of the Craps Table. This week, Sir Pantsalot goes on a quest for the Holy Grail and comes back with the Groly Hail; and Queen Effervessent’s annual ping-pong tournament has to be canceled on account of monkeys.

Well, now, how about that! Are those TV shows or are those TV shows! You wouldn’t believe how much art history I’ve learned, watching Picasso Doesn’t Schlep Here Anymore.

516 Quokka Stock Photos, High-Res Pictures, and Images - Getty Images | Quokka selfie, Quokka smile, Quokka smiling

(I will not steal that bicycle, I will not steal that bicycle…!)

Byron the Quokka, signing off.

 

 

Thay Whil Awll Come B”a”ck!!!!!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Joe Biden - I was honored to unveil President Barack Obama ...

Taike “a good” look at Themb!!!! Thay Are “the” roolers Of Amaricka!!!!! And thay Are ^All^ goingto Come Back!! Darnold Trumpt, yore Daze thay are Numbured!!!!!!

Jobyden he “was A” grate pressadint!!!! Kamalala she wood of bin Grate too!!! Hillery she wood of bin the Gratest of themb All!!!! And pressadint O’Bomba he tops themb awl!!!!!!! (Whel, he IS a god…!!!)

Welh, let themb Repubicans injoy “it” wile “Thay” can!!!! Do you think Hillery Is “evver” Going Away?? Hah!!! And Kamalalala she “is” “ownly” Jist Geting Startid!!!!!! And awl we got to Do to get Jobydin back is brew Up a fiew of “these spacial Leeves” fromb Ejjipt!!!! (I seen it in a movie!!!)

Horror mummy hi-res stock photography and images - Page 3 ...

A mummy got to has a spacial Drink “of” Leeaves!!!! But see: Jobydin he looks beter awlreddy!!!

Evvryboddy thay knows Trumpt he “STOLE” the Elecksion!!!!! Heh-heh, waytill he waikes up One Nite to find Jobydin sylintly Creeping “into” his bedd roomb!!!!!!!!

I whish I cood “Be Thare” fore That!!!!!!!!!!

‘Cyclops is Coming!’ (‘Oy, Rodney’)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Oy Rodney – Lee Duigon

With everyone in Scurveyshire holed up in Coldsore Hall, and woolly mammoths and the June Taylor Dancers tearing it up outside, it’s no wonder there’s a bidding war on for Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney–all 530 chapters of it (we got that straightened out last week)… with more to come!

Fligh-Bi-Nite Publishing Inc. has offered $35 for the rights, while Hugh “N’ Mee Books offers $29.99 along with tickets to the musical, Bimbo Time. It is believed the June Taylor Dancers will fold like a cheap camera once they have to compete with the Howard Baseborn Dancers.

“But they aren’t falling to the mammoths,” observes Lord Jeremy Coldsore from his perch on the battlements, “even though three or four of them have been trampled into pudding.” With this comment he has made himself feel sick.

“Leave it to me, Germy,” says Willis Twombley, the American adventurer who has gone back to believing he’s Sargon of Akkad. He shoots a dancer who has been cavorting on a mammoth’s back. The mammoth trumpets his displeasure.

“No one but Violet can write suspenseful scenes like this!” deposes Lady Margo Cargo. “Whoever’s reading this should count himself–or herself–blessed beyond the ordinary lot of mortals!”

Gee wiz, Violet…

[P.S.–What cyclops? What are they talking about? Have I missed something?