Tag Archives: ridiculous college courses

Stealth ‘Education’

Review: The Nutty Professor - Slant Magazine

What could our colleges possibly have to hide?

(Thanks to Phoebe for the nooze tip)

With colleges and universities shut down in quarantine, “educators” and students are trying to provide a college education online. In itself, a good idea. But you know what happens to good ideas when leftids get hold of them.

Some professors are getting worried about the content of their, er, “teaching” becoming generally known to the public (https://moonbattery.com/profs-fear-public-will-learn-what-they-have-been-teaching/). Like, what would happen if parents found out what they were really getting for their tuition money?

Warns a professor at Texas Christian–“Christian”? Did I read that right?–University, “If you are recording a lecture on anything controversial, be prepared for the right-wing sites to ask students to share it.” Whoa! We can’t let that happen! Just one of those “down with white people” spiels, viewed online by thousands of white parents who are paying a fortune for their kids’ minds to be gelatinized by these left-wing jidrools, and the whole Higher Education enterprise could be jeopardized.

Another professor suggests posting course materials on youtube as “unlisted videos,” so you’d need to have the direct link to view them.

When I was substitute teaching in a certain high school, some years ago, the only class that was never handed to a substitute was Sex Education. If the teacher was absent, a vice principal had to supervise the class. They had a strict rule against bringing any textbook out of the classroom, lest the student take it home and his parents see it and start asking awkward (and heated) questions.

So they want to hide their content from the paying public! Doesn’t that just puff you up with confidence?

One naturally suspects that yeah, they’ve got plenty of bad stuff to hide.

Defund the colleges. Put them into the free market and let them sink or swim. And don’t expect a lot of swimming.


Master of Morons

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(Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip)

When moronic Far Left college students tried to shut down the New York City subway system on Jan. 31, The New York Post has reported, the mastermind behind it seems to have been a New York University professor who teaches “militant activism” and whose contact information has since been deleted from the NYU website (https://nypost.com/2020/02/15/nyu-professor-founded-anarchist-group-that-attacked-subways-last-month/).

This guy, who wasn’t born here but has a nice life in America, is the founder of a bunch called “Decolonize This Place” and a teacher in NYU’s “experimental humanities” department, exploring the connection between “art and activism.” Honk if you think NYU has way too much money to spend on frivolous horseschiff.

His social media posts have been taken down, too; but we hear they included instructions on how to stab or blind police officers. The students who attacked the subway system reportedly did some $100,000 worth of damage to public property–while demanding “free” rides on the subway for everyone, from now on, and the removal of all police presence from the subway system. Can you imagine what would happen, if they actually did that? Only persons bent on suicide would dare to ride the subway.

Just now, neither NYU nor the NYPD are commenting on the case. There’s some movement among non-radical students to get Professor Yo-Yo fired… But then who would teach “art and activism”?

Do we really need to open our borders to persons who hate the United States and want to bring it down?

Meanwhile, defund the universities. No more public money!


We Deamanned eezy Corses!!!

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Tooday we hadded “a” meating of The Stodent Soviet to de-manned fromb nowh “on” thare be Nothing butt Reel Eezy Corses hear at Collidge so evry One thay can Gradurate!!!

Al the collidge it has to Do “is” drop al themb Hard Corses! I knowed a gye he “was” taking Allergebra and it was jist Awffle!!! It was tooo hard! Thare shoodnt be “no” Math in collidge becose Math it “is” ownly For no good stinkin wyte Peple!! And yiu know watts wrong whith “it???” Yiu woont beleave it!!! Thay keep sayin thare is A Rihght Ansir to evry Promble! And al the Otther Ansirs thay “are” Wrong!!! This is Racist!!!

Butt wee aslo deamanneded thay get Ridd “of” Histary becose its Old! and get ridd of Englisch becose its jist wyte Privlidge! Al themb Ackadimmick corses thay are ownly “in” thare to maik stodents feeel Bad!!! Themb proffs thay jist caint whayt to Flunk yiu!!!!

Constaquintly becose of al themb Hard Corses thare “are” Stodents who cant gradurate “And” thay dont get no Deegree or nothing!!! Lasst yeer we jist fowneded Out that our Graduration Rayt “it was” ownly Nineteeen 19 Parsent!!!! That is unconsional!!! The Rayte it shood Be One hunderd 100 parsent!!!

I amb luccky i amb majering In Nothing Studdies and noboddy thay nevver Flunks Nothing Studdies!!!! Acksipt for this one gye he Flunkeded the Fynal becose he eated The Test and thenn got Sick alll Over “the” prefesser’s Desque!!!!!! Butt evry Boddy elst we al getted Strait As!!! Al we got “to Do” is keep paiying “the” Tution and in Fyve 5 oar Sicks 6 Yeers we gets our Deegree!!!

