Category: Just for Fun

Thay Whil Awll Come B”a”ck!!!!!

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Joe Biden - I was honored to unveil President Barack Obama ...

Taike “a good” look at Themb!!!! Thay Are “the” roolers Of Amaricka!!!!! And thay Are ^All^ goingto Come Back!! Darnold Trumpt, yore Daze thay are Numbured!!!!!!

Jobyden he “was A” grate pressadint!!!! Kamalala she wood of bin Grate too!!! Hillery she wood of bin the Gratest of themb All!!!! And pressadint O’Bomba he tops themb awl!!!!!!! (Whel, he IS a god…!!!)

Welh, let themb Repubicans injoy “it” wile “Thay” can!!!! Do you think Hillery Is “evver” Going Away?? Hah!!! And Kamalalala she “is” “ownly” Jist Geting Startid!!!!!! And awl we got to Do to get Jobydin back is brew Up a fiew of “these spacial Leeves” fromb Ejjipt!!!! (I seen it in a movie!!!)

Horror mummy hi-res stock photography and images - Page 3 ...

A mummy got to has a spacial Drink “of” Leeaves!!!! But see: Jobydin he looks beter awlreddy!!!

Evvryboddy thay knows Trumpt he “STOLE” the Elecksion!!!!! Heh-heh, waytill he waikes up One Nite to find Jobydin sylintly Creeping “into” his bedd roomb!!!!!!!!

I whish I cood “Be Thare” fore That!!!!!!!!!!

‘Cyclops is Coming!’ (‘Oy, Rodney’)

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Oy Rodney – Lee Duigon

With everyone in Scurveyshire holed up in Coldsore Hall, and woolly mammoths and the June Taylor Dancers tearing it up outside, it’s no wonder there’s a bidding war on for Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney–all 530 chapters of it (we got that straightened out last week)… with more to come!

Fligh-Bi-Nite Publishing Inc. has offered $35 for the rights, while Hugh “N’ Mee Books offers $29.99 along with tickets to the musical, Bimbo Time. It is believed the June Taylor Dancers will fold like a cheap camera once they have to compete with the Howard Baseborn Dancers.

“But they aren’t falling to the mammoths,” observes Lord Jeremy Coldsore from his perch on the battlements, “even though three or four of them have been trampled into pudding.” With this comment he has made himself feel sick.

“Leave it to me, Germy,” says Willis Twombley, the American adventurer who has gone back to believing he’s Sargon of Akkad. He shoots a dancer who has been cavorting on a mammoth’s back. The mammoth trumpets his displeasure.

“No one but Violet can write suspenseful scenes like this!” deposes Lady Margo Cargo. “Whoever’s reading this should count himself–or herself–blessed beyond the ordinary lot of mortals!”

Gee wiz, Violet…

[P.S.–What cyclops? What are they talking about? Have I missed something?

Byron’s TV Listings, Feb. 1

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TV Guide January 6, 1968 N. California... - Retro TV ...

G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Happy February Fools Day!  Here at Quokka University, we’re celebrating it with a solid weekend of fabulous TV. We’ve got shows and movies that you never dreamed existed! Like these:

6:48 p.m.   Ch. 96   MOVIE–Unbearable suspense

A world-class pianist (Marjorie Main) thinks her bra is imbued with a sinister intelligence, in The Bra (1951, 14 minutes). Prof. Sahib Gupta (himself). Hapless victim stalked by bra: Jill St. John. Pretentious German novelist (Don Knotts).

7 p.m.   Ch. 09   Evening News With Soupy Sales–Old news

Way back in 1969, Uruguayan guerrillas kidnapped comedian Soupy Sales, mistaking him for Walter Cronkite and forcing him to anchor newscasts favorable to their cause. When they finally realized their mistake, they offered to trade Soupy for Warner Wolf. Tune in to get the whole story!

Ch. 22   I BUSTED MY COCCYX, MAN!–Dramatic sitcom

It isn’t every TV sitcom that has beavers in it (no, we are not counting Leave It to Beaver!); but Coccyx not only has beavers: it started out as a nitty-gritty detective series starring Fong Hsueh-ding. They kept Fong, the beavers Pat and Mike, and the Coccyx but chucked the rest. Special guest star: Roy Rogers. Not-so-special star: Some Mameluke caught loitering in the alley next to the studio.

