I has A new Majer!!

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I has been “Thinking” i has aught to Chainge my Majer becose Gender Studdies it is jist so hard!!! It is reel “hard” to rember al the Diffrint Genders that wasnt thare last weeek!

So i was reel hapy wen I founed out our Collidge it is offring a new Majer in Nothing Studdies!!! This is jist purfict!! It gots lots “of” coarses In it thay are fastinating!! i cant hardly “whait” to take Them!

Neckst semmestar i amb “goingto” sine Up for Beeyonsay Studdies jist like thay has “at” Ruttgers, and Whaching Car-Toons on TV, and Play Doh and Pickup Stix and Protesting Evry Thing, and aslo Callecting Ear Whax and Roling It Into “a” Big Ball!! I amb aslo Intrested in a coarse in Master Baiting,, i whunder waht It is!!!

The grate Thing abote it is,, yiu are Garinteed to “Get” yore deegree & al yiu has to doo is Pay “fore” it!!! How grate is that??? Ok, thare “is” one promble= my fambly thay has “kicked” me Out and i hasnt got “no” munny!!! But somb of the Stodents thay Are all-reddy Pan Handling and My Plan it is to Pan Handel offf themb!!!

I reely got to get my deegree Sune so i “can” be an Offisul And Bone Affied Introllectural!!!! becose us interllecturals we has got to Run the Contry!! Ordrinary dum peple thay “are” Jist two dum to do it whith-out Us!!

‘The Progressives’ Guide to Talking to Regular Americans’

Image result for images of man in propeller hat

Edited by Dr. Floyd Rubbish, Professor of Gender Studies and Social Justice at Effing University (see above)

(Leaked to this blog by someone who dassn’t give his name)

The following are excerpts from a pamphlet that will be distributed at the upcoming Democrat retreat in West Virginia, The Progressives’ Guide to Talking to Regular Americans.

*We are perplexed that “regular Americans,” who do not live in large urban centers, rejected our party and our candidate in the 2016 national elections. This aberration must be corrected!

For some unfathomable reason, yelling at these people, calling them names, making fun of them, and running down everything that they hold sacred just doesn’t seem to be working anymore. Well, it’s like yelling at a bunch of bowling pins, isn’t it? So we must modify our approach, and here are a few suggestions for doing so…

*Patiently and kindly explain to these stupid people just how stupid they are. They haven’t grasped that yet.

*In a friendly and winsome manner, explain to them just how lucky they are to have wise intellectuals like us to guide them, and what a calamity it would be for them to make important decisions without our guidance.

*Patiently teach them to understand just how wrong, stupid, outdated, wicked, and absurd their values are, especially their religious notions, and how wise they would be to abandon their values and accept our values in their place.

*We recommend no further action on a proposal to rename Washington, D.C., “Obamagrad.” Our focus groups didn’t think much of it.

*Use star power! Convince them that they, too, can be beautiful and cool like Beyonce and Lady Gaga if only they believe and vote as Beyonce and Lady Gaga do. Success is virtually guaranteed! Even 65-year-old academics with grey ponytails want to be beautiful and cool like Beyonce and Lady Gaga.

*Finally, if all else fails, simply pretend to agree with these fools, tell them what they want to hear, and, once you’re back in office, the hell with ’em! This has always worked for Republicans, and it’s a cinch to work for us, too!

Provided as a public service.

Another Reason Not to Watch the Stupid Bowl

Are you tired of multimillionaire celebrities whining about how oppressed they are?

Well, if you’re not, you’ll enjoy the Super Bowl halftime show today, during which oppressed zillionaire superstar Beyonce will perform what has been described as “a racially charged” music video ( http://variety.com/2016/music/news/beyonce-formation-music-video-1201699214/ ).

The video will feature a police car being sunk into some body of water, and a wall spray-painted with the message, “Stop Shooting Us.” Because, as you know, white policemen make a habit of gunning down poor black males for no reason whatsoever and always get away with it because of White Privilege.

In fact, the overwhelming majority of “Us” who get murdered, get murdered by “Us.” Not by policemen. This is a fact. There are people who are not afraid to state it. But they don’t get to put on Super Bowl halftime shows.

Hey! Wouldn’t it be absolutely cool if Beyonce set off a race riot at the Super Bowl? I don’t know–is that what she wants? Because liberals sure do give the impression that that’s exactly what they want.

Our Lord blesses peacemakers. How do you suppose He feels about persons who go far out of their way to un-make the peace?

Turn it off, folks; turn it off. There’s got to be something better to do than watching this garbage.