And yiu sea that oncet Evry Boddy thay all gets Strait As,, then Evry Boddy thay “are” Eaquol!!! Eaquolitty it “is” Goood!!!!!!!!!!


My Favret Super Heero!!!

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Yeasterday in Nothing Studies “the” prefesser she assined us To Wreite a Termb Payper on “”Whom is Yore Favret Super Heero?””! It “is” doo by the End of “the” Smester and It whil cownt fore Haff our Grayd!!! But That it is “no” promble Becose she is goingto Give us All A’s annyhow,, it wood Be “a” Micro Grecian iff she gived us anny thing but a A!! She sayed this hear payper it “is” a Extrasize in Crickle Thinkking!!!!

Wel i was reely Stuck! Haow do yiu pick yore Favret Super Heero wen thare “is” so Menny Of “themb” and yiu Lyke themb alll??? SupraMan and BahtMan and Aqwavellva Man to saye Nothing “of” Wolfereen and the Blak Pander and Speiderman!!

Butt finely i desiddid my Favret Super Heero of themb “all” it is Wouldy Wouldpecker!!!!!!

Crimbinols and Climbit Chainge Denyars and Haters thay alll gives up and cry wen “thay” here Wouldy Wouldpecker lauhght!!!! Ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!! Wen thay here that they know thay Are finnish!!

And gee wow!!! I jist reelyzed “that” i can jist hand “in” this hear Post and that “whil” be my Termb Payper and i woont has to doo anny moar Work “on” it!!!!!!!!!!

Man i amb reely Geting “the” Hang of Collidge!!!


Lib Profs Outnumber Conservatives, 12-1

Melissa Click, an assistant professor in the University of Missouri's communications, gestures during a run-in with student journalists on Nov. 9, 2015, at a campus protest that followed the resignations of the university system's president and the Columbia campus' chancellor in Columbia, Missouri. (Associated Press)

(Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip)

Okay, who’s surprised about this? A study shows that Far Left college professors outnumber conservatives, 12-1 (https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/oct/6/liberal-professors-outnumber-conservatives-12-1/). The researchers surveyed 40 “leading universities” and found the faculty voter registration figures to be about 3,600 Democrat to only 300 Republican. It sounds like Thermopylae.

Why the huge disparity?

The researchers reasoned–rather shrewdly, I thought–that the main cause of this has been academic disciplines “branching out” into Silly Studies–women’s studies, gender studies, Everything Is Racist studies, and all the rest of it–that no conservative professor could ever bring himself to “teach.”

Job One for our colleges is to crank out more Far Left crazies. Job Two is to expand perpetually, so as to find jobs for as many of these chowderheads as possible. That a vast swath of them are totally unemployable even by colleges is of no concern.

Public schools, teachers’ unions, our grotesquely overgrown “higher education” system–kill these, and Far Left Crazy dies. In America, at least, what we laughingly call “education” is leftism’s life support system.

That alone is ample reason to defund it.


‘University Scandal! Brain-Removal Operations’ (2015)

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Sometimes the reason people act like they have no brains is because they have no brains.

https://leeduigon.com/2015/07/10/university-scandal-brain-removal-operations/

But the serious point is that we have way too many colleges and universities, with way too many young (and not-so-young) students warehoused in them, “learning” way too many stupid things from way too many daft professors, it costs way, way, way too much money–and it’s strangling our country.

Defund them.


We has got Gender Dolls!!

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Thare is jist “no” end to the Interllecturalniss we get hear at Collidge!! Tooday in Nothing Studdies thay teached us “how” “to” play whith Dolls!!!

Theese hear dolls thay “are” Gender Floowid! That meens thay “can” be mail Or feemail Or neether!!! All yiu got “to” “do” “to” chainge thare Gender is,, yiu put diffrint clothes on themb!!! and aslo do thare hare diffrint!! Its “that” eezy!!!!!

Thenn thay shoowd us “a” Moovie butt i allreddy seed “it” wen i was Majering in Gender Studdies it is caled How Floowed Is Floowed?? and Tomb Hancks he is “in” it!!! At leest i thinked its Tomb Hancks maby it “is” sum one Elss! Itis al aboat How yiu “can” be al sortce of diffrint Genders whith all sortce of Diffrint Pro-nowns and iff sum Biggit Hater he dont use the “rihght” Pro-nown that yiu whant,, yiu can “get” himb Arestid and throwed in Jale!!!! How grate “is” That???