7:30   Ch. 42  MRS. MAGOO–Adult cartoons

Mr. Magoo may be very nearly blind, but Mrs. Magoo sees things that nobody else sees because there’s nothing there! By the same animators who brought you Joe Biden, Mrs. Magoo has been hailed as positively the greatest TV show ever! This week: Mrs. Magoo tries to catch the scorpions crawling all over her breakfast table and into Mr. Magoo’s soup.

Well, folks, that should hold you for a weekend!

What Makes Quokkas So Happy?!? — Well/Beings

You can see Mrs. Magoo has already put me in a good mood. Byron the Quokka, signing off!

Fihght For Green Land!!!

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Greenland's Vivid Landscapes: Raw, Undiscovered, and ...

Hoaw the heck “is he” gunna bild A Casseeno hear??????

Heer “at” collidge we Are whay too Smart to fall “foar” Darnold Trumpt trying To Taik Over Green Land!!!

Evver sinct “it was” dis-cuvverd by “Vykings” trying To Get “to” Minnasoda, Green Land it has “bin” ful of Poler Bares and Seels. Eskamoes hunt themb!!!! Trumpt he Is sayying he woont Let themb “hunt” ennymoar unlest thay Pay himb $$14 dollards foar A Lycinct!!!! He whants To Deestroy Thair Culchut “so he” Can bild “a” Casseeno up thare!!!!

HE MUST BE STOPT!!!! One moar Casseeno and thats “The End” of evvry-Thing!!!!! Casseenoes thay cawze Climbit Change!!!!!!!!!! I kannot Stresst “this” enuff!!!!!!!

(He stil Thingks he “won” The Elexion!! Whaytll he seas “the” “Fynul Voat Coawnt!”:!”!” Rite-in “voats” galoar foar Pressadint Obumma!!!!!! Thenn he Saives “the” Plannit!!!!!!!!

Green Land it shood Not “be” part of The Untied Staites!!!!

Butt shood Amairacka be “Part Of” Green Land??

Fish Chomps Down on ‘Mermaid’s’ Head

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The fish chomped down on the performer’s head, scaring children watching. NewsXOut there in China–the name’s much too complicated for me to post here–they put on a little show at the aquarium in Primitive Forest Park. The mermaid was a Russian swimmer (no last name given). The first was unidentified–although it looked like a sturgeon to me.

If you look at the top of the picture you’ll see the fish sort of licking its lips (https://nypost.com/2025/01/29/us-news/giant-fish-bites-mermaid-performers-head-in-front-of-screaming-children/)

I wonder why there aren’t more incidents like this. I once had a long conversation with a woman who worked at the Boston Aquarium–worked underwater, I add. She said the only problem there was the sea turtles. You had to be careful not to let them get too close, or sneak up behind you. They bite. It hurts.

But the sharks, the stingrays, the barracudas–they know the attendant’s going to feed them, so why start trouble?

I don’t know. Ask the sturgeon.

It’s Just Your Reflection

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Some animals completely ignore their reflections. It’s like they simply don’t see it. Others react violently. Our poor Carolina anole just about blew a gasket when he first saw his reflection. We had to make sure he never saw it again.

This poor spider in the video! Waving her legs around and rocking back and forth is a communication of sorts–although I can’t remember what it means. Ready to mate? Get your fat self out of my territory? I know where some tasty bugs are? All I know is that it does mean something.

I wonder how a praying mantis reacts to his reflection. I’ll bet it ain’t peaceably.

Scurveyshire Goes Dark

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a gripping page-turner headed for the top of the NY Times bestseller list | Romance novels, Funny romance, Book parody

We are now entering a period which historians and peanut vendors call “Scurveyshire’s Dark Age.”

