I’ve never been able to learn how this turned out!
Reeling from their defeat in the 2016 election (“What??? They rejected Hillary?”), Democrats planned a major pow-wow in West Virginia to try to figure out how to talk to regular Americans. It would have been a challenge: most Democrats don’t know any regular Americans.
Edited by Dr. Floyd Rubbish, Professor of Gender Studies and Social Justice at Effing University (see above)
(Leaked to this blog by someone who dassn’t give his name)
The following are excerpts from a pamphlet that will be distributed at the upcoming Democrat retreat in West Virginia, The Progressives’ Guide to Talking to Regular Americans.
*We are perplexed that “regular Americans,” who do not live in large urban centers, rejected our party and our candidate in the 2016 national elections. This aberration must be corrected!
For some unfathomable reason, yelling at these people, calling them names, making fun of them, and running down everything that they hold sacred just doesn’t seem to be working anymore. Well, it’s like yelling at a bunch of bowling pins, isn’t it? So we must modify our approach, and here are a few suggestions for doing so…
*Patiently and kindly explain to these stupid people just how stupid they are. They haven’t grasped that yet.
*In a friendly and winsome manner, explain to them just how lucky they are to have wise intellectuals like us to guide them, and what a calamity it would be for them to make important decisions without our guidance.
*Patiently teach them to understand just how wrong, stupid, outdated, wicked, and absurd their values are, especially their religious notions, and how wise they would be to abandon their values and accept our values in their place.
*We recommend no further action on a proposal to rename Washington, D.C., “Obamagrad.” Our focus groups didn’t think much of it.
*Use star power! Convince them that they, too, can be beautiful and cool like Beyonce and Lady Gaga if only they believe and vote as Beyonce and Lady Gaga do. Success is virtually guaranteed! Even 65-year-old academics with grey ponytails want to be beautiful and cool like Beyonce and Lady Gaga.
*Finally, if all else fails, simply pretend to agree with these fools, tell them what they want to hear, and, once you’re back in office, the hell with ’em! This has always worked for Republicans, and it’s a cinch to work for us, too!
Not being a mental health professional, I have never actually listened to a conversation with a genuine loon, much less tried to hold one. But going by what I’ve read, I heard the next closest thing this afternoon on my car radio.
It was a Bernie Sanders voter.
Now you can say things that are wrong, or misinformed, or intentionally deceptive, or even evil, and they will still make some kind of sense to your hearer. What you say may madden someone, maybe even provoke him to take a swing at you–but at least he will have some idea of what you’re driving at.
Not so this woman on the radio.
I have never heard an ostensibly sane person say such loopy things. I suspect a college education was at work: she took to heart the teaching that words mean whatever you want them to mean. So most of what came out of her mouth was pure indecipherable twaddle. Like, Question: What do you mean when you say you’re a progressive? Answer: “As a progressive, I reject all the labels, all those categories that keep people apart…” What’s that supposed to mean?
I listened for upwards of 20 minutes, and this is about the closest I can come to describing her position: “It’s the System that is bad, it’s corporations that keep people from loving each other–” please don’t ask me what she meant by that–“and when we get rid of all the barriers and categories and there are no more countries and there’s just one government for the whole world, it’s gonna be great, great, great!” I admit I have probably made her more coherent than she really was.
It’s distressing to think there are millions of such persons out there, all armed with votes.
But this is what I mean when I say college is destroying America.
“Progressives” (they don’t like us to call them “liberals” anymore) like to say their very name denotes forward movement: progress. Yes, put them in power, and you get progress.
My home town has been governed by progs since Watergate, and our “progress” consists of losing resources that it would have been good for us to keep. Here is a short list of what my town has lost, under Democrat management.
2 hardware stores
1 rather large school, our middle school, which had just been expanded, which expansion was still being paid for when they shut it down
3 grocery stores
1 butcher shop
1 pet shop
2 variety/dollar stores
2 stationery stores
1 gift shop
1 clothing store
1 shoe store
These have been replaced by condos, bank branch offices, trendy restaurants that stay in business for a year or so and then go belly-up, nail salons, boarded-up storefronts, new office buildings with no tenants after a whole year or two of being made available, and big projects that never get as far as groundbreaking.
You know something? Everybody needs a hardware store from time to time, but nobody ever needs a trendy restaurant.
If this is your idea of progress, you gotta be a happy camper.