Unfortchinitly thay dont “let” us “taik” the Gender Dolls back to the Dorms whith us becose thay cost tooo Expensif but i dont has a Dorm roomb becose I still spleep in my Prefesser”s Twool Shed so i thawt it “wood be” alrihght iff i taked my Doll back thare but thay woodnt “let” “me” “do” that ether!!

To-marrow our prefesser she is goingto teetch “us” “how” to maik a Ball out of Play-Doh and role it all arowned!! Thare is awlyays sum Thing “new” “to” lern!!!!!!


I Amb still Trying To be A wimmin!!

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It is so Hard to tern into a wimmin! Themb Moth Hormoans thay shot me “up” “whith” all thay done “was” give me “theese” hear Moth Antenners and maiked me look goofy!!!

But its a Good Thing i amb hear in Collidge becose “in” collidge “we” has got So Manny Interllecturals thay can alyaws “think Up” a noo whay to do jist abote Any Thing!!!

So now we got “a” noo Coarse it is jist “starting” Up this Simmester,, it is a Coarse in Bellie Dantsing!! and I sined Up “for”: it!! and now i whill be lerning How To Bellie Dantse and that wil “Hellp” me tern into a wimmin “at Last”!!!!! and If i Passe it then i wil Get Three (3!) Ackadimmick Creddits!!!!! i cuddnit Affourd the Oficile Bellie Dantsing Cosstomb thouogh so i whil has to Bellie Dantse in my Undies!!!

And wood yiu Beleave “it??? some biggit he sayed i am Growtesk!!! and that he got Nite Mares from jist “looking” at me doing Bellie Dantsing,, he got Dizzy fromb see-ing my Moth Antenners “spin” arownd and arownd wile i dantsed!!! It maiked me Cry!!! Butt that is OK becose Crying “it” “Is” alloud in this hear Class!!! and aslo I re-Portid him to the Collidge Buyas Responts Teem and nowh he Must go inter Sensertivvaty Traning!! and aslo i let the aire Out “of” his tyres wen he wazznt Looking!!

I amb aslo sined “up” fore Play-Doh Modling 202 it is “the” Advantsed Coarse and i whil lern How To yuze a pentsle to poak Holes in a bawl of Play-Doh “to” Maik ayes and a Nose,, witch maikes it into A Fayce!!!!! It is reel Skullpture!!!


‘Prof Seeks Funds for Zombie Study’ (2015)

Bob Hope hits the bullseye.

Yes–now you can go to collidge, and run of a $150,000 debt, to study… zombies.

https://leeduigon.com/2015/12/16/prof-seeks-funds-for-zombie-study/

The fact that there’s no such thing as zombies doesn’t seem to deter anyone. College students study a lot of things that don’t exist and never have. Unless you define “white privilege” as the privilege of being blamed for everything and having to pay for entitlements to Democrat voting blocs.

Our universities–making America dumber by the day.


Lets go On A Dieit!!

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Yeasterday we hadded a spacial Lexture in Nothing Studdies abote Dieits and “Haow” yiu shoodnt “eeat” nothing whith Attems in it! Becose themb Attems thay gett “mixed” tagether “and” That maikes themb into Mollycules and thenn Anny Thing it Can “hapen” jist abote al of It all Bad!!!!

It terns Out thare “are” Mollycules in Meet and Vejtibbles and themb Mollycules thay are watt maikes yiu Fat and maikes yiu aslo Whatch Fox News!!! Butt i was Feeeling Releaved becose yiu can stil eet jim sox and hankerchiffs thare isnt no Mollycules in thare!!! But then the Lexturer she sayed “i Hait to telll yiu this butt thare is Attems in pracktally Evry Thing and Attems thay meene Mollycules!!”!

and then somb Eaval whyte Soupremassist he wispered “O Yeah?? then how comb she her is so freekin Fatt??? she must waigh 3 hunderd powneds!!! butt” we herd himb so six of us wee beet himb up!!! Aslo now he hasto “go” to Sencertivatty Traning becose he is Aginst Divercity!!!!! We try not to lett enny Fashists into Nothing Studdies but thay “keep” sneeking “in”!” and maiking biggit speach!!!

Wel somb of Us we was whirryed yiu coodnt “eat” nothing at al becose amlost “Evvry” Thing its got Attems in “it” but that is OK afteral becose The Lexturer “she” toled us she cood cell us “theese” hear Pills witch yiu can take and “thay” “pre-vent” the Attems fromb buntching tagether “And” maiking Mollycules!!! So natcherly we al byed themb Pills so now we are “Saif” fromb Mollycules!!!!! It was a Close Cawl thuohgh!!!!!!


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