The June Taylor Dancers have emerged from the forest and pretty much conquered the shire. Lord Jeremy Coldsore and his friends and family are holed up in the manor house. Peering down from the lofty tower once used as a location in The Pnath Brothers Meet the Bowery Boys, Lord Jeremy remarks to the American adventurer, Willis Twombley (who thinks he’s Sargon of Akkad), “If only they’d stop the bloomin’ dancing! It’s getting on my nerves.”

Here the author, Violet Crepuscular, breaks in.

“Before Mr. Twombley reveals the long-lost truth about the June Taylor Dancers, I must object to whoever it is out there who’s ruined my plot!” she ululates.

Before she can reveal Twombley revealing the secret, Twombley shoulders his rifle and pots the dancer with the floppy ears.

“I say!” exacerbates Jeremy. “That’s just not done, old chap! It’s murder, you know.”

“Murder schmurder, as they say in Kizzuwatna,” answers Twombley. “It ain’t nothin’ compared to what Violet’s cookin’ up for next week.”

Let us leave it at that, for now. They don’t call Violet The Queen Of Suspense for nothing.

Funny Cats

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Oh, how I miss our cats! It’s hard for me to post cat videos; but we do strive for a return to normalcy. I wonder if we’ll ever get there.

I’d like for it to snow today.

Thay ‘Batter’ Whach Out!!!!!

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King Neptune | Virginia Beach Public Art

Whel, yiu Biggits & Haters, yiu aksed “for” it!!!! Yiou kipt mesing With “the” Envyromint, and nhow the Envyromint it “is goingto” mess whith yiu!!!!!!

Joe Collidge heer–and iff Yiu “thinck” yore goingto Get A-Whay whith sneeking Darnold Trumpt in-to The Whyte Hoawse??? Wye, evvry Collidge Prefesser “in the” Cuntry thay whil sea Thruough that!!!!

Do yiu Know whoo That “is” “in” the Pixture up thare?? No it Is not Deby Rennelds!!! It is the god “of” the Raritan River, in Noow Jarsey–And he is pised!!!!!!! He is ownly jist Weighting for Davos (“in” Urup!) to GRANT HIMB PARSON-HOOD and then jist whach himb Go To Town!!!!

Davos & The E.U. thay can give parson-hood to mountains & hills & rivers & The Woods & The Swamp,,, witch is kynde Of funy, I thawt the Swamp it “was In” Warshingtin D.C.!!! Just weight till Thay Awl Get “brung to Lyfe” by SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!! Thay “whil” Exasserate “the” Repubican Partiy!!!!

And thay Got “theeze” here Mowntins named “Alps’ THAT “are” goingto Martch Awl “Over” Urup…

Dumm and Stopid! Yiu shooda gived ’em Awl yore $$munny$$ wen yiz hadded “the” Chants!!!!!

The Newts, the Mammoths, and the June Taylor Dancers (‘Oy, Rodney’)

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Oy Rodney – Lee Duigon

Suddenly publishers have gone wild over Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney. It’s too bad she forgot so much of her story and has to go back to Chapter DCCXLIV. She has created a continuity issue, but they want her anyway. “There’s only one Violet, and we want her!” exclaims Wanda Byaduck, CEO and Editor-in-chief at Feeble Books.

Meanwhile, it’s 9:20 in the morning in Scurveyshire and the mammoths are coming, they’re besieging Coldsore Hall but can’t get in because their author has not endowed them with intelligence, and the June Taylor Dancers have emerged from the woods and are dancing down High Street. They think they’ll get high.

“I never could stand them hairy elephants,” soliloquizes Willis Twombley, the American adventurer who thinks he” s Tab Hunter… after all those years of thinking he was Sargon of Akkad. Who’s next–Liberace? “They always give me a feelin’ of–I don’t know–findin’ out you’re really Liberace.”

Lord Jeremy Coldsore, organizing the defense of Coldsore Hall, breaks into Twombley’s soliloquy with an unseemly noise.

“Do you think your bullets will stop them, old chap?” quoth Jeremy.

“If they don’t,” sez Willis, “I can always pick off a few of those June Taylor Dancers. They were a big waste of time on the old Jackie Gleason show.”

Is it any wonder the publishers are clamoring for